


An Unexpected Life

by Legenmarriedalways16



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Alternate - Freeform, Angst, Divorce, Drama, F/M, Family, Fix It, Friendship, Heartbreak, Post-Canon Fix-It, Reunions, Secrets, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2020-10-11 09:56:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 71,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20544254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legenmarriedalways16/pseuds/Legenmarriedalways16
Summary: Robin learns a secret that Barney has been keeping for months, and it changes her life in a way she didn’t expect. Set in 2020, fix it finale!This was written Pre-Coronavirus!





	1. The Unknown Woman

2020

It’s actually Ted’s wedding day, he got married that’s something to celebrate. But, as the gang celebrates at the reception Robin remembers just an hour ago when they were at the wedding ceremony that Barney had been looking at her. When Ted and Tracy were saying their vows, he looked at her since he was across from him. She was trying so hard to not look at her ex husband but she found it to be an impossible task, so she looks at him and he smiles at her and she found herself smiling back. This was the first time in years that she smiled at something. She hadn’t been happy since she and Barney decided to divorce. It had taken another month to be sure that it was the right decision, because neither were happy anymore. So, in April of 2016 they filed for divorce. It look another three months for it to be official, but when it did both were not taking it as everyone around thought they were or would be. Barney had started drinking, a lot. He was staying out late at night trying to see if single Barney was still good at being single. So, he started to pick up women in bars, not just Maclaren’s but other bars wherever he was in whatever place or country he was in. That didn’t last long though he felt more and more lonely, more empty as he continued to bed women he didn’t feel anything for. He was broken again, completely and utterly heartbroken over the finalization of his divorce. He stopped picking up women a year after the split, so on the anniversary of the divorce being final he runs into a blast from his past. And, Robin well she traveled, she was trying desperately to forget about Barney, forget about the relationship, forget about the divorce being final, forget about ever thinking that they would last forever. Robin drowned herself in work and liquor. She ran through all the liquor bottles in every hotel room in whatever country, city, state, any place she was in because how can she forget? How could she forget that she was happy, how could she forget that she loved him so much and for a long time. How could she forget that their friendship meant the world to her and now they don’t even talk to each other. It was nearly impossible for her to forget that Barney the love that broke her, he broke her. She became this broken, unhappy, ungrateful, shell of a person she used to be, how could she forget that he made her broken again, the divorce made her broken. She tries to move on but she couldn’t, how could she move on when she still loved him? With everything she had... and she took that everything and turned it into a lonely, depressing, sad, life all because she was a coward. Yep, she finally admits to herself that she’s a coward, a chicken. She let them get to their breaking points and didn’t do anything to prevent the biggest fight of their entire relationship.

So, Robin tries to move on with her life. And, then one day she gets a calls.

“Robin, I have been trying to get you for the last two days.” Lily says to her, she’s in London in 2019 when she gets the call that changes everything.

“Sorry, I’ve been really busy. What’s up?” She says wondering why Lily’s calling her. She had received many calls and texts in the last two days, some of them she listened to or responded to and some she didn’t. But, most if not all of them were really serious. She hadn’t had the time to call or talk to any of her friends or family in the past year since being stationed in London.

She has been a correspondent for the international news in London and since coming here she’s been really busy and hadn’t had any time to even breathe let alone return phone calls. But, the calls seemed serious quite urgent so Robin wonders that this is something really bad or good, but from the sound of the messages she was sent it seems to be bad.

“Are you sitting down? There’s something I need to tell you and it’s really important.” She braces herself and sits down on her hotel bed.

“Okay, what is it?” She feels her heart starting to pump in her chest, this must be really bad.

“Um, so remember how there was this thing with Robots Vs. Wrestlers?” Lily wants to see if Robin remembers this event they had gone to for years. The gang had split up after her wedding to Barney she hadn’t gotten to go to these types of activities anymore, not since she took the correspondent job.

“Yeah. Why?” She feels in her gut that something is really bad. Something is going to effect her life so she puts her hand over her heart cause it started to pump more inside her chest.

“Well, the gang was all at this years event/show and Barney was there with us. Anyway, he told us some unexpected news.” Her heart is like busting out of her chest, when Lily mentions Barney she knows something is up, something really bad.

“Oh, okay what is it?” She wants to know, she’s bracing herself for probably the worst news she’s ever going to hear.

“Barney, told us that he had a one night stand. We don’t know who it is but he told us that the one night stand is pregnant.” Robin’s whole world halted in that moment, she’s frozen sitting on the bed with her hand on her heavily beating heart. Her whole life just literally stopped but she still feels herself tearing up. As she sits there she’s trying to make sense of all of what she just heard. She can’t believe it, Barney impregnated some one night stand? Her life went from bad to awful in just a minute.

“Robin, Robin are you there?” Lily asks shouting and trying to see if Robin didn’t hang up over what she just told her.

“Yeah, I’m here.” She takes her hand off her chest but she’s crying more now. The thought that Barney’s going to be a father made her feel... absolutely numb.

“So, yeah he told us that the girl is pregnant. She’s a month along, so Barney’s going to be a dad.” Robin’s life just got even more complicated, just when she thought she was over Barney and the divorce this news suddenly makes her remember it.

“Wow, I’m shocked.” Is all she can say. How could she say anything else when she doesn’t know what to say. She feels a million different things right now and one of them is numb.

She feels like she lost everything and gained nothing. She losses her marriage, the love of her life, her friends who are family to her and now the feeling of that loss, the other loss. Her infertility comes back to remind her that she never could have been able to give Barney a child. That is one of the problems, one of many that started to unravel their marriage. She thinks now, what the hell was the point of their marriage at all? If he just wanted to be a father all this time. She’s lost, not just the man she still loves but also the possibility of one day maybe being with him again and giving him the child she knows he wanted the whole time they were married.

This news just crushed her.

“I, um need to go talk to you soon.” She hangs up right then not wanting for Lily to hear her start to bawl over the phone. She couldn’t hold back on her emotions over this news anymore so she had to hang up even though it’s been a while since she and Lily talked.

The moment her whole world came crashing down around her, in that moment everything in her life froze. When, she found out about Barney getting someone pregnant the instinct of her hand brushed over her thigh to lay on her empty stomach reminding her just how devastating it was for her to know that she couldn’t give Barney the child he secretly did want. Her empty womb felt even more emptier as she sat bawling over this life changing news.

It had taken her months to stop thinking about Barney and this one night stand he got pregnant and the horrible mistake she made by letting him go, the divorce and the fact that she could never get pregnant and give the man she loves a child, but some other woman could. In the months after learning this shocking news, Robin’s life started to falter. Her work suffered, she started to drink more (she had stopped drinking a year ago), she started to go out late at night going to clubs, or parties, or any night activity that was around in London. She started to sleep with strangers, not caring at all that her life has turned into the worst nightmare she’s ever been in, in her life. The man she still loves is moving on with his life, becoming a father, and she is stuck not knowing what to do. When, her boss finally tells her to take a break (she almost got fired for the drinking and not taking her job seriously), she decided to go see her mother and family in Canada. This is where she had gotten the phone call to come to Tracy and Ted’s wedding. Tracy, pleaded with her to come, she said she had to think about it but in the end she decided to go after talking to her mother about what was going on with her and her life.

When, Barney looked at her at the wedding she knew in that moment that this man, she is going to love him for the rest of her life. And, then she smiles back and nods her head because he’s a dad, the thought broke her heart all over again. Later, at the reception he comes up to her and asks her to dance.

“Would you like to dance?” He asks smiling hoping that she takes his nice kind offer of a friendly dance with her ex husband. She thought about it for a second but ultimately she takes his hand and they go to the dance floor. It is after everyone had ate their dinner meals, it was quiet for a while during that time but then people started to go out to the dance floor again to dance so Barney had looked over at her and knew that he wanted to share a dance with her. After, their little looks earlier at the ceremony they both couldn’t stop thinking about it, they couldn’t pretend that there isn’t still something there between them.

“So, how’s everything with you?” Barney asks, they had just started to dance to the soft music playing, his arm is around her waist and the other on her shoulder to keep a little bit of a distance between them. And her arm was around his back and the other on his neck, well by his neck and shoulder. He genuinely wants to know how she’s been because they hadn’t talked in three years. But, she knows about Ellie and the fact that he had gotten a woman pregnant. He had kept the woman’s name a secret all this time, not once had he mentioned her by her actual name, it was always number 31 but nobody asked what the woman’s name was and it never got brought up, the gang did ask him at first who the woman was but he always referred to her as 31 not by her real name.

While, Barney became a parent and had been seeing someone nobody knew about. Robin was trying to get her life back to normal, as normal as she could get it. She really did want to see her friends, it’s been a long time since she was around them, she feels like an outsider again because of where everyone else is in their lives and where she is. She was heartbroken for months after finding out that Barney was going to be a dad. How can she explain how the news that he was going to be a father had tore her apart? She was a mess, for months and is just now getting out of it after seeing her mom.

“I’m okay, I had taken a leave from work. So, coming here is kind of like a vacation.” She has been in Vancouver this whole time, the last three months. She really has been a wreck and the moment he asks her how she’s been she starts to tense up.

“Oh, why did you stop working?” He wonders why she had stopped working, what has she been up to since they split? She looks a little serious.

“Things in my life kind of unraveled for the last year so things happened that caused me to not focus on work so I kind of almost got fired. But, my boss told me to take a break, I’ve been in Vancouver for the last three months.” All the drinking, partying and sleeping around was her downfall, her boss was going to fire her but she begged him to not fire her so he gave her the time off that she so desperately wanted and needed. Seeing her mom helped her clear her head and get her life back to normal.

Barney had Ellie around the time she decided to go visit her mom, she was just born when she had that final meltdown. In February, she was devastated over him becoming a father so the last straw was her getting so drunk that she didn’t even go into work that following morning. She was a mess, so she pleaded with her boss to not fire her and he didn’t, he gave her sometime off. She had a lot of vacation days saved so she decided to go to Vancouver and that’s where she’s been these few months.

“What has been going on with you? Why were you unraveling?” He wants to know, he still cares about her. She’s still important to him no matter what happens between them.

“I, well... why didn’t you tell me that you were going to be a father? And why did I have to hear it from Lily?” Is that why she hasn’t called him at all in the last couple of months after Ellie was born? Is that why he received many drunken phone calls at many times of the day and night in the last 10 months? Wow this was not what he expected to hear when seeing Robin again. He really did think that she was happy and was living a fulfilling life but now he finds out that she hasn’t been as happy as he thought.

“Can we go somewhere quiet and private?” He asks wanting to tell her this very personal thing that he was so scared to tell her about so she had to learn it from Lily.

“Yeah.” She says and nods her head. He takes her hand and leads her outside. It’s April so it’s not too bad with the weather. He takes her to a secured place outside where nobody’s around and it’s quiet.

“I couldn’t tell you.” He first says as soon as they knew that they were alone and wouldn’t be interrupted.

“Why not?” She was so angry with him for months after hearing this news, she wasn’t just sad or devastated she was angry with him for not having the guts to tell her that he’s going to be a father himself. She was devastated then mad with him that’s why she started drinking again.

“Because, I knew this was the most personal thing to talk about with anyone but with you, you have been the most important person in my life and I thought if I told you you would never talk to me again. So, I really didn’t want to tell anyone but I did when I was at Robots Vs. Wrestlers. I didn’t know how to tell you, it came as a shock to me and I didn’t know what you would say or do when I told you that I got someone pregnant.” She’s starting to cry, this was not what she wanted to happen when seeing him again or when she decided to come to this wedding. This is why she didn’t really want to come today.

“I was devastated when I heard that you knocked up some unknown woman. How do you think I would have responded to the news that my ex husband impregnated some woman he doesn’t even know?” This is when he had to finally confess what he’s been holding back from all these months. Robin is going to be the first to know who the mother of his daughter is.

“She isn’t an unknown woman. Ellie’s mother is Shannon.” The look on Robin’s face went from a mad one to a confused one in a second flat.

“W-what?” Her life just went from completely devastated to shocked. Is this true? Ellie’s mother is Shannon? His ex, the woman who dumped him and ran off with some other guy? The guy who Barney got revenge on.

“Ellie’s mother is Shannon.” He finally admits after all these months, but it’s been three years seeing Shannon, they had been having this on and off again relationship for the past three years. Barney was shocked that Shannon got pregnant but then once the shock wore off he was quite happy about that. They had fallen back in love all these years later, after he forgave her for cheating, the lying, and dumping him so horribly that it took him years to get over it. It took falling in love with Robin to finally move on from the past and her. But, three years ago he had ran into her again, they had caught up on each other’s lives and that conversation led to them having a friendship. Barney has gotten to know Shannon’s son, he’s a teenager now and Barney gets along with him really well. They started to hang out more, since his friends were all busy doing their own things and Robin was traveling, Barney had no one in the city anymore to talk to or hang out with. So, the more he hung around Shannon he remembered how good they once were together, they had started to reminisce about their younger days then one thing led to the next and soon enough they were sleeping together. 

It, took a long time for Barney to move on and get over Robin and the divorce but once Shannon came back into his life and then found out that she was pregnant, he started to move on from Robin and has been happy, Shannon reminded him that she was once a big part of his life and he loved her, they loved each other once. So, he moved on officially from Robin two years ago, he still cared about Robin but his life had become happy again after being miserable once the divorce was official.

“Shannon? The woman who dumped you for the guy you got revenge on? The woman who broke you, so much so that you turned into the suit wearing womanizer when we met? Ellie’s mother is your ex girlfriend?” She’s shocked, mad, emotional, confused, completely heartbroken even more now that she knows that his daughter’s mother is not an unknown woman or number but his ex. She’s mad, this was not what she expected to hear after all this time apart.

Shannon, isn’t his ex anymore. She’s his girlfriend again and the mother of his daughter. He wasn’t trying to hide the life he has now, he was trying to keep this from Robin because he cared about what she might say once she learned that he has moved on. If he knew how upset she was about hearing the news that he’s going to be a father, he would have told her exactly what has been going on in his life more sooner. And, if he knew that Robin still loved him (that’s why she’s been so sad and miserable after learning that he got a woman pregnant) he wouldn’t have moved on with Shannon. The divorce killed him, Shannon helped him get over losing the love of his life, that devastated him for years. Moving on with Shannon was the only way to move on from being heartbroken over losing Robin.

“Shannon, isn’t my ex anymore. She’s my girlfriend, we started...” well, how is he going to explain this? “We had run into each other three years ago. We started talking again, since no one was around anymore I was the only one here in the city. I was alone, still sad over us divorcing and I was still out of work. My life was so depressing, so when I ran into Shannon again after all these years we started talking and became friends, we weren’t even friends before we dated when we were younger so we started up a friendship, it was friendly at first but then the more we saw each other the more we realized that there were still feelings there. So, we started to date. I thought I couldn’t do another relationship again after our relationship failed. But, we both confined in each other, she knew the real me before I even met you, so she knew who I truly am. So we bonded over the past, and soon enough we were sleeping together. It took a year to move on from the divorce being final, and two years for me to move on from thinking about you all the time. I became broken again, I was drinking a lot, sleeping around and not happy at all. So, Shannon was something I didn’t know I needed until we started dating. The, news that she was pregnant was shocking to me, to her too. But, after the shock wore off we were both happy to become parents.” She’s absolutely heartbroken, this devastated her more than when their divorce was official, more than when she had to find out from Lily that Barney got some unknown woman pregnant. This hurt more than anything ever did. Shannon, the one person she knew that Barney had been deeply in love with once, is the one person in this whole world to give him what she couldn’t. And, after knowing that he impregnated some woman he didn’t know, she finds out that the mother of his daughter is Shannon.

She, doesn’t know what to say or do. So she starts bawling and then hits him in the chest and pushes him up against the wall that’s behind him.

“How, could you? Everyone made me think that you knocked up some random woman, they called her 31. And, now I find out that Ellie’s mother is Shannon. I came to this wedding so I can try to find some closure on us, but then I realized as we were dancing that I still love you. This just changes everything even more for me.” He’s shocked, she still has feelings for him? She still loves him? After four years apart, after all the heartbreak he felt once their divorce was official. After all this time she’s still in love with him.

“Nobody knew about Shannon, I kept it a secret because I didn’t want you to know that I had moved on. If I knew how you felt I wouldn’t have had a relationship again with Shannon at all. I would have told you that I still loved you too, but you never told me how you felt so I officially moved on with my life.” She wants to punch him in his face, she’s so mad right now she doesn’t know what to do.

“Well, it’s too late for any rekindling.” She starts to walk away when he shouts at her.

“Robin, wait. If I knew there was any inkling that we still had a chance to be together we would be together, in fact we wouldn’t be divorced. We would be together like I planned on. But, you are the one who wanted out of our marriage, I didn’t want that. I gave you the out to make you happy because it seemed you didn’t love me anymore. Even though it killed me to give you the divorce, I was heartbroken for a long time after we split. I knew I had to give you what you wanted to make you happy. Everything I tried to do since we met has been trying to make you happy but then you suddenly ask me for an out and I sadly took it because I wanted you to be happy. And, now you’re saying you’re still in love with me. I don’t get it, you are so confusing why didn’t you say anything I don’t know a year or two ago?” He wants to be mad at her but he’s more emotional due to learning how she still feels.

“I was miserable, I was alone, sad, lonely and once our divorce was final I started drinking and like you sleeping around, then that stopped two years ago. When, Lily called me and told me that you had gotten some woman pregnant I was heartbroken all over again. I was trying to move on from you, from the divorce but then I heard this news and it crushed me. I started to drink again, stayed out late partying, stopped caring about my job, that’s the reason why my boss wanted me to take this break. I was losing control, this news devastated me. So, after my boss told me to take a vacation I decided to go home to Vancouver to see my mom. It was there where I told her that you knocked up some unknown woman. When, Tracy called me to come to the wedding I didn’t want to but then I decided to come because I realized I missed everyone, and I missed you. I wasn’t going to tell you how I still feel at first but then I thought about you looking at me at the ceremony and I realized that I still loved you. I am still in love with you. But, learning that you have a relationship and are a father and the mother of your daughter is the woman you once loved. I don’t know what to say anymore. You seem to have moved on and I really did lose any possibility of us being together again. You have family, do you know how devastating that is when you learn that the love of your life has moved on with his life? With his ex, who is now not your ex anymore? It’s not just devastating it’s life changing.” That was the final thing she said, she was going to go back inside but she had ran the other way, passed Barney (who had moved from the spot by the wall after she hit him) in tears because she just lost everything she had hoped to get back.

Barney, is left there crying. He wanted to tell her that he still loved her too. But, he didn’t get to and now he doesn’t think she will ever talk to him again. Truth is, he is with Shannon but they had just got into a fight before he came to the wedding today, so he really doesn’t know what’s going to happen because Shannon wasn’t happy about him going to this wedding where all his friends would be and would probably see Robin. Shannon knows everything about his relationship with Robin, she seemed a little jealous earlier before he left to come to this wedding, she knows how much Robin still matters to him. He does still love Robin but she is right, he has a family it does change everything that could have been fixed between him and Robin. Now he doesn’t think she’s ever going to talk to him again not after what she just learned.

“Barney, I’ve been looking for you. Where have you been we’re about to cut the cake?” Lily asks, it was then that he brushed a hand over his wet face, he has been crying for a few minutes now watching as Robin walked away from him and their conversation. She was so mad, he knew Robin would react that way that’s why he didn’t tell her that he had gotten Shannon pregnant and that they have been seeing each other the last three years. If he knew what she was feeling or even called him at all in the last three and a half years then they would have been together right now, there would not be any reunion with Shannon, there would be a reunion with Robin the woman he still loves, his true love. But everything did change and he can’t change that, he wishes he can go back to the year before she took that correspondent job, they were still happy acting like newlyweds even two years into marriage, they were so happy and then everyone changed when she took that correspondent job. It ruined their happiness and now this news of possibly rekindling their relationship.

“Right here, I’ll be right there.” He says trying not to show her that he’s been crying.

“What’s the matter, why do you look so sad?” He doesn’t want to tell her what just happened with Robin so he just says.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it. Let’s go inside this is a big moment for the happy couple.” He says smiling lightly, he remembers this part of his own wedding it really was the best moment of his wedding and one of his fondest memories. He and Robin had cake all over their faces when they cut their cake, he had licked all the cream off her face then kissed her nose. The cake cutting started a little food fight between them but it was all in good fun. Did he just lose any possibility of being with Robin again? He’s once again sad that she walked away. She’s always leaving him, she is the only one who can make him lose his mind and his heart all because she is the only one who has his heart and that never went away, it sticks with him all the time he has not stopped loving her or wanting to be with her. But things changed and that is even more sadder because they can’t seem to get that timing right.


	2. The Way Things Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter continues where chapter 1 ended. Barney and Robin talk, it’s a big important conversation for them and a lot of things are said so there’s some yelling, they fight about everything that has happened before and after they divorced. 
> 
> I wanted to get what was needed out early so the story can move forward. Robin will be a big part of Barney’s life throughout this story, there will be some mild cursing and later some intense sex so I’m putting this in tags so you’ll know for future reference. This will be sad for a while but it’s an overall happy story. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. The titles of these chapters will have the word THE in the beginning of the titles.

“So, where’s Robin?” Lily asks wanting to know where Robin went to. She hadn’t seen her since the ceremony and that was almost two hours ago. Lily had seen Barney and Robin share a dance together earlier and then they disappeared somewhere she doesn’t know where. But since she found Barney outside she guesses that he was with Robin.

“I’m not sure.” He says looking off into the distance in front of him. He sees Ted and Tracy dancing, all happy and married. He remembers how happy he was at his own wedding. He remembers dancing with Robin so closely and intimately feeling relieved that they finally did it. They finally got married and both felt incredibly happy at that moment during their first dance as husband and wife. And, now he thinks she is never going to talk to him again, but he’s pretty sure where she went but isn’t going to say anything.

Lily, looks at him and raises an eyebrow trying to see if he knows more than what he’s saying. But, nothing. He gives nothing much, he just stares off in front of him looking sad. He’s clearly hiding something but she doesn’t know what. She decides to drop this for now but she’s very suspicious and knows something is up with Barney and probably Robin since she isn’t here anymore.

‘Ellie, needs you Barney come home’ a text from Shannon says a half hour later.

He knows it’s a desperate plea to get him to come home but the wedding isn’t over yet and he’s not close to Shannon’s apartment. He and Shannon still live in different places, she lives downtown in her apartment and he still lives in his. They had talked about living together and it looked like their relationship was heading in that direction, but now Robin’s back and she knows about Shannon and Ellie so he and Shannon probably won’t be talking about living together anytime soon.

Instead of going to see Ellie he goes and tries to look for Robin once the reception was over. She hadn’t come back for the rest of it and everyone had wondered where she went. Barney had to make up excuses and say he doesn’t know where Robin went to but he thinks he knows...

“I knew you were here.” After leaving the reception, Barney goes looking for Robin. He had to brush off everyone asking where Robin is before leaving. He said a final congratulations to the happy couple then leaves without saying anything else or having people keep asking him where Robin is. With everyone asking where she is, he had to go look for her and the first place he goes to is their spot.

“Well, where else would I be?” She says turning around. It’s really late at night, there is nobody around and the building is locked up for the night. The only one here is the night security guard. Barney knows the guard personally because he gave him permission to use the roof to propose to Robin seven years ago. The guard had let him inside the building after a few minutes of knocking on the glass doors.

She looks like she’s been crying. God, how can he be so stupid not to see that this situation would be this devastating for her. This is why he kept this secret from her. He knew she would take this badly and now that she does know he knows just how upsetting this is for her and now him too.

“Look, I’m going to say this thing I have to say and then you can talk but you need to let me get this out, because this is important.” He pauses and sighs taking a deep breath then continues. “When, we divorced I was devastated, for a long time. I had gone back to my old ways again. Sleeping around, running plays. I was drinking, staying out late every night for a year I was miserable because when our divorce was final I was in pain. Deeply hurting over it, over you. I had missed you terribly so I tried everything I could to forget you, forget us. But, the more I tried to distract from being heartbroken the more I became broken again. I became that broken man, the one I was before we got back together. I was crying a lot when I was home by myself at night because I missed you so much. Every time I looked around the apartment I had reminded myself that you had lived there. Every single thing in that apartment reminded me of you. So I had to get out of there because staying in that apartment had made me more miserable. So, the only way to stop the pain of the divorce was to go out and try to be the guy I was before I proposed. But, then a year after the divorce was final, I had ran into Shannon again. We had started talking and started up a friendship, that friendship led to us sleeping together. We had reminisced about our younger days, I even met her son. So, one thing led to the next and soon enough we were dating. I tried everything to move on and forget about you but I had become so depressed that I had gone out drinking the night before the divorce was final and then that morning I ran into Shannon. Shannon helped me move on from how devastated and depressed I was over our marriage ending. The memories of the past with Shannon had brought us to an understanding. She apologized for the way she treated me before and after we broke up and I apologized for the way I handled our reunion the year we met. If you remember the whole tape debacle years ago, you remember that I had slept with her out of revenge for the way she broke up with me. We talked and it helped us truly move on from the past. As we started to see each other more, because I was the only one here in the city. We remembered how good we once were together. We started sleeping together and then we started dating. We both weren’t expecting her to get pregnant but she did. Truthfully, we have both been happy being parents. But, there was nothing, absolutely nothing more devastating than losing you. I wasn’t as devastated by Shannon dumping me as I was when you asked me for an out of our marriage.” He’s really trying hard not to cry and get emotional over this because it’s important that he says this without crying but he’s finding it hard to not get emotional as he talks because his voice starts to crack and he swallows hard when he gets to that last part of what he just said, the part about their divorce.

She’s crying too, she hasn’t stopped crying for almost two hours now. When she left the wedding and Barney she had wanted to go home, then she realized she doesn’t have a home here in New York to go to anymore. She almost went to the apartment, to his apartment that she still has a key to. But decided to come to the second place that makes her feel comfortable and lets her think. This is the only place in the city where she could go to stop, think and figure things out. She wondered how he found her so quickly.

“Do you know how upsetting it is to find out that you had moved on? Just like you, I had tried desperately to move on but when I found out that you were going to be a father. That... news, made me feel numb. I had tried to move on but once I learned this news it destroyed me, I was a complete mess that’s why I almost got fired. For thirteen months I was a wreck, I started to drink again after I stopped a year earlier. I started to stay out late, partying with strangers and even sleeping with them. I had started to not care about my job because the one thing in my life that I truly do care about had moved on. I had a huge meltdown in February when Ellie was born because I realized that I could have never given you what you secretly wanted. We even fought over this subject, then out of nowhere you have the baby I was thinking about having with you.” What? She was thinking of having a baby with him this is shocking news to him because she had never told him this.

“What? You wanted to have a baby with me?” He is in shock, this is why they’re divorced now. She had not once in three years of marriage told him that she wanted a baby.

“I was thinking about it yes. But my job was incredibly hard, it was hectic and crazy. It had taken over my whole life, one minute I was married and the next I wasn’t that’s how fast everything went for me. I had thought about kids, actually I thought about it a lot. More than you think I just never had the right time to tell you. We were always fighting towards the end. My job was hectic and you were unhappy. I thought by giving you that out it would make you happy. I realized I was being selfish, letting you tag along with me on assignments and not seeing how unhappy you were. When I asked you for that out I really thought it would make us both happy, but it made me nothing but miserable. For three years I drowned my sorrows in alcohol and work, then it was alcohol and men. I had tried so hard to forget you, to move on. But, I couldn’t because I still loved you. When you had Ellie I was reminded of my infertility so I had a meltdown. That’s when my boss called me so angry with my behavior. He almost fired me but I pleaded with him to let me keep my job. It was the only thing I had left. I lost everything, my friends, my ability to produce children, my marriage so it was the only thing I had left. He gave me a second chance to fix my life. He gave me sometime off, I had a lot of time to think about things in the last three months so I decided to go visit my mother. I told her that you had knocked up some girl, she allowed me to talk and cry on her shoulder because I didn’t let myself deal with the fact that you’re a father. When, Tracy called me to come to the wedding I really didn’t want to but my mother made me realize that all of my breakdowns in the last year and the sadness from the divorce, she made me realize that I was having those feelings because I still love you.” That was everything, everything she felt in the last year but also everything she felt for the last four years all of it came out now and it was to Barney no less.

He’s shocked, this was not at all what he expected to hear from her once he saw her again. He really did think she was happy and had moved on but now that he knows this...

“If I knew how you felt I would have told you how I still felt. I haven’t stopped loving you, I just tried to get my life together because not only did I lose my job I lost you. I lost my best friend. I was slowly dying each day before running into Shannon again. She really did help me move on but I had never stopped thinking about you or loving you. I just thought you had moved on, so I moved on and found happiness again. But, it wasn’t easy to forget at first. Being with Shannon was nothing like it was when we were young, it was different. More mature, we had things in common and liked each other. I was slowly becoming myself again and not the sad, depressed, lonely, miserable, heartbroken person I was after we split. We had grown a lot in the years since we dated and it really was a fresh start to moving on with my life. I never felt more alone in my life than before reuniting with Shannon but losing you was absolutely the most painful thing I ever experienced. If you told me that you were thinking about having kids, I would have been on board with that because you’re right I had been thinking of kids, in the general sense. I meant what I told you during our wedding weekend, you really were enough for me. All I ever wanted was to be with you, I truly didn’t think about having kids until we thought you were pregnant, when you found out about your infertility. But, I knew that being with you was the only thing that makes me happy, so I proposed truly giving you what I knew you wanted... me. I gave you my heart but you crushed it.” He’s getting more and more overcome with emotions now. This was so hard to get through, both of them are sobbing.

“I messed up, okay? I really fucking messed up. But, if you did want kids why did you marry me?” Of course she knew the answer already she just wants him to tell her what he held back from her while they were married.

“Again, because I loved you. More than kids, more than anything. But you broke my heart, do you understand how hard it was for me to admit to myself that I had to give up my single life because the only thing that makes me happy is you? I had to put any idea of kids out of my mind because you never wanted them. You came first, you always came first for me. Everything else came after you including myself. I had been selfless doing things for you but you never appreciated the things I did. I gave up a lot of things to make you happy but you didn’t believe me. You didn’t believe in us, in our relationship. Do I need to remind you that you were about to run off on our wedding day with my best friend? I did everything for you but you never appreciated it. I gave up wanting kids because you didn’t want them, I gave up my single life because sure I wasn’t happy being single anymore but I was so in love with you that I couldn’t pretend that being without you makes me happy. I gave up our marriage because I thought it would make you happy. Everything I do in my life is for you. Or was for you. Now it’s for my daughter. I wanted to give you the best life ever but you didn’t seem to want me or that so I gave up. I lost myself, for a while but being with Shannon again and having our daughter it made me feel wanted, and needed and appreciated. You never needed me, I guess I was right that you really are your own daddy.” At that moment both of them freeze, and just stare at each other. Shocked at what they both admitted to each other. It truly stopped them and made them realize just how much they gave up to make the other one happy. 

“I apologized over and over about the situation with Ted. I said I was sorry and I meant it. I loved you, only you. For a very long time I wanted you, only you but I didn’t think you would ever want to commit to me.” She stops there and he says.

“I did commit to you. In every possible way, I gave you my heart on that ring that used be on your finger. I knew you wanted a commitment and I gave that to you but you didn’t believe me. I tried to be the best boyfriend, the best fiancé, the best husband, the best friend. But all you did was complain, each and every fight we had was you complaining about me. I never ever was good enough for you even when I tried to be. If you believed in me, in our relationship more than you would have talked to me about what you were thinking when we were married. I’m not Ted, I don’t think I know what’s on your mind before you do. I am Barney, the man who loved you for who you are, in every way. But, talking about important emotional things sure wasn’t our strong suits but it was important. When we got married that was it for me, I fully committed wholeheartedly to you and tried my best to be the husband you deserve but I was never deserving.” He was about to walk away when she calls out to him.

“You were.” He pauses and turns back to face her. “You were deserving, you were everything I needed and wanted in life. I loved you more than anyone. I gave you my heart when you proposed, I said yes because you committed. When you proposed I was an emotional mess because of the play but was incredibly happy in that moment. I didn’t want marriage, I didn’t want a commitment but you changed my mind. I had imaged my life with you. I pictured us growing old together and yes having kids someday. You are the love of my life, I wanted to be with you forever that’s why I married you. I have never loved anyone more than you. I do appreciate the things you did for me. I wouldn’t be here, in the US if it wasn’t for you. You helped me get a job to stay in the country, you helped me become a dual citizen. You were there for me when I gave up my dogs. You were there for me in times when I needed a friend who understands and a shoulder to cry on. You are the only person in my life who understands me for who I am, you accepted me. I guess now that you said something, I realize that I was scared to be loved by you so I took you for granted. I took our entire relationship for granted and I’m truly with all my heart sorry for that.” She finally admits to him and to herself that after all these years of knowing and loving him. That she had taken his real love and affection for her for granted that is why she didn’t believe in him and them more.

He had no idea that she felt this way. All these years, being friends, being lovers and falling in love. She not once told him that she believes in their relationship until now. This conversation just turned once again for them.

“You really were all I needed. I might be independent and strong and not show that I needed you. But I did, because you made me happy. You truly are the only person in my life to ever make me feel wanted and appreciated and I took that for granted. I ruined my happiness by not admitting that I wasn’t strong enough to admit that I needed you. Talking to you was always the best part of my day, then that all ended when we divorced. I not only lost my husband I lost my best friend too. I’ve always been scared to show you my weaknesses that’s why I tried to be the strong woman you normally saw me as. But, I wasn’t. I was weak when I was around you, whenever we were together you made me do things and feel things that I wouldn’t normally feel or do, I hung out with you the most out of our group. I allowed you to see the real me and that terrified me. I let my guard down because I felt so comfortable, so myself around you. When we first met I wasn’t very open about things but then I started to trust you, I trusted in your friendship, in your caring, in your support. You supported me the most and I was selfish not seeing how good you were to me. I’m sorry for what happened between us before we split up. I didn’t want the divorce but didn’t know how to fix what was happening in our relationship. I let things break between us until it all smashed into pieces.” For the first time in four years they both feel like the divorce wasn’t either of their fault. It was exactly what happened when they dated before. They let things bubble to the surface until those bubbles pop and neither knew how to fix the problems they were having so they divorced.

“I didn’t want the divorce either. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Ellie or the fact that I have a relationship with Shannon. I just didn’t know how to tell you. If you just called me or shown up at my door I would have told you sooner but you never called so that allowed me to move on. I do love you, I always will but things have changed. I don’t know what you want but I don’t think there’s going to be another chance for us.” He says this because he knows she loves him and still wants to be with him she said so before at the wedding and right now during this conversation.

“I was hoping to be with you, but you’re right. We just might really be over.” And that’s when she bursts into tears again.

He walks over to her and wraps his arms around her hugging her because they just admitted that they love each other but can’t be together. It’s even more complicated now that he’s with Shannon.


	3. We’re Still Friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s a little throw back in this chapter from the show, the scene where Robin tells Barney she’s pregnant in season 7. This story will contain canon and non canon things, including flashbacks from the show and in non canon. It will also have flashbacks to when Barney reunited with Shannon. Robin as I said will be a big part of Barney’s life throughout the story and it’s in a big way. Stay tuned, this story is just beginning.

“Are you going to be okay?” He asks still hugging her.

They have been hugging for ten minutes now not wanting to let go of each other yet. He whispers to her if she’s going to be okay now that she knows about Shannon and Ellie. This news was shocking, devastatingly shocking he knows that this is emotional for her.

“Yeah. You know me. I power through whatever I’m feeling and try to move on.” They break their embrace and pull apart smiling lightly hoping that this doesn’t ruin their friendship more than it already was.

“Are we still friends?” He asks hoping that they find a way to be friends again like they were after they broke up the first time.

She remembers him saying this same thing on that Thanksgiving she thought she was pregnant with his baby. This night was already emotional, she can’t keep thinking of the past. She needs to move on, and at least savage their friendship even though that went out the window a long time ago.

“Always. You’re my best friend, I had missed that when I was traveling. You always knew how to make me feel good, comfortable and talk me down from the ledge whenever I needed it. That was missing when we were married and I desperately needed that after we divorced. I don’t want this situation to be more weirder between us... I mean you’re a dad now, that’s quite unbelievable but amazing to see how much you changed.” Ever since he became a dad, he’s been more mature and seems happy. Fatherhood has made him soft, that’s part of the reason she smiled at him during the ceremony the fact that he’s happy being a father. It still hurt that she’s not that baby girls mother but she is genuinely happy that he found some happiness again.

“I haven’t changed that much. I just grew, I’m still Barney Stinson just the newer version of him.” She smiles again at this, he is the only person who can make her laugh even in hard times. She really did miss him, it’s been a hell of four years without him by her side. She wishes she could go back to when things were perfect between them when they were married, those first two years were the happiest in her life, but somewhere between the end of the second year and third year of marriage something happened to break them. Her taking the correspondent job, him not finding a job after leaving GNB, them never seeming to be on the same page, fighting all the time because she was either missing things like anniversaries or not being attentive towards him and their relationship. The happiness of those first two years of marriage collapsed and resulted in him reuniting with Shannon and his daughter. Everything really has changed and she lost the man she loves. Being friends was always something that helped pull her back to reality in the past, and now she’s facing her reality as she looks at him and tries to smile the best she could.

“Everything is just so fresh, still but I will be fine.” She says smiling and then breaking the embrace they are in.

“So, where are you staying while you’re here in the city?” He asks a couple of minutes later after the awkwardness of this situation dies down. He wants to know where she’s staying since he doesn’t know if she found a place to live since she’s been traveling and hadn’t lived in New York for three years now. She had moved out but only to a hotel after they split and never gave back her key. She just took more jobs so she traveled a lot and never got a chance to come back to New York to look for a new place.

“Not sure, I was going to get a hotel room for the night then look for a place tomorrow.” She says, she had wanted to get a hotel room before coming to the wedding but didn’t have time to since she got into New York late and only had an hour to get to the ceremony.

“Well, you can stay at the apartment if you like? Ellie’s with Shannon tonight, I’m by myself until Sunday. What do you say?” He wants her to stay with him, he really did miss her plus the apartment is still very much her home too it’s like she’s been gone for four years and just returned home...

“I guess. You know I do still have my key.” She never gave it back because she never came back home she didn’t have the heart to give it back or face him after they split. She took another year to really think about going back home, she moved out almost a year later but never returned the key or left it there when she left the apartment when she moved out.

“I didn’t know that but that’s good right?” He really didn’t, he forgot that she didn’t return her key when she moved out she just kept it and continued to travel.

“Yeah, I guess it’s some kind of sign.” She says jokingly, they both laugh and walk towards the door to the roof.

They take a cab back to the apartment and continued to talk on the way there, laughing and smiling just like old times. After all the sadness and tension it was good to smile and laugh it took all the tension away, it was what was needed after the night they just had.

“So, where would you like to sleep tonight?” He asks a half hour after they had that conversation on the roof, once they got to the apartment.

“I can take the couch. It’s not a problem.” She says not wanting to put him out, this was her home too once but it’s still his home, she no longer lives here.

“I can give you the bed attached to it. I had bought this new sofa two years ago so it pulls out. It has a bed.” She had noticed all the new things in his apartment, this sofa has a pullout bed which his old one didn’t. He also has beige chairs to go along with the new sofa and a new coffee table. But what got her a little emotional is all the baby things he has in the living room. Toys, books on the bookshelf about baby’s and children. Stuffed animals all over the place, there were two on the sofa some on the floor and others in the playpen. There is a rattle that she accidentally sat on when she went to sit on the new sofa. She is reminded that not only does he have a kid, he has changed. Quite a lot, everything in the living room is new or is for his daughter it’s really overwhelming to be in this apartment again and not recognize it.

“Okay, then the sofa is fine, I don’t need the bed.” She says not wanting to argue because it’s late, really late, after 2 am and they’re both tired from the exhausting wedding and then the conversation they had which lasted a whole other hour. It was a really emotional night and both needed to get some sleep.

“Okay.” He says smiling lightly. “Let me go get you a pillow and blanket as you know it does get cold in here at night now.” She knows that he always gets his air conditioning earlier than the other tenants in the building because of his rent control it’s just another perk for sleeping with his landlord.

He leaves her for a few minutes, as he goes to get the things she needs to sleep with, she sits down with a sigh feeling a bit awkward and overwhelmed being in this apartment again. It’s been three years, a lot has changed but she realizes that she hasn’t. Not as much as Barney has, it really sunk in at this moment how out of place she is. She feels like a stranger in her once home, she never felt so uncomfortable being in this apartment.

“So, I didn’t know if you wanted one or two pillows I know you like to sleep with two so I gave you two. And this blanket gets a little warm, so if you get hot just take it off. I hope these are fine for you to sleep tonight.” He says holding the three items for her to sleep with in his arms.

“Yeah, they’re fine.” She remembers this blanket well. She’s the one who bought it but he probably forgot. It was one of the first things she bought for this apartment after they got married. She wanted to spruce up the place with some feminine things. They took their first shopping trip a month after getting married.

“What’s wrong?” He asks noticing her odd expression, she was just staring out in front of her at the big TV in front of her thinking, she seemed to be in a daze when he notices what she’s been doing.

“Nothing, it’s just so odd being here.” She says looking up at him standing next to her with the things she needs for the night still in his hands.

“What’s odd?” He probably knows but he just wants to know if he’s thinking the same thing as she is.

“This apartment, it’s so strange. Everything is so new, it’s like I never lived here.” He knew this is what she was thinking. Things have changed but he still has some things that she had left behind when she moved out which is the blanket he gave her to sleep with tonight. He remembers that this blanket was something she bought right after they got married, they bought it together.

“Yeah, there’s a story behind the new things in here. I even bought a new bed.” He says this because she didn’t know that he had gotten rid of the bed they had bought together right after she moved in, for reasons that nobody knew about until now.

“You bought a new bed, why?” She wonders why he would get rid of a bed that was kind of still new after they divorced.

“I kind of destroyed it. I really was a mess after we divorced and I ripped up the mattress out of sheer rage, I was also kind of drunk when I did it.” Wow, they were both really not taking the divorce well. It took this final act of sadness to get him to finally try to move on from the divorce.

“Seems like we were both not handling the divorce well.” She says matter of factly because it’s true neither were emotionally well after the divorce but it’s good that this is all out there now. All of their emotional baggage is gone and both can now move on from those hard times.

“Yeah. I guess we both now know that the divorce was premature.” They stop there and just stare at each other. This night was a whirlwind of emotions but they know what the other is feeling. The emotion of everything that they learned from this night has been incredibly hard on them. Admitting that they still have feelings for each other after all that time apart wasn’t easy but they both needed to know especially Barney because it took a lot for him to move on from Robin and make a relationship work with Shannon again. The reason that there was hesitation on his part is because he didn’t think he could do another relationship after losing Robin, it was tough, really tough to move on. When, Shannon told him that she was pregnant he didn’t take it as well as she wanted him to. It seems like she was the first one in the relationship to know what she wanted out of it. He wasn’t sure what he wanted but the pregnancy changed his mind. They only been seriously dating for a year along with being parents. She knew he was dragging his feet in their relationship but he had to try to move on even though Robin was still on his mind.

“Do you want me to pull out the bed or do you want to sleep like this?” He asks shaking his head out of what he’s been thinking to ask her if she wants to sleep on the pullout bed in the sofa. He wants to make sure that she’s comfortable sleeping on the couch without taking out the bed from it.

“What?” She says getting out of her daze. God, this is so hard. The memories of their relationship is still very much there for the both of them. She might have tried to move on several times in the past four years but she couldn’t and now she knows why.

“The sofa has a bed as I said, I wanted to know if you want to sleep on the bed instead or on the sofa itself.” In her mind she thinks he’s asking her to sleep in his bed in his bedroom so she takes what he’s actually saying in a weird way.

“Yeah, bed right that uh is fine.” She looks at him with this odd caught off guard look which he finds odd as well.

“I mean, this couch you’re sitting on has a pullout bed, do you want to sleep on that I can pull it out for you or do you want to sleep on the couch without pulling out the couch?” Oh now she knows what he’s asking. She was so caught up in all the new things in his apartment that she missed what he was actually asking her.

“The couch is fine. It’s late I don’t want you to pull the couch apart just for me. I’m good with sleeping on the couch.” Well that settles that awkward moment. 

“Okay, well thanks for letting me stay here. It really is late and I didn’t want to get a hotel this late at night.” She says getting up to fix the couch with the blanket he just gave to her.

“It’s no problem. Like I said, I’m not seeing Ellie till Sunday so it’s more the merrier. Plus you used to live here once, and you still have your key so this place is still as much yours as it is mine.” That’s sweet of him to say. She felt a little weird being here but now she feels comfortable with being in what was her apartment too a few years ago. The key she still has is probably a sign she didn’t know she was aware of having until she remembered that she still has it on her keychains. She couldn’t find a way or the right time to give back the key but she knew she had it all this time.

“I’m a little shocked that you hadn’t moved out from this place yet. What exactly are you and Shannon doing if you’re still living here in the fortress?” Good question, he doesn’t know. They did talk about it recently but there has been no movement for either of them yet. He did ask Shannon if she wants to move in with him so he can be around Ellie, but she said she’s happy with where she lives and doesn’t want to move in with him. He still doesn’t know why she doesn’t but he hadn’t asked her again so the subject was dropped. Now that Robin’s back he doesn’t think there will be any talk about him and Shannon living together.

“We talked about it but she said she’s comfortable with where she lives so I don’t know if there’s going to be anymore talk about this.” He doesn’t know why Shannon is being so against living in his apartment but he doesn’t ask about it anymore.

“It’s late, I should get to bed.” He says changing the subject, this was already an awkward night he doesn’t want to make it more awkward.

“Right. Yeah, I’m exhausted. Goodnight Barney.” She says giving a yawn to show that she is in fact tired. She had been crying, emotional over what she found out today. Between that and the conversation earlier it was one heck of a night for her, she was just tired of everything. But the good thing in all of this is that she still has Barney as her friend and that’s all she can ask for at the moment. Even if she can’t be with him like she wants, she’s glad that he still cares about her to want to be her friend.

“Goodnight, Robin it really is good that you came to the wedding we all did miss you.” He says smiling then walking away towards the bedroom. It’s almost 3 in the morning he really is tired. Between the fight with Shannon earlier yesterday morning and the conversation with Robin it’s all so exhausting, he is tired of explaining to Shannon that he doesn’t have any feelings for Robin anymore and going to the wedding isn’t to see Robin again it was because Ted was getting married and that is important to him. He hadn’t seen his friends in a long time, since he told them all at Robots Vs. Wrestlers that Shannon is pregnant but not actually saying that it was Shannon who is pregnant with his child and not some random number. He is so tired of pretending though, pretending that he’s ever going to stop loving Robin. Pretending that he hasn’t stopped thinking about her in all these years. Pretending that Ellie is Robin’s daughter and not Shannon’s. Pretending to be okay being without Robin, he really is not and that’s the thing here. He still loves Robin, Shannon was right he does still loves her and it’s so hard to pretend that he doesn’t.

As, Barney goes to the bedroom Robin begins to get the couch ready for her to sleep. But, what happened tonight is still on her mind. The blanket that he gave her was a little ugly and tacky at first but she had loved it so they bought it. It was the first thing they ever bought together after getting married.

Flashback 

“What do you think of this blanket?” She asks because she wants his opinion on this blanket she likes and she wants to do this without just getting it because they are going to do things as a team and no longer lone wolfing it. It’s important that they discuss things together before buying or doing anything they don’t want to lose each other, this time they are doing this right and not letting things get blown up which leads to arguments.

“It’s kind of ugly. It has all these colors mixed in, animals and other things why does it need all of these patterns?” The blanket has multiple patterns on it, it’s an afghan, they have these types of patterns it’s how people make them. They are always designed this way but people still buy them.

“It’s an afghan, I used to have one like this in Canada as a kid, it was my grandmothers. Anytime I slept at her house she would always give me this blanket to sleep with when I felt cold at night while sleeping. It looks just like the one my grandma had. I like it, it would only be used when people stay over, we don’t have to display it like my grandmother did on her couch. It would be a nice thing to get to use it when people stay over.” The story about her grandmother did sway Barney into buying it and it didn’t take her begging or more convincing him that they should get it.

“Alright, we can get it.” She smiles and kisses him on the cheek glad that he allowed her to get a blanket that in his opinion is very ugly but it didn’t turn into an argument or fight so that’s good for them.

They only been married for a month, they wanted to go shopping and buy new things for their apartment. The only thing they had bought together was their bed two months ago. So, buying new things for their home was a great opportunity to see what they agree and disagree on to buy. They had already bought a few things before coming upon this blanket, Robin is happy that he didn’t pick a fight with her over a blanket and she’s hoping that the rest of this shopping trip goes as good as it’s been going so far.

End of flashback

So, for their first shopping experience together as a couple they bought items that were either necessary or not necessary to buy and that was the blanket.

For some reason that memory came to her mind as she lays on the new couch. She didn’t want to get new furniture after they got married but that shopping trip did help them make decisions together and not buy things by themselves and they didn’t get into a disagreement or argument over the things they bought. That was a happy time for them, just married and back from their honeymoon it was a good idea to do some shopping together because they hadn’t done that before. Robin wanted the place to look like she lived there too so the blanket wasn’t the only thing she bought that he didn’t like, she had bought a comforter for their bed, sheets, pillows both for the bed and throw pillows for the couch. He also didn’t like the throw pillows because it didn’t go with the couch or the way the living room style was. And, now he has brand new furniture. She never complained about his future because it was comfortable but the fact that he destroyed his bed that once was their bed and changed all of the furniture in the living room gets her to think what if? What if they decided to change the furniture? What if they decided to change the kitchen with new appliances and the countertops that she was thinking of doing? What if they were still married now and Ellie is their daughter? She would be a little older maybe but what if she runs into the living room calling for her saying hi mommy I missed you, if she had just come home from an assignment. What if she was pregnant all those years ago? Maybe Ellie would be their second child. Maybe they wouldn’t be still living in this apartment, they would be living someplace else. What if she never gave him that out? Who knows where they would be right now. She knows he wouldn’t have run into Shannon again and they wouldn’t have Ellie. He would be with her, maybe they would have run into Shannon together and they would be all happy and married, and Shannon would be either okay with it or not be okay but either way she knows that she is the love of Barney’s life and that can’t ever change.

She can’t sleep, what if they were still together and happy right now? Why can’t she just be happy for him and Shannon that they found each other again? She wants to be friends but knows they can’t. They haven’t been just friends in years it really did go out the window when they fell in love. She still loves him, how can she be friends with the man she still loves and wants to be with? How can she pretend to not ache whenever she’s around him or god forbid her seeing him with Shannon and his daughter. Her deepest pain was secretly not giving him a baby, she really did think about it but she just never had the right time to talk to him about it so she didn’t and then everything crumbled. She lost him because she was a coward, a complete coward who let things bubble to the surface which ended their marriage. If she looks back on the last year of their marriage, she realizes now that they aren’t together because of her. She is the one who broke them, she didn’t believe. He was right, she didn’t believe in them, in their relationship, in his love for her. She didn’t believe in him, so she let things crumble and it broke them. He had moved on but she hadn’t and hasn’t yet. She doesn’t think she will ever move on from this regret. The regret that she was too weak to save their marriage. A cowardly selfish weak woman who let the love of her life get away, so far away he found his ex girlfriend to fulfill his broken heart. She really messed up and now she’s alone, sad, regretful, heartbroken. 

As, she lays there she suddenly bursts into tears. Crying over what she lost, this was not supposed to be what happened tonight but it was. She lost him, she can no longer pretend anymore this is her reality now. She didn’t know what she wanted until it was too late.


	4. We Remember The Good Times

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, in this chapter you get some insight into Barney and Shannon’s relationship. I have a little of everything in this, like what Barney is feeling, what Robin is feeling and flashbacks to how things got to where they are in the present. There will be more on Barney and Shannon’s relationship and more with B/R there will be much more flashbacks including ones about Robin and what she was doing for the four years after they split. There is one time where they do sleep together one last time, in future chapters it will get more explicit this is a lighthearted take on their last time together post divorce. It takes place in 2016, there is no Halloween in this story Robin does not go to that one, she is traveling at that time. She doesn’t see Barney or the gang until the wedding so four years. She does come back to see Barney but that didn’t turn out so good for her.
> 
> Anyway, hope you like this chapter it’s longer than the other ones but I wanted to get out what I needed to here.

Robin, tried to fall asleep but the more she cried the more she couldn’t. The quietness of the night has made her remember things. Things she’s tried so hard to stop thinking about. As she wrestled with her tears and sleep she felt uncomfortable being in this apartment again. The memories of this apartment and of being married had made her cry more. She gets up from the couch but because she’s crying and it’s early morning she isn’t aware of what she’s doing or where she’s going. She knows this place so well that even in the dark she knows where she is. She walks from the couch to near the kitchen counter crying and wiping her eyes. As she walks she makes the turn toward what was their bedroom when she lived here. The door is closed but there’s a small crack which means it’s open a little, Barney hadn’t closed it fully when he came in here. She opens the door slowly, the room is dark as well. But she knows her way around the room she continues walking over towards the bed. Barney is fast asleep, snoring a little but completely asleep. She looks down at him after wiping her eyes and trying to control her tears. He is facing her, so facing the door she can see his whole face. She slowly brushes her hand over his lean body which is covered by the blanket. He is sleeping with two pillows just like she was before she had that breakdown. She brushes her hand over his hip and down his legs then takes her hand off him and walks around to what was her side of the bed. She slowly and quietly pulls down the covers on her side carefully without taking them off of Barney. She climbs into the bed and lays down. Barney doesn’t hear her or feel her, she didn’t want to wake him she knows he’s very tired. So, she lays down beside her ex husband then pulls the blanket back up over herself, then closes her eyes. She always found it to be quite comfortable and relaxing laying next to him. It’s kind of soothing, even if they weren’t having sex. She always felt comfortable because he was near her. In the past she didn’t like cuddling but whenever they were intimate in the past she felt it to be quite nice. They didn’t cuddle often, not all the time but after sex they always did, it was their way of relaxing and calming from being worked up from sex. But, because they aren’t clingy they didn’t cuddle if they weren’t in the mood.

She, turns to face him and like she just did a little while ago she brushes her hand over his back then drops it. When she’s comfortable enough she closes her eyes and tries to sleep. It’s almost 5 in the morning now, she really is exhausted so she’s going to try to get some sleep. Having Barney close to her will hopefully allow her to get the must needed rest she needs.

As the morning approached and the sun comes up. Robin’s hand somehow moved from by her face to Barney’s side, it is hanging on the side over his body. When, Barney starts to open his eyes he sees a hand in front of him. He brushes his own hand over his eyes to wake up more but he knows that there is a hand on him which only means that it’s Robin’s hand and at some point during the night she came in here, he doesn’t know why but he still found it comforting to have her close to him again, laying in the same bed together. It might not be their bed anymore the one they bought before they got married. But, he still thinks of it as their bed because he never had sex in this new bed with anyone. He always went or was at Shannon’s place when they were sleeping together and with other women he was either at a hotel or at the woman’s place. He never actually shared this bed with any other woman before. So, it is nice to be this close to her sharing a bed again. He did miss that when she moved out. There was one time right before signing the divorce papers that they hooked up. He remembers the emotions of that time, the last time they ever saw each other. They slept together then she left without writing a note or texting him the next morning. Nothing, not even a call. She went off to another assignment leaving him like he was nothing. Like the night meant nothing. But, neither of them had stopped thinking or loving each other in fact that night together made Robin realize how much it did mean something to her. Anytime they were together meant something to her rather it was in an intimate kind of way or friendly sort of way or even a relationship way. Being with Barney in any sort of way always meant something to her. She even cried while on the plane the next day.

FLASHBACK (2016)

“We shouldn’t. I’m sorry I kissed you.” She says pulling away from kissing him.

They are sitting in the living room, it is weeks after they announced to their friends that they’re getting a divorce, well they didn’t say getting they said they are divorced. But, they didn’t even sign the papers yet, she took another month away from him and he couldn’t bring himself to sign the papers. So, neither had signed the divorce papers yet until now. They had talked about signing them together once Robin came back home, she came back today from her latest trip. So, they talked briefly before Barney took out his papers.

“I never signed these, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. So, if you really want this then I will sign them. If you don’t tell me now and I will rip them up because I still love you.” He says making one last plea of hope that she doesn’t want to go through with this divorce.

“I’ve been very busy. So busy that I didn’t sign them either but what has changed in the last two months? I’m still traveling and I’m not going to give that up. And you’re still out of work. We were barely together in the last few months. I don’t see us working if we’re still in the same places in our lives.” She says feeling her heart break even more because she doesn’t want to end their marriage either. It’s just been so hectic, busy and being apart is the reason why they decided to divorce. But, they are in the same place as they were two months ago and she doesn’t see them making this work if they’re apart.

“We can try counseling. We can make this work you just don’t want to. If you really do want this then I will sign these right now.” There is a moment of silence between them after he says this again but then she says...

“I don’t know if counseling will help us. I love you but I don’t see us working if we’re apart.” And with that it’s all he needs to know, then he says okay and then lifts his pen in his hand and starts to sign the papers.

“Done. You are now free to do whatever you want.” He says slamming his pen down mad that she doesn’t even want to make their relationship work. She is so stubborn and selfish maybe they couldn’t make it work because she doesn’t want to.

“Barney. You know if there was a way to make this work I would try but I don’t think there is.” Because she doesn’t want to make it work. Obviously, she wants her job more than him.

“Whatever.” He says standing up angry over her attitude about this. He doesn’t want this but he’s doing this to set her free of him. He doesn’t think she cares enough to try that’s why he signed the papers.

“You know I would try to find a way to work this out if I could. But, there is no way around it. My schedule is packed and I will be traveling even more in the next few months. The rest of this year is going to keep me away. You know that, I told you about my assignments after Argentina. Being apart is the reason we’re doing this. We can’t be apart anymore this is the only solution. This way you are free to do what you want without me.” He’s mad, really mad he has his back turned from her because he doesn’t want to look at her right now. She’s being unreasonable that’s why they decided to do this. She doesn’t want him, she wants her job more.

“We are doing this because you’re being unreasonable. You don’t even want to try to find a way to make us work, you’re choosing your job and career over our relationship. When we got married I truly thought you would be less selfish to choose me, choose us over anything else. But once you became a big shot and your career took off, you took off too from our marriage. I thought we were partners, who make decisions together. But all of your decisions in the past year has been made without even talking to me first. You broke that promise so please just go.” He says angrily yelling at her to just leave, he doesn’t want to see her anymore. This is painful, the most painful thing he’s ever been through. Besides her choosing to be with another guy over him. He is done, she can now be free of him holding her back from having the career she always wanted.

“Barney, please calm down. I know you’re mad but can I explain why I’m choosing this over us.” He shakes his head no then turns back around to not face her because looking at her makes him madder.

“Well, I’m going to. I, I have always wanted this kind of career it was always a dream of mine to travel and make something of myself in this competitive world. Being a journalist is the most satisfying but completely hard career to have. I worked my ass off all these years because I truly thought it was the only thing in my life that made me happy. But, then I met you and fell in love with you. I truly, with all my heart love you. And, when you proposed it was so out of the blue that I didn’t see it coming. I was a mess for years because I love you so much that you did come first for me. My career took a backseat to our relationship. I said yes that night because I wanted to be with you more than anything else, more than my career. When, I began this correspondent job I didn’t think it would take up most of my life, but it has. I have been overwhelmed, and exhausted and overworked but the work is worth it. All my struggling to get somewhere in this business has all paid off. I didn’t think it would break our relationship. You even told me you were happy and proud for me. You had always been there for me when I was just starting my career and have seen my career through many different phases, you had helped me find a job to stay in this country. But, sometime between last year and this year being a correspondent became consuming and persistent. It has taken over my life and I didn’t know how to slow down to make our relationship work. I couldn’t begin to know how to make two things work. I never knew how. I never saw myself making two things work and last, but I did try to make our relationship work. I was just really busy and didn’t know how to slow down. I never did want us to get to this point but I don’t think there is any other way. We can’t fix what has been broken for months. We would be apart even more, this is why it needs to be this way. I do love you, you know I always will but this job is going to be more hectic and time consuming so I’m sorry but this is how this has to be.” As she talked he listened but he still thinks she just doesn’t want to try because she doesn’t want to be with him anymore.

“You are saying that you can’t try and fix things between us. But that isn’t true, you just don’t want to...” he starts to get choked up, he had been trying so hard to keep from crying but he’s feeling those tears coming on now. “Fix us, to make it work. You just don’t want me anymore.” That’s not true, she does want him but maybe he’s right.

“No, that isn’t true. I do want you, I want to be with you but this is an overwhelming job and it’s not stopping anytime soon. But, you are right that maybe someway I don’t want to make this work.” He now looks at her directly in her eyes. She realizes now that he was right about her not wanting to try.

“Then, sign the papers and this will finally be over.” He says calmly but the emotions that he was feeling has taken control of his emotions and he begins to cry.

Robin, sits back down on the couch where they were a few minutes ago and picks up the pen he slammed before.

“I really am sorry for all of this, you know that right?” He just nods his head sadly, officially letting the love of his life go free.

“I know, I’m sorry for being so mad the last few months. I just been struggling a lot lately so seeing you have this huge career had made me a little jealous. But, do know that I am proud of where you are now in your career and I want you to be the best at it because you are. I’m not holding you back anymore or holding your career back either. You are free to do what you want and go wherever you want.” He says after he sits back down on the couch.

Robin, finally finishes signing the papers and puts the pen back on the table. She gives a slight sad smile and feels herself overcome with the emotions of this moment. Letting him go wasn’t easy for her but they need to have some space, they are never really together in the same place anymore, being apart was killing them so they decided to kill their relationship. It was hard for them to finalize the divorce but it had to be done now before they procrastinate and keep being married. They are setting each other free and hopefully they will be happy...

They are looking at each other now, staring and trying to get control of their emotions. But she doesn’t quite want to leave right now.

“You okay?” He asks wondering what she’s thinking about and staring at him about in the last second.

“No, not really.” The memories of being married made her stall in wanting to get up and leave.

“What’s wrong?” He asks but a second later she moved over towards him on the couch and kisses him passionately on the lip.

Then she pulls away again shocked at what she just did. Again, she’s the one who let her emotions get the best of her and kisses him one last time. She didn’t want this to be more than one last kiss but it only stirred up more feelings and emotions for them.

“Wow, what was that for?” He asks wondering why she kissed him. This caught him off guard because he didn’t see the kiss coming. He thought she would have gotten up again after signing the papers and headed for the door. But she didn’t, she kisses him instead.

“I don’t know. I guess I wanted to give you one last kiss before I go. I’m just emotional right now and being here in this apartment one last time has made me feel a little sad, sadder than I have been.” He understands what she’s saying this was all so emotional and overwhelming for the both of them but when she kissed him he felt that passion, that something that they always had with each other and it didn’t feel like one last kiss. It was so much more than that.

“I get it.” He says moving a little towards her now after she moved away from him on the couch.

He, grabs her face and gives her what she had wanted just a minute ago. 

END OF FLASHBACK 

And, that’s how they ended up sleeping together one last time. The next morning he woke up to see her gone. She didn’t leave a note or texted or called him after that night. They don’t see each other again for the next four years.

Barney, moves her hand off of him and turns slightly to see that she is fast asleep. She has her face buried into where his back was, her other arm she was lying on it but the one he just pulled off himself he placed it in front of her face. He smiles lightly glad to see her lying here next to him. She is passed out, not even a movement from her just her normal breathing. He slowly pulls the blanket off his body and climbs out of bed putting on his slippers to go to the bathroom.

Wow, Robin somehow went from the couch to the bed at some point during the last five hours. He doesn’t know when she came in here but he was surprisingly really relaxed earlier when he was sleeping. It had taken a bit to actually fall asleep after the night they had before. He was emotional and exhausted. He finally fell asleep about 3:30. So, she must have come in here around 4. He guesses that she couldn’t sleep and round up going to the bedroom. He knows that she likes being close to him, even if they just reunited and had been apart for four years. He remembers that she once told him that she was always most comfortable when he was close to her.

He, brushes his hand over his face then turns on the faucet and splashes some cold water on his face to wake up more. He usually brushes his teeth when he gets up in the morning, sometimes he goes right to the coffee maker and puts it on first but usually it’s the bathroom and brushing his teeth first. He gets more awake as he brushes his teeth, then he finishes with that and turns off the water. He dries his face with a towel, he had went back to one towel after Robin moved out which wasn’t until the year after they finalized the divorce. He had kept up her towel and the space for it until that final breakdown, after that he finally just put up one. He, opens the door quietly making sure to not wake Robin. She is still fast asleep as he walks out of the bathroom. Then walks to the bedroom door and opens it a little for it to not make any noises.

He, goes to the kitchen to turn on the coffee maker, then like clockwork he goes to the front door to get the morning paper. He always does that it is part of his morning routine. He brings in the paper and puts it on the coffee table. It’s Saturday, Ellie is with Shannon he is free to do whatever today. He sits on the couch and waits for the coffee to be ready and turns on the TV to watch the morning news. It’s 8 am, so he doesn’t think Robin will be up anytime soon. So he just relaxes and reflects on the events of yesterday.

He starts with Shannon... she really had a cow over him going to the wedding. He didn’t understand why she went all crazy over him going. He now knows why, she has always been jealous of Robin ever since he told her three years ago about the divorce and about Robin. It was the first time he opened up to someone about the divorce and Robin, but it did help him to try to move on. He and Shannon didn’t get into a relationship right away after first reuniting. They really did become friends. Then a year later they started to sleep together and after that things just turned quite quickly for them. He was hesitant at first due to his unresolved feelings for Robin. But, he did try to move on and make the relationship with Shannon work.

FLASHBACK (2017)

This has been the worst most painful year of his life. It’s been one year since they signed those divorce papers. Barney hadn’t seen Robin since their night together after signing the papers. She still hasn’t contacting him at all since, it was the last time they told each other they that love each other. The last time being intimate, the last time holding her telling her that it will be alright, they will be alright. She cried in his arms that night, he was so sure that that night meant something to her but it seems like it didn’t because there was no contact at all so Barney just tried to move on. He hasn’t been around his friends a lot, they’re all elsewhere doing things so it’s just him here in the city. He hasn’t stopped crying all these months though, in private he had been hiding in his apartment for days then weeks after their last time together. But, he was trying to move on one then one day when he came home drunk from a night out at a bar. He was with a girl, he met her in the bar/picked her up. He tried one of his old tricks from the old playbook he really doesn’t have anymore. He used a play and it worked to get the girl to go home with him. But, once he got to his apartment at first he was fine but then when he and the girl had started to make out on his bed he started to cry out of nowhere. This is the first time he let someone else see his feelings about the divorce and losing Robin. This chick he will soon forget but Robin was still on his mind which made him angrier.

“No, just I can’t do this.” He says pushing the girl off his bed. This is-was their bed, his and Robin’s bed she has no right to be on it. No woman but Robin should be on this bed so he gets mad with himself for being with another woman on his marriage bed, then pushes her off the bed, then has a breakdown right in front of the girl he doesn’t even know.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” The girl says once she got control of her legs to stand up from being pushed onto the floor.

“Nothing.” He yells, he hates himself right now. He doesn’t want to be with this girl. He wants to be with his wife. He is so drunk that he starts going on a rant chasing the girl out of his apartment. She slams the bedroom door then the front door but he doesn’t care if she slams the doors. Right now he doesn’t care about anything but the fact that his divorce is final.

That’s why he decided to go out and get drunk. He was cooped up in his apartment for weeks not happy at all, he had been drinking a lot lately as the weeks went by and it finally got to the one year date and he just lost it. He lost the woman he loves, how can he move on from that? He doesn’t and once the girl leaves he starts to pull the comforter and sheets off the bed along with the pillows that he hadn’t removed from the bed since that last night together with Robin. He takes a box cutter and starts to poke holes into the mattress saying curse words while crying.

“You know what? Fuck you Robin. You never loved me or cared about me.” He goes on from there cutting holes into the mattress. This is the bed they shared together and now it’s destroyed just like their marriage, just like what she did to destroy said marriage.

After, destroying the mattress he pokes holes into what was Robin’s two pillows. After, that he goes into the living room and does the same things that he did with the mattress and pillows to the couch. They never bought furniture beyond the bed, both liked the furniture but Barney didn’t want to part with it so they never got any other furniture for the apartment. He continues to destroy his couch, thee couch that they shared many memories on. One memory that came to his mind was when they are together years ago during their secret summer, they had been getting hot making out on the couch. He wanted to try doing a fantasy with her that he’s always wanted to do with a girl, but nobody was right enough for him to do this fantasy with. It is the Star Wars fantasy where she’s dressed in the stormtrooper outfit, they would have sex with her in it. He asks her in her ear as they made out if she wants to try that fantasy with him, they broke their embrace and sat back up on the couch. She didn’t want to do it at first, she thought it was a lame geek fantasy of a little boy but he convinced her to do it. So, in the next few minutes he helped her into the suit, then just as they were getting hot and heavy the there was a knock on his door. They didn’t want to stop but they do. It was just the guys wanting to watch the trilogy on his big screen TV. He told Robin about it but ultimately they let the guys into the apartment and few minutes later they were watching the trilogy with Robin standing in the corner dressed in the stormtrooper suit watching it along with the others. But, she had gotten so mad at him for bringing up other women and had broken a really expensive lamp.

God, this couch had so many memories including them just sitting down cuddling up watching a movie or a show together on the big screen TV. Every memory of this couch has a memory of Robin.

After, destroying the couch completely he drops the box knife and sits down in a huff on the floor in front of the couch. That’s how his couch got destroyed and why he had to buy a new couch and bed after this. But, this moment finally made him feel better about the divorce being final and Robin not even calling him after that last night together. He, is finally going to try to move on and this was his first real movement in doing so. That night, he couldn’t sleep. It was 1 in the morning but he stood up all night just sitting there on the floor crying a little more. It really did help him to move on. The next morning he goes out in search of a new couch and new bed but first he runs into Shannon at a coffee shop near his apartment building.

“Barney?” She says once she sees her ex boyfriend standing in line in front of her.

He turns around to see who it was that is calling his name.

“Shannon?” He says once he saw who it was.

“Oh, my god. It’s been a long time how have you been? I heard you got married.” The mention of his marriage made him bow his head sadly then look back at her.

“Yeah, I just um. I just got divorced actually, I’m single again.” He says not so happy about that fact.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.” She truly is, Barney was a great guy and she hadn’t truly forgotten about him all these years, especially because they slept together twelve years ago. Gosh, it’s been so long but that day left her feeling things she thought she would never feel again.

“Yeah, I guess it was for the best. Anyway, how are you?” He says as the line moves a little more.

“Good. I have been living in lower Manhattan for the last eight years. My son is a teenager now, and in that I don’t need my mom anymore phase. I’m still single too, hadn’t dated anyone serious in a few years.” Shannon, has had a few boyfriends in the last years since their last fling together. Nothing actually lasted, she hasn’t had a serious relationship in years she’s been focusing on her job and being a mother.

“That’s good to know.” He says moving up more on the line he is now at the register.

“I’ll take a large black coffee.” He really needs it, he was a mess last night and never got any sleep. So he needs the coffee to get through the day.

“What would you like? It’s my treat.” He asks Shannon wanting to be nice and order for her and pay too. 

“A tall latte.” 

“Thanks for buying, that was really nice of you.” She says smiling, it’s been such a long time but she remembers just how he made her feel when they were together. He had always paid for things and was such a gentleman but clearly she had messed him up so much so he became who he was after she broke up with him.

“No problem.” He says finally smiling after the year he just had.

“Hey, would you like to get a seat we can talk and catch up?” She asks after getting their drinks.

“Um sure, I guess.” He says, they go to find some place to sit and start with the trial of Greg. Shannon wasn’t involved with it but she had heard it on the news it was a huge story two years ago. The bastard finally got what was coming to him.

“I can’t believe you were the one who busted Greg for all the bad things he had done with GNB. I was shocked by it but not surprised.” She had read things on the trial and even saw Barney interviewing on the news about it. Robin was so proud of him, she was there beside him throughout the trial and was there when he had that Times interview. That was a good time for them, but something happened along the way after that that soon effected their marriage.

“Well, part of why I did that was because of you. I had wanted you back at first, but then I saw all the awful things he and GNB did through the years before and after I worked there. I just had to do something, so it became a sting. I didn’t think it would go that long but he really did get what was coming to him.” He says with a smug smile, but a proud smile because he is proud of himself for doing what he did even though it had cost him his job there.

“Well, I was glad you did something. The son of a bitch was an asshole he treated me horribly when we were together. Whatever it was that I saw in him lasted about six months. After that, I met my son’s father. I really haven’t had a decent or long lasting relationship since well, shockingly... you. I had one after we had slept together when you got that tape you sent me. But that ended too about five years ago. I guess our relationships haven’t been going well.” No they most certainly haven’t.

END OF FLASHBACK 

And, that was how Barney reunited with Shannon after all those years. He had told her about his marriage and the breakdown the night before and then once the conversation stopped they exchanged numbers and started up a friendship.

Gosh, his life has been one heck of a rollercoaster and now it’s heading for another drop after it had a few years of straight happiness.

“Barney.” Robin says once she had woken up.


	5. We Aren’t Too Far Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally wanted for Robin to stay with Barney more longer than planned but I decided it’s best if she finds her own place now because I have a plan that will play out for the rest of the story. This is just the beginning of them coming together. The next chapter we’ll see Shannon for the first time and things will be even more complicated for Robin and her reunion with Barney. 
> 
> I hope you like the story so far it’s just getting better B/R will be together it just isn’t soon, I’m still not sure how long this story will be but it will probably be more than 10 chapters. Enjoy the ride!

“Good morning, how’d you sleep?” Barney asks wanting to know if she slept well since she had gone to his room last night at some point and slept in his bed.

“Good. Better when I slept in your new bed.” She jokes about the new bed he bought because he was so upset over the divorce that he destroyed their old bed and had to buy a new one.

“It’s a good bed.” He says smiling, glad that she can joke now after all of what happened last night.

“There’s coffee already made if you like.” He says knowing that she hadn’t slept as well as she said since she wounded up in his bed and always needs coffee first thing in the morning. He remembers when they were married, even before that when they were dating he found out early on that she as an early riser always has coffee first thing when she wakes up every morning. They had spent a lot of time then at his apartment so he always pre-set the coffee maker at night so if she woke up early he would have coffee ready for her.

“Thanks.” She said heading over to the coffee, she pauses and turns to ask him. “Do you have a mug for me or do I use one of yours?” She asks this because she doesn’t know what he did with the mugs she left behind when she moved out. She put most of her things in storage, in their joint storage so her mugs are there but she had left two of them behind so she hopes that he still has them.

“Yeah, choose any one. I still have the Canada mug you left and the one that we had made with our initials on it.” That one was made for their wedding, they both had one individually made one for him and one for her as a pre wedding gift. They both agreed to make them personalized it also says his and hers on it. Surprisingly they are still right next to each other he never moved them.

She remembers just a week before their wedding that they went to this hand crafts shop where they can make anything they wanted so they made mugs and shot glasses which he does still have as well.

She pours the coffee into the Canadian mug it was always her favorite but she didn’t have the heart to use the handmade one, that is just too personal for her. That mug had tons of happy memories to it and with the emotions of last night she didn’t want to keep thinking about what she just lost.

“So, how did you wind up in my bed last night?” He wants to know, he felt so comfortable with her there next to him even though he was sleeping he still kind of knew that she was there it is like he has a sixth sense whenever she’s close to him.

“I don’t know, I was thinking about things then started crying which had me getting up from the couch and going to the room. I just remembered how nice it was to lay next to you when we were married so the memories of living in this apartment made me find my way towards the bedroom we shared together. I might not live here anymore but I do remember how this apartment looks even in the dark and I just thought that I would sleep better with you next to me. Is that stupid? Me remembering things from when we were together?” She wanted to be honest with him about what she had been feeling during the night and why she was in his bed. 

“No, of course not. I remember how nice it was to wake up next to you when we were married and going to sleep next to you. I just like it when you’re close to me.” He says this because it’s true, he loves it when she’s close to him or next to him, even when they were just friends having her presence next to him when they sat at the booth at the bar was always comforting to him and having that when they were married made him less crazy and more relaxed and still. He always was calm whenever she was near him.

“Me too.” She smiles glad he isn’t freaked out about her sleeping in his bed.

“So what are your plans for today? I’m free if you want to hang out.” He had no plans today, he was going to relax because of the wedding but now he really doesn’t want to do anything due to being too tired to do much because of yesterday.

“I was going to look for an apartment. I told you yesterday that I just came here for the wedding I didn’t have much time to do anything but go to the wedding.” She really didn’t all she could do when she flew into New York was get ready for the wedding and get there in time for the ceremony. The conversation with her mother had her decide to move back to New York that’s why she was going to get a hotel before she and Barney talked last night and before he asked her to stay with him.

“If you need help looking I can help. If you like you can stay here until you find a place.” He doesn’t mind her staying here, it’s only him here when Ellie’s with Shannon so it would be nice if she stays until she finds a place.

“I don’t know, what about Ellie? I don’t want to be a stranger in her home.” She doesn’t think it would be a good idea to stay here because of Shannon, she says Ellie is the reason she doesn’t think she should stay here but really it’s Shannon she doesn’t want to face her reality. The reality that Barney had moved on and found Shannon again after all those years. She just doesn’t want to face it at least not yet.

“She’s not here all the time. Shannon has her most of the week we share custody. Like I said yesterday we are living in two different places, I don’t know where we are going in our relationship. So, it’s not a problem if you stay here instead of an hotel that pays by the hour.” She thinks about his offer for a minute and decides...

“Okay, if you really don’t mind I would like to stay here, until I find a place.” Good that settles it. He really is here alone a lot of the time and is lonely so the company is welcomed and nice cause he missed her.

“Good, if you want I can help you look for a place?” He asks again because it would give him something to do.

“Alright, sure I would like your help.” It’s finally nice to just enjoy each other’s company now that the shock of Barney’s secret had passed. Being friends is what always made them a good team, the time apart made them both realize how much they mean to each and missed each other.

Robin, takes a sip of her now warm coffee and then asks something she didn’t want to think about or say but she has to...

“Speaking of Shannon, how did that happen?” She’s curious to know how Barney suddenly reunited with Shannon. That’s still hard to process how that came to be again.

“Well, we ran into each other at Starbucks. Funnily enough it’s the same thing that happened with Quinn just in a very different way. We talked and I told her about us, about the divorce and you. She knew that I had gotten married so she thought I still was. Anyway, we caught up on things in our lives since the last time we saw each other. She told me that she hasn’t had a real relationship in a long time and I told her about you and our relationship so she knows everything that had happened between us in our relationship and friendship. She kind of didn’t want me to go to the wedding because of our history. It really did take a long time for me to move on and get over the divorce and you. But I tried to, I just don’t know what’s going to happen with our relationship.” When he was stalling in his new relationship with Shannon she had gotten mad with him for not wanting more from the relationship. That all changed when she became pregnant and still, there’s no movement on moving forward in their relationship which includes moving in together. He did ask her if she wants to move in with him but she didn’t want to so with that and him reuniting with Robin he really doesn’t know what’s going happen between him and Shannon.

“She’s jealous, that’s why she didn’t want you to go to the wedding and why she doesn’t want to move in with you. She’s both set in her ways and jealous of our relationship. Maybe she thought there would be something going on between us when we saw each other yesterday and was upset with you going to the wedding. How would she know that I would go? I didn’t even know myself if I should go or not. My mother told me that it would be good to go and see all you guys cause it’s been a while since we were all together. Plus, I did want to see you so I decided to go at last minute. I was not expecting to find out that you got back together with Shannon and Ellie is hers and not another random woman’s.” That really shocked her, she still can’t believe that Ellie is Shannon’s daughter and not some unknown woman’s it’s better than what she thought which was he knocked up some young naive girl who was too drunk to know what she was doing. But it’s still hard to process that he knocked up Shannon and is in a relationship with her.

“I shouldn’t have told everyone that Ellie was some unknown random woman’s who is young enough to be my daughter. That was old disgusting me. The new me should have realized how bad a lie that would ultimately be. I just didn’t want you to know that I had a relationship with Shannon and she was the one who actually got pregnant but the only truth in that lie is that she was shocked that she got pregnant that’s when our relationship changed. We do share custody of Ellie so she’s with Shannon most of the time, I only see Ellie on the weekends.” That’s where he thinks the relationship with Shannon went to die. Before reuniting with Robin, there was very little progress in the relationship but no movement on what Shannon wants. Just a month after Ellie was born Shannon agreed to joint custody it was only recently when Barney asked her if she wanted to move in with him.

“You want to get some breakfast I’m a little hungry?” Robin asks changing the subject because it was getting a little too real.

“I actually have things here if you want to eat here?” It’s true he goes shopping now and has a lot of food especially because of Ellie she’s still a baby but she uses formula and will start to teeth soon. So he has food and things he knows Robin usually likes for breakfast.

“No, it’s okay let’s go out. You said you were free today and want to help me find an apartment so we can go to breakfast and then start looking for a place for me to live.” He likes her offer. It would be nice to get out, it seems like a nice day to enjoy it together.

“Alright, let’s go.” She smiles glad that he took her up on this offer.

They get ready and go to a diner close to his apartment. Being friends is better than not being anything to each other so Robin is going to put what she just learned about Barney’s relationship with Shannon and the fact that Ellie is Shannon’s daughter aside, yes that fact hurt but she’s going to support Barney in his relationship with Shannon that’s all she can do right now, be his friend because his friendship means everything to her. As they walked towards the diner they had a conversation, nothing too serious or bad just a brief what’s next kind of conversation. He asks her what kind of apartment she wants and where she wants to live in the city and she asks him how it’s been since becoming a dad. It was nice just to enjoy being friends and have a normal conversation without any drama attached to it.

When, they get to the diner they find a booth and sit on opposite sides. Barney orders waffles and Robin orders crepes. They continue to talk about what’s next in their new friendship now that Robin knows about Ellie and Shannon.

“I told you it’ll be alright if you stay with me while you look for a new place to live. It’s really not a big deal, Ellie is with Shannon, I will see her tomorrow when she’s dropped off at the apartment. So, really it’s not a problem if you stay at the apartment after all it was yours too a few years ago.” Robin still doesn’t feel quite comfortable with staying with Barney because she doesn’t want to make Shannon uncomfortable when she sees that she is staying with her ex husband it will be too awkward for both of them considering that Shannon knows all about Robin’s relationship with Barney and probably thinks that there’s still feelings there between her and Barney.

“I don’t know, what about Shannon wouldn’t she have a problem with me staying there? You are dating her and she’s the mother of your daughter.” She still feels weird not only being in his apartment again after four years but also because of his relationship with Shannon it would be awkward for anyone’s ex but especially her since Shannon feels that Barney still loves her which she might have picked up on since they had a fight before Barney went to the wedding.

“Shannon’s not living with me, she has no say in what I do in my apartment. She rejected my offer to move in so I don’t see why having you there for a little while while you look for a new place is going to be a problem.” Barney doesn’t think Shannon will change her mind on living with him at his apartment and he’s not going to bring it up again unless it does get brought up again. Barney is just making a friendly offer because Robin doesn’t have a place to stay and he doesn’t want her to live in a hotel and pay a lot of money when she can stay with him for free.

“Alright then, I will stay with you. It’s better than staying at a high priced hotel. I just don’t want any problems to happen with Shannon while I’m there.” She wants to stay with him but is worried that Shannon won’t like it, she already thinks with their history it would bring up things that Shannon wouldn’t want.

“There won’t be any problems. Yes, I have an relationship with Shannon and she’s Ellie’s mother but she rejected my offer to move in with me, unlike you who just accepted my offer. She doesn’t get a say. I honestly don’t know what is going to happen with my relationship with Shannon but having you stay with me until you find a place is not going to be a problem I won’t let it.” Robin relaxes and sighs, not sure what Shannon will think when she sees that she’s staying at his apartment especially with their history but she’s happy to accept Barney’s offer.

As they begin eating their meals the conversation is light and enjoyable just like old times. Barney asks her how her mother is doing since it’s been a long time since he last talked to her. Robin says she’s doing ok and is dating someone, she’s happy. Robin tells him that it was her mother who talked her into going to the wedding after she had that meltdown in February. And, Robin asks how his mother and brother are doing. Barney says that James is thinking about having another baby, with his other two kids grown the house is almost empty but he wants another and he and Tom are talking about it, so there might be another baby in the family in the near future. And, Loretta and Sam just celebrated their anniversary, they had gotten married two years ago and have been very happy together.

“So, where do you want to start the search for an apartment?” Barney asks wanting to know where she wants to look for an apartment, they talked about it earlier while walking to the diner but he doesn’t know where she wants to go to find an apartment. 

“Well, I was thinking online ads maybe the newspaper those are good places to start. I would like to live in Manhattan and I want the apartment to be like the one I had before we got engaged.” She loved that apartment, despite only living in it for a few months and having the rent be free because of the way her landlord supposedly had the creepily hots for her. Anywhere that is in Manhattan and is big and spacious enough for her since she can afford anything now.

“That was a nice apartment, your landlord not so much.” He hated Robin’s landlord but the apartment was nice, possibly it would have been a nice place to live after they got married.

“Yeah I really shouldn’t have trusted that no rent agreement but I was desperate at the time.” She had just moved out of Ted’s apartment and had no place to go so she found this apartment where she begged the landlord to give her an apartment, at the time she did have the funds to pay the rent but her landlord liked her apparently a lot which now she realizes was not a good idea to take his offer on the no rent agreement. Barney hated her being in that guys presence so that’s the main reason why he wanted her to move in with him after they got engaged. But the apartment was really nice and it could have been the apartment they lived in after they got married.

“You could have asked me if you had no other choices I would have helped you out. I know the whole Ted situation was not what you wanted but it had to happen.” He never said anything but he knows that Robin living with Ted was not a good idea for a lot of reasons but mostly because of Ted’s feelings. Barney would have not minded her staying with him for a while until she found a place. 

“You were just starting your relationship with Quinn I didn’t want to feel unwelcomed. I stayed with Patrice but that apartment surprisingly was available right at that time when I had the helicopter incident so getting that apartment at that time was lucky on my part. I know how you felt about me living with Ted.” How did she know that he didn’t like her living with Ted he never told anyone what he thought of that.

“How did you know that I didn’t approve of you living with Ted?” He’s stunned that she knew what he felt when she lived with Ted and how he wasn’t so quiet but was quiet on that situation.

“Because you weren’t always quiet about it. You had said things about it at first and I know how you felt about me at that time when I first moved in with him. How un-approving you were especially when Ted and I were having that friends with benefits situation.” How did she know about that? He gives her this shocked look and she points out...

“Barney, I was in love with you at that time.” She points out when she sees the stunned look on his face.” I never told you that I know you too well and knew how you felt I was just not aware of it plus Ted did tell me that we couldn’t continue our agreement because it would hurt someone’s feelings. I figured out months later when you told me that you were in love with me, when I overheard you talking to Ted about me. I figured it out then that you were the one we hurt when we had that situation going on. But, you should know that I knew all along that you had a problem with me living with Ted and I did have feelings for you I just didn’t know how to express them or tell you how I felt.” It’s true, Robin didn’t know how she really felt until she found out that Barney had feelings for her and had been in love with her that whole year. This was her little secret... the fact that she stopped the arrangement with Ted because she knew she hurt Barney.

“I never told anyone how I felt about you, at that time, only Lily knew. Everyone else did find out, you never said anything about your feelings for me.” Barney gets more and more interested in this conversation he thought it would turn into a sad conversation with the talk of Shannon but it’s actually more lighthearted and that’s what he hoped this reunion with Robin would be.

“I knew Barney. I know you, I know how you operate plus you’re really not at all discreet with the way you used to look at me. You used to stare at me a lot at that time, it kind of freaked me out a little but remember when I asked you out to that hockey game?” She has to tell him that she had feelings for him at that time when he thought she didn’t.

“Yeah, it was that time when you liked seeing a guy get into a fight. Ted and I had faked the fight we got into then you found out and didn’t do anything or said anything after that.” He was kind of bummed when she backed out of asking him to the game but having her all over him when he had that black eye was better than nothing.

“Yeah, I wanted to ask you out. It was weird for me to ask you to the hockey game because it was usually you who would call me or ask me to go out with you but at that time I wanted that game to be a date. I was falling for you, I wasn’t sure what to feel at the time but I know I had feelings for you that’s why when we had that conversation in the hospital months later it made me confess what I was feeling.” So that’s why she confessed her feelings he never knew that, he thought it was because he said something first which brought on her feelings.

“You didn’t tell me that. I never knew why you told me how you felt because I thought because I said something first that it had made you say something.” They had told each other that they love each other during that summer but she never told him that she was having feelings for him before that day in the hospital.

“No. I said what I was feeling for months at the hospital but I was in love with you. I was telling you the truth I loved you.” They both smile at this, now knowing that they both felt the same way before they got together and that summer they had together was absolutely perfect, they fell more in love and now he knows another secret she kept all these years.

“Me too. I loved you too, it was difficult for me to tell you but it was killing me. And I didn’t stop loving you after that time either.” He’s almost getting emotional over this conversation ever since Robin came home all these feelings had come back, not that they were gone they just had to take a break from thinking about her all the time after the divorce he had to reunite with Shannon to try to forget Robin and the heartbreak she left behind when they divorced.

They really can’t believe they just admitted all the stuff they did just now, they are both shocked at how long they were in love. And, now they feel regretful of the divorce and know that they gave up much too soon. As they stare at each other they both take a moment to realize how much has changed since the divorce and since they became romantically involved. This moment helps them both know that the divorce wasn’t either of their faults. They just got too over their heads with the changes they had when she took the correspondent job. They both blamed themselves for the divorce but now they know that the divorce was premature and that they should have tried more harder because neither wanted to lose each other. And, now they have and he’s a father who reunited with his ex and she is single and not at all at where she wanted to be at this stage of her life. She really thought she had it all together once she married Barney but it seems that she didn’t and she’s still in the same place she was when they first fell in love.

“So, we should probably get going to look for a new apartment for you. It might take long but hopefully we’ll find someplace for you to live.” He was getting too emotional so he decided to change the subject this was supposed to be a nice unemotional breakfast not them pouring their hearts out to one another. Reuniting has brought their hearts back together but things are much more complicated now with him being with Shannon and there’s a lot of things they need to fix in their relationship before anything happens with them.

“Right. We should start looking I want to start with online ads it would be quicker to look there first because then I can choose where I want to live and see how big the place is.” She was a moment away from telling him to be with her and to dump Shannon but she knew she couldn’t do that, that would be wrong so she stays quiet even though she desperately wants to be with him. It’s hard for her to look at him and not want to kiss him just like she wanted to do at the wedding when they were dancing.

“Yeah, that’s a good place to start.” Barney then pays the check from their breakfast and they head out in search for her new apartment.

They start with the online ads that she mentioned and he helps. Although they end up going back to his apartment with a few newspapers to check those ads as well because they wanted to do this search in a quiet place and not get interrupted in any way.

“So, there’s two places here on the Upper East side, there’s another in midtown, another by Central Park around the same area where your other apartment was. And then there’s a few downtown in lower Manhattan. I don’t know what you want precisely but those are the apartments available that I found.” He had been checking the newspapers while she looked online. They both found nice apartments in good locations but he doesn’t know what she wants or where she wants to live.

“Central Park or Upper Manhattan would be good.” She has enough money now to offered a big, spacious apartment and she wants to be close to Barney but she’s not going to tell him that. Being close by is better than being far apart in two different places in the city and she doesn’t want to go to a borough she wants to stay in the city.

“Alright. The apartment by Central Park is available now, they have an open house should I call and get an appointment with the realtor?” That was pretty fast, they only been searching for ten minutes.

“Yeah, that’s good give them a call. I also found another place not too far away from here.” She just found an apartment two blocks away from his building but both apartments seem nice and they’re in great locations.

“Alright, I will call and for a backup you can contact the place you are looking at now.” And, so they contact the two apartments they were talking about and set up appointments with the landlord of the apartment by Central Park and the realtor for the apartment two blocks away. One appointment is for Monday and the other surprisingly allowed Robin to meet with them later today. That was much more faster than they expected but Robin doesn’t want to stay with Barney too long not with Shannon being around that will be too awkward for everyone.

“So, the realtor for the apartment two blocks from here wants to meet with me later today at 3.” She says happy that she found this place this quickly because she doesn’t want to be apart from Barney any longer. She wants to be close by so she can be in his life more.

“Great. If that doesn’t work out then we have the other appointment on Monday. That was really fast, I didn’t think we would find a place this quickly. But that’s good right? You want to find a place since you came back?” He’s a little sad over this but Robin doesn’t want to overstay her welcome at his apartment so this could be a good thing for her that way she can move into the new apartment soon and be close to him.

“Yeah, I mean staying here is great but I don’t want to ruin anything between you and Shannon it’s better for me to get my own place anyway, I am moving back and it’s time to be settled and not traveling all the time.” She was exhausted with traveling her job was so tiring that she had to give up her marriage in order to keep up with her job. Losing Barney had changed her, not in the way that Barney changed but it had made her realize how much she gave up to have the career she’s always wanted. But that all ended when Barney became a dad. Now she is going to be in New York a lot more, she decided to talk to her boss on Monday, so she’s hoping that this appointment today will be something she likes, this apartment does look good so she hopes that she can move in within the next week. She is done with traveling that is the change she needs, having that meltdown in February was her wake up call, she knew then that she wasn’t happy and giving up her marriage made her lose a little of who she is. 

“You’re really not going to travel anymore?” He’s surprised that she’s giving that up. Traveling was something she liked doing at first, now she thinks it isn’t what she wants.

What she does want is Barney but she can’t have him right now so the only other option is for her to move back to New York to be close to him, being his friend is all she can be right now but hopefully they will be together so this move will bring them back together and she hopes that Barney will be in her life more.

“No. I wanted to tell you the other night at the wedding but we had that conversation and then I left to go think. I didn’t get to tell you my plan. I made the decision to move back here when I saw my mother. She is the one who made me decide that I don’t want to be apart from you and the gang so before you told me about Shannon I had wanted to tell you that I’m not going to be traveling anymore. When my boss almost fired me he gave me another chance so I asked him if I can step down from the correspondent position. He let me have some time off and on Monday I’m going to go back to work but I’m staying here I won’t be traveling anymore. I’m going to ask him if I can go back to being an anchor that’s what I really want to do.” He’s shocked that she doesn’t want to travel anymore but he thinks this is a good move on her part, he wishes that she compromised like this when they were married, they would still be married now if she compromised on traveling. It wasn’t like he hated traveling he just got tired of it. She had put all her attention onto her work and stopped paying attention to him and their marriage that’s where they went wrong. Maybe it was her fault that they aren’t married anymore after all.

“Well, I hope that you will find your way again in the business because I am really proud of you and how far you came since we met. You deserve to be the best at your career because you are the best.” She is glad that she has his support. He was supportive when they were married, he was always supportive of her career it was just that the job had taken all of her time and that broke their marriage but now she regrets the way she handled two things at once, her marriage and her career.

“I should get ready to meet with the realtor. It’s almost 1 o’clock.” She says ten minutes later after she reveals to him that she’s stepping down from her position of foreign correspondent and is remaining in New York because she is tired and over with traveling it took away her life and now she has to watch the man she loves with another woman and see him be a father to his daughter that is not hers. She really is done with that lifestyle and is focusing on being in Barney’s life again.

“Do you want me to go with you? I wouldn’t mind checking out the place myself.” She is doing this because of him so she of course wants him to go with her.

“Yeah. I want you to come with me.” She says smiling happy that he wants to be there when she finds a new apartment. They are friends after everything that’s all she can ask for right now.

They get ready to meet with the realtor and they leave an hour later. The apartment is only two blocks away from his building so they take a slow walk over and talk as they go. Robin is really happy to have his friendship back she really did miss him while she was traveling. There was something missing when they were apart before the divorce and that became more apparent after the divorce. She was alone and missed having a partner there by her side, Barney was supportive of her career but doing too many things and going to too many places within the span of a year was exhausting so it was too late to fix what was becoming broken between them but both regret giving up too soon.

“Wow, this place is really nice.” Barney says seeing how big the apartment is.

“Yeah I like it.” She agrees with him it is really nice. It’s spacious, has two bathrooms, three rooms, it’s already furnished minus the furniture, the kitchen is bigger than Barney’s and the closet space is huge, this place is like Barney’s apartment but slightly bigger. Although this place is more for a family than one person.

And, that is the plan. Robin wanted a place where Barney and Ellie could come over and stay over so the two extra rooms one will be saved for Ellie and the other will be her home office. She might not be with Barney like she wants but she’s damn sure that she wants him and his daughter in her life and this is her little secret. If she found a place big enough for more than one person and it was close to Barney’s apartment then it’s perfect for her.

“I’m taking it.” She says after seeing the other rooms, it was everything she wanted and more. It is what she wants and she’s happy that Barney likes it too.

“You really want to live here?” He asks making sure that she’s sure about this apartment because it’s the first one she saw.

“Yeah, I do. It’s perfect for me. It’s even bigger than my other apartment before we got engaged I really like it.” But the only problem is, is the rent. Even though she can afford it now. The rent is a little higher than she expected but she doesn’t want to live too far away from Barney so she will find a way to pay the rent.

“Okay. This is after all your apartment it’s your decision.” He smiles letting her make her own decision because this will be her place and not his...

“There is only one issue I have.” She says, the realtor had mentioned the price of the rent when they first came here so that’s been on her mind while looking at the apartment.

“And what’s that?” He asks wondering if she has second thoughts about living in this apartment.

“The rent. It’s a little high. I can only afford the first months deposit and rent.” He feels bad for her she should be able to afford her own place by now since she has made more money than she ever had in her life because of the correspondent job. But, if he helps her out then she can have this apartment like she wants.

“Alright then. I will help you out and pay for the down payment, first months rent and the utilities. If you really want to live here then I can help you, if you want my help.” And that’s what she was going for and hoped would happen. Him offering to help her pay for the apartment. She smiles knowing that this plan has worked. Finding a big place where the rent is high even though she didn’t know the rent was that high until earlier, but having him help her is what she wanted while looking for an apartment.

“Yes, I would like your help. Although you can pay half because I can afford it after this first month.” He smiles glad that she accepted his offer it’s the least he could do after everything that had happened between them.

“Alright. Let’s get this apartment Scherbatsky.” It’s been a while since he called her that, she had missed that. She’s technically still a Stinson but she still uses her maiden name for her job. Having him call her that again after all these years brings a bright smile to her face.

And, so Barney decides to put his name on the lease because he gave Robin the down payment and first months rent. Robin is excited and very happy to see his name next to hers again. She wasn’t expecting for the rent to be that high but buying this place had turned out better than she imagined. Barney is now paying half the rent every month, so he sends her a check for five hundred and she pays the other half. Robin, is very happy with this decision and will be moving in within the next week. So, for now she is going to stay with Barney for a few days.


	6. The Timing Isn’t Right but This Feeling Is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is completely flashback to the night before, which is Saturday when Barney and Robin look for a new place for her to live. Since she is staying with Barney for the next week. Things get even more complicated for them. This chapter takes place on Saturday night but when emotions get too high things happen.
> 
> Warning: this chapter contains sexual content but it won’t be the last time sex is involved.
> 
> The next chapter: Shannon will be in it, starting with this chapter and will be in this story for the first time since starting this fic.

It’s early Sunday morning, Barney woke up in a fog. Ellie is supposed to be dropped off in two hours by Shannon but all he could think about at this moment is what happened the night before...

Last night, he and Robin had stood up talking then talking led to drinking and sure enough the night ended in a way that it always had in the past. Barney, wasn’t expecting for what happened with Robin to actually happen at least not when he’s in a relationship with someone else. But, the night started out nicely, with him and Robin having dinner after coming back from purchasing Robin’s new apartment. But, then an hour later they were sitting on his couch knocking back some scotch and wine playing a game, laughing and talking about the old days. At one point they were talking about the happy part of their marriage, that first year and a half. They were so happy and so in love but then the bump happened. They hit it head first and everything from then on went downhill. When, Robin started talking about the more emotional part of their conversation the mood started to shift.

FLASHBACK 

“I didn’t want the divorce.” She says, her voice low and sad.

After, two hours of talking and drinking they started to get serious and then Robin brings up the fact that she didn’t want the divorce but thought that because of her busy work schedule and them fighting all the time. She thought the best thing to do at the time was sign those papers. But, after that day she began to regret signing them. Barney hadn’t known this until now and if he did he wouldn’t have signed them either.

“Wait. You didn’t want the divorce?” He says putting his shot glass down on the coffee table. At this point and time they were doing shots they were kind of playing a game prior to Robin confessing this thing that she had held onto for years. The game was truth or dare and when he asks her to tell him the truth of a secret she’s keeping she says that she didn’t want the divorce, that was why she slept with him the night they signed the papers.

“No. At the time I thought it was the best thing to do, the only solution to all of what we were going through at the time. But, then after that day we signed the papers I started to regret it.” The last time they saw each other before Ted’s wedding was the day they signed the divorce papers and slept together one last time. She had taken off that morning, really early and Barney had wondered why she never wrote a note, or called, or even texted after that day. Until, now he just thought that she regretted that day and night together and that’s why she didn’t talk to him after that time.

“And, then when Lily called to tell me that you were having a baby. My world kind of stopped at that moment. My job suffered, I was drinking, partying, staying out all night not caring about anything. I was really a mess. I tried to pull myself together but by then my boss almost fired me. I asked him to forgive my tardiness and behavior and he let me take sometime off. I had a lot of vacation days saved because I never took a break after we split. So, my boss gave me the time I needed to get myself together. I took that time and went to visit my mother. I didn’t want to come back to New York and face you quite yet, and I didn’t have any other place I wanted to go. So, I went to Canada and spent two months thinking and figuring out what’s next for my life. Then, Tracy called to tell me about the wedding and after talking to my mom she convinced me to go. I really was honest about that part when we talked the other night. My mother finally gave me some good advice so I booked the next flight back to New York. I got here kind of late so I only had time to prepare for the wedding. I did almost decide to not go since I was already a little late. But, I did go and when I saw you...” she pauses at this part and swallows hard on her saliva and then scotch after she took a sip of it. The emotions are coming on stronger now. The other night didn’t cover everything that she went through after they slept together that last time and tonight didn’t either but telling him now that she regrets the divorce, she thought it was a good time.

“I, didn’t know what to say to you. Then, when we looked at each other during the ceremony I knew I wasn’t nervous or scared or didn’t know what to say to you. I knew that I still loved you. That is what I wanted to tell you when we went outside to talk the other night. Then I got mad about Shannon and Ellie and ran off.” He is completely in shocked by her confession, he had no idea what she had been feeling all this time. The events of a wedding brought on what she was truly feeling.

“Robin. If I knew that you were regretting the divorce I would have not wanted it either. I asked you that night we signed them that I loved you and didn’t want the divorce either. A gave you two chances to change your mind but you still signed them. You were so confusing that night with what you wanted, you even kissed me and then we slept together. I was so mad at you for a whole year because it seemed like you didn’t care about me. I mean we slept together, said I love you to each other and then you ran off the next morning as if nothing had happened. I thought you didn’t love me or cared about me enough to change your mind about the divorce. You never called or even wrote a note saying that you were leaving. You left me again, in pain and thinking that I never meant anything to you.” And, now he’s emotional, crying over what he had kept to himself all these years.

“I did, I still do. You matter the most to me, I was just a mess and needed sometime to think and be by myself.” They are both in tears now, just like they were the other night after she found out about his life. This was so heartbreaking again for them, both confessing to what they were thinking, doing and feeling that whole time they were apart. The more emotions the more closer they get to sitting next to each other on the couch.

“But, I didn’t stop loving you. And I never forgot about that night together, I did care. I thought about it after that night and hadn’t stopped thinking about that night ever since then. Anytime we were together in the past it meant something and it still does...” she stops there, and now they are staring at each other.

The next thing they knew, they were kissing on his new couch.

END OF FLASHBACK 

What, a long three days for them. They poured every emotion and feeling they felt in the last four years and it resulted in a night of passion.

Barney, opened his eyes and turned to his left side. Robin is still asleep, passed out from the alcohol and multiple rounds of love making. It wiped them both out but Barney had to wake up early to clean up the mess they made the night before and prepare for Ellie to come. God, how is he going to explain this to Shannon? She’s going to be here in two hours. He can’t possibly explain that he and Robin reunited at Ted’s wedding and Robin is staying at his apartment for the next week while she moves into her new apartment, the apartment he just helped Robin pay for and is co renter on her lease. 

As, he cleans the living room and the kitchen he also sets the coffee maker, he knows that Robin needs her hangover pick me up and so does he. And, also how will he explain that they just hooked up while he is with Shannon. He needs to figure out what to do within the next hour and a half. Robin, will hopefully remain sleeping in the bedroom. With the door closed Shannon won’t see or hear Robin when she comes to drop Ellie off.

He’s got a headache, in fact his head is pounding from the hangover. He would make his hangover cure but he’s too weak to start the blender. So the coffee and pills will do for now. Last night, it was amazing. He had never felt so connected to someone ever in his life, not even Shannon when he did finally sleep with her. But, Robin she makes him feel things he never did with any other woman before. It was quite amazing to hold her again, to kiss her, to make love to her. And it was like all the other times they’ve had in bed. It still felt right, it felt like they just went on a four year separation from each other and they reunite then make love, just like they used to. They never forgot how good it was to make love to each other like that, he knew what she wanted and when she wanted it and vice versa. The, only difference is... they’re divorced. They really did sign those divorce papers. And, the emotions of everything that has happened were there.

FLASHBACK 

“I love you.” She tells him, whispering in his ear as he lifted her up off the couch.

“I never stopped or will stop.” He tells her kissing her on her forehead.

He carries her to the bedroom and kicks the door open with his foot. When they enter their old bedroom, all the memories of their relationship flash in their eyes. Except, there really is a new bed that is not the bed they bought together before they got married. Barney, kicks the door shut and walks over to the bed where he lays her down on it. He has never, not once slept with a woman on this newer bed. Robin would be the first woman to ever share this bed with him and he’s honored to share it with her. After the last three days this feeling right now is the most relieving feeling they have felt since the divorce. 

After, laying her on the bed she looks up at him and smiles. She smiles a true smile, one she hasn’t had on her face in four years. She is incredibly happy right now, but she knows this is wrong. He is seeing someone else, he’s in a committed relationship with someone else. But, she simply does not care. Kissing him, having him hold her the way he did when they were on the couch. It was everything she needed in this moment. She loves this man, she could have been a good decent person and not sleep with a man who’s in a relationship with someone else. But, this felt so wonderfully good. This is what she’s wanted since Thursday. But then she found out about Shannon and it ruined what could have happened. Now, though even if the timing is not right, this feeling is.

“Are, you sure you want to go through with this?” She asks, even though she wants him right now, so badly. She still wants to make sure that he wants to go through with cheating on Shannon whom he said he loves.

“I, I know this is wrong. I should be mature and a role model for my daughter. I should not be feeling what I’m feeling right now. But, I can’t pretend that I haven’t thought about you all these years. I took one year to recover from the divorce, another year to not be angry with you for leaving after we signed the divorce papers. And, in between those years I did reunite with Shannon and it resulted in our daughter. But, all of that time I still thought of you. I was still in love with you. Despite, everything we just went through at the time the divorce left me trying to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and life. Moving on with Shannon was a way to forget for a little bit. I do love Shannon, but she isn’t and will never be you. Robin, I love you and I’m positively sure that I want you right now.” Yes, in some ways he is drunk from the alcohol they just drank. But he’s also drunk on the love of his life coming back home. Back home to him and that made him happy again, for once in four years he’s happy.

“Then, get over here and make love to me Barney Stinson.” She says this is a sexy flirty tone, he winks at her and the next thing she knew he was on her.

She had moved back on the bed as he was talking. But she was looking at him the whole time. The look in his eyes when he told her he loves her. God, she had missed that, missed the way those baby blues looked at her, she melts in those blue eyes of his all the time. She thinks this is the reason she fell for him. Those eyes are so god damn blue, and so beautiful to look at.

He, kisses her from her lips down to her chest. Their clothes, well her top, and his suit shirt and under shirt had come off in the living room. He was about to take off her shoes so he could take off her pants, the pants that she had been wearing all day, which is when they went to see her new apartment. But, then she stopped him by saying wait, he moves back from kissing her to say what then she tells him let’s go break in that new bed of yours. He hadn’t said that he has never slept with any woman on this bed and he doesn’t say it now. He just nods and says let’s go then he lifts her with her shoes still on and carries her to their old bedroom.

He, takes off her shoes and then socks. As he kisses his way down her body. As he works his way back up her body, he takes off her pants and pulls them down her legs and off throwing them on the door where her shoes and socks are. He is still kind of clothed, his shoes, shirts, and pants are now off. He is down to his boxer briefs and his socks which he hadn’t taken off yet. He makes his way back up her body by kissing her stomach. He gets to her breasts and unhooks her bra.

“God, I’ve missed this.” He says, she is thinking the same thing. They might have been apart for four years but he still knows her body so well that when he sucks and bites down on her left nipple she closes her eyes and let’s his wonderful mouth work over her the way it used to. This has always been the thing that never failed their relationship. Now that they know that the divorce was a mistake. They know why their marriage failed and it’s because they failed to talk to each other and she broke her promise to him to always tell him things. Not only were their vows to each other were to always be honest and open with each other. After she took that correspondent job things just changed, she changed. Which is what she figured out when she was in Canada with her mother. She broke every promise she had made to him.

After, sometime getting her worked up with oral sex. Barney takes his underwear off then hers. She’s really wet already after getting worked up with the things he had done already. Her legs are spread and waiting but he decides to play with her pussy continuing to do more oral. But, she’s beyond craving him...

“Barney, just get inside me. I don’t need foreplay, I need you. Little Barney. We have been apart for four years.” And just like that he stops the foreplay and jumps her again kissing her right on the lips. She pulls him down on top of her more and he enters her with a quick speed.

“Uh, yesssss. Thank god!” She yells out she has had a few orgasms already but having him inside her again after four years was the most relieving feeling ever. She finally feels alive and happy for the first time in four years.

“Wow, that was incredible. We still got it.” He says afterwards, that was one incredible hour. It didn’t take them long to find a groove but it is them, so they quickly found their groove just like they did anytime they slept together in the past. 

The last time they slept together they were both sad and heartbroken about the divorce. But, this time. This time they were both happy, even with some emotion early that night. They weren’t emotional while making love.

She high fives him but keeps the smile on her face.

“It was like we never...signed those papers.” She had paused to say what she wanted, at first she was going to say divorce but couldn’t bring herself to do it so she says papers instead.

“So, let’s forget about the whole divorce and papers thing. Let’s start over...” he suggests this because talking about the divorce is not what he wants to talk about anymore. He wants to move on, especially since they both know that the divorce was not what they wanted.

“Okay.” She says and he pulls her into him then she rests her head on his chest.

It really does feel amazing to be in his arms again and even if this bed is not the one they bought. It is still their old bedroom.

“I don’t want to be inappropriate or anything. But, I have to ask. Did you sleep with Shannon in this bed?” Oh, she had to say it didn’t she? He thought.

“No, I didn’t.” He says flat out not wanting to lie to her about something that is true.

“Thank goodness. I thought for sure you slept with women in this bed.” No, nope not women just one woman the woman he loves.

“No, you are the only woman I’ve slept with in this bed and bedroom since we split. I never felt right about sleeping in the same room that we shared together when we were married. And I didn’t feel right sharing this bed with any other woman either, even if this bed is still pretty new. I did try to sleep with someone right after we split up, after the divorce was final. But it didn’t feel right. I kicked the girl out, well actually she ran out of here after I yelled at her to get out. Then I had that breakdown which made me destroy the old bed and the couch in the living room. That’s the reason why I bought those two new things. I ran into Shannon the next morning after destroying the couch and bed.” She feels so bad for him. She really should have called him after they slept together it would have helped him not destroy their old bed.

She moves her arm over Barney’s stomach then up to his chest rubbing it softly.

“I’m so sorry, Barney if I knew what you were going through I would have been there for you. But, I was also going through a tough time too, I didn’t know what to say to you after we slept together. I just needed some time and space. But, if I knew I would have been here, telling you that we made a mistake... and now you have a relationship with someone else and a baby with her. I really messed up.” She says crying again at how royally she screwed up their marriage, their happiness. This was all her fault.

“Hey, hey. Robin, look at me.” He says pulling her chin up gently to look at him.

“Don’t worry about it, okay we know we made a mistake. If I could go back and change it I would but I and we can’t. I know I have this whole other life. But, Robin you are my whole world. You always have been. Moving on is what I had to do to prevent myself from having more breakdowns. But, that doesn’t mean that I stopped thinking about you or loving you. Even Shannon believes that I still love you, it is why we fought the other morning over going to the wedding. It was because she knows about our relationship, about our history. All I did at the beginning of our relationship was talk about you. But, I was really lonely after we divorced and I missed you terribly. I thought that Shannon was my only hope of not sleeping around the way I used to. I did try it again, wrote some new plays. But when I came back here with that girl the night I destroyed the furniture I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t sleep with some stranger I didn’t care about, when the only person I do care about left me and stopped talking to me. I thought we were going to stay friends but you didn’t keep that end of the bargain. You broke so many promises to me... I was a complete wreck for a two years, I reunited with Shannon at a time when I was just trying to get through losing you. She was my life savior, but not my life saver. You are my life line and that never changed.” The more he talked the more she sobbed. She went from tearing up to full on sobs.

It takes a few minutes to calm down from this emotional high. But, when they did he pulls her face towards his and kisses her again. That is the second time this night they make love. They don’t stop until well into the early morning. 4 am, to be exact.

END OF FLASHBACK 

God, what a night they had. They were so clingy with each other all night not wanting to let each other go, so more than one round of love making was needed. But, the morning after left Barney in a pickle. What is he going to do? He needed to get rid/hide any of Robin’s possessions which means her jacket, her purse, her shirt the one he took off her last night. And her cellphone which was still on the coffee table where she put it when they came back to his apartment yesterday afternoon.

It’s, 30 minutes now until Shannon arrives with Ellie. Robin seems to be still asleep, he really did wear her out last night, that third time was more faster and harder. She wanted it hard and fast so he gave that to her, that fourth round was more of a slower paced. That was when they knew they were too tired to continue. He slows down inside her and just rides in and out slowly as they just make out. It was a very sweet and personal moment between them. This is the moment during the night when they can talk to each other without being overworked up from sex. And they had four rounds.

They say I love you to each other again after saying it early that night. Then he pulls out of her and they lay side by side calming from the multiple rounds. He pulled her into him and instantly with their arms around each other they fall asleep.

At, any moment he could face the music or lie to Shannon. Maybe not say anything at all. He hopes that she doesn’t say anything about the wedding or seeing Robin.

In, the bedroom Robin had just started to move in the bed turning on her back and opening her eyes. She looks around and sees that Barney isn’t next to her. She feels a little chilly so she pulls up the blanket over her then looks around the bedroom. The bedroom still looks the same, only difference is is this bed. Which is comfortable as their bed was but isn’t their bed. Although, now it kind of is since she’s the only female he had slept with in this bed.

Robin sits up on the bed after a few minutes of waking up. She stretches and yawns a little. Last night was... absolutely perfect. But she knows it was wrong for them to sleep together because he isn’t single and she doesn’t think he will be anytime soon. She really doesn’t want to face Shannon after what happened between her and Barney’s maybe another time but not yet. However, for the first time in years she finally feels rested. It really was an incredible and surreal night after the last three emotional days.

In the living room Barney had just put Robin’s purse in the linen closet by the kitchen. With five minutes to go until Shannon arrives he closes the closet door. But not too soon because there is a knock at his door.

It’s time to face or not face the music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long updating this story. I was blanking on what to do with this chapter but I like what this chapter was supposed to be about. In the next chapters as mentioned above Shannon will be in the story more and things with BR are going to be hard for sometime. But, they will get through it all. I will have the gang in the story as well after the next chapter so stay tuned... I hope you enjoy this story so far.


	7. The Morning After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the chapter with Shannon after this Shannon will be in the story more so if anyone knows her last name and the name of her son please let me know because I am going to include it in later chapters.
> 
> This chapter is the morning after they sleep together, and no this was not a dream this was real. Barney does cheat on Shannon I will be writing that soon but until then enjoy this chapter it’s a cute calm before the storm chapter.

As, Robin is in the bedroom she was about to open the bedroom door and she did for a second until she heard a knock at the front door. She goes back into the room and closes the door but keeps her ear close to the door so she could hear who is at Barney’s door. She knows that Shannon is supposed to come to drop off Ellie. That, she guessed is who knocked on the door.

“Shannon. Hi baby girl.” Is what Robin hears Barney say. Yep, Shannon is here she is definitely not going to go out there while Shannon’s here with Barney’s daughter. God, Barney’s daughter. Not her and Barney’s daughter, that thought still aches in her empty womb. But, she can’t think about that now.

She hopes that Shannon doesn’t ask about the wedding, or about if he saw her there. She’s going to remain quiet and in the bedroom at least until Shannon leaves.

“So, I will be back later after 3. As usual, I will have her for the week.” Shannon says, while she said that Robin is in the room feeling bad for Barney. He hadn’t seen Ellie in three days, but yet Shannon’s going to come back later to pick her up again and take her to her apartment downtown for a whole five days. This isn’t fair to Barney. But, this isn’t any of her business. What Shannon and Barney agree on or do for their daughter isn’t her business and she should stay out of it.

“Shannon, come on. I haven’t seen her in three days can’t we have some more time together? I missed her.” He says his voice breaks when he says he misses Ellie which breaks Robin’s heart. He should get to see his daughter more than a day. But, she is going to stay out of it.

The baby girl, had woken up this morning screaming crying. Shannon tried everything to get her to calm down but nothing worked. She thought she had that breakdown because she wanted to see her daddy. It took a whole hour to get Ellie to calm so she could get her ready to go to Barney’s but Shannon could tell that by the time she got to Barney’s apartment she calmed then immediately started to giggle when Barney reaches out to take her from Shannon. The little girl did miss Barney so Shannon thinks about it for a minute and thought why not? Barney hasn’t seen Ellie for three days and the little girl is clinging to Barney and giggles as Barney tickles her belly. Yeah, Barney should get to have some more time with Ellie.

“Alright, fine. Barney, Ellie can stay until tomorrow night.” That is a huge relief to him, and Robin too because she was a minute away from going out there and telling Shannon off for not allowing Barney to be with his daughter longer. But she controlled her impulses and smiled after Shannon decides to let Barney be with Ellie until tomorrow night.

“Thank you.” Barney says smiling at Shannon then his daughter.

“You hear that, Ellie? We get some more time together.” Barney is so happy that Shannon didn’t fight him on this. Maybe she’s going to let him share full custody at some point, which is what he wanted but she didn’t want.

The little girl spits out a bubble smiling as a baby does and she clearly knows that she gets to see her father longer than a few hours.

“So, how did the wedding go?” Shannon asks and immediately Barney stops bouncing Ellie and looks at her trying his best to not give away that he saw Robin at the wedding, they talked, well yelled at each other and then they talked again and spent the day yesterday together, had gone to find a new apartment for Robin and he’s the co-renter on her lease. And, that they just had a wonderful night together talking and they found out that they both regret the divorce and then slept together. And Robin is still here, hopefully still asleep...

“It was nice, to see everyone we haven’t all been together in years it was a nice lovely wedding. Ted and Tracy are happily on their honeymoon right now.” He keeps rambling but finally stops because he knows he might slip up if he continues to talk.

“That’s nice.” Barney hopes that she doesn’t say anything more...

“Yeah, it was.” He says thinking about Robin and what happened in the last few days.

“That’s nice, Ted and Tracy seem like a nice couple. Anyway, I got to get going but I will be back after work tomorrow.” Barney is so relieved that Shannon didn’t say anything more than this. Last night and the last three days is really hard to explain right now.

“Okay.” Barney says with Ellie still in his arms.

The little girl had fallen asleep as he bounced her so she’s still tired from getting up early screaming at the top of her lungs.

As, Shannon leaves Robin opens the door in the bedroom and goes out to the living room. Barney goes to put Ellie in the playpen over in the corner by the book shelf.

“Good morning.” Robin says pretending that she didn’t just hear everything that Shannon and Barney were talking about.

“Morning.” He says after putting Ellie down for a nap.

Robin, goes over to the coffee maker and gets her Canada mug from the cabinet and pours a cup of coffee for herself then turns to see Barney looking at her.

“So, did you hear any of what just happened?” Barney asks wanting to know if Robin heard what just went on between him and Shannon.

“Yeah, kind of.” She didn’t know if she should tell him that she heard the whole conversation between him and Shannon and kind of wanted to slap Shannon. But she won’t say that part.

“I’m so relieved that she didn’t say anything else about the wedding or this weekend.” He walks over to Robin who had just sat down on the couch.

“Me too.” Robin says kind of slipping about the fact that she had been listening Barney and Shannon’s entire conversation.

“So you did hear the conversation?” He says not surprised that she had been listening to what Shannon and he was talking about.

“Yes, I heard it all. I can’t believe she is holding you back from seeing your daughter.” She wants to state her opinion on this because she didn’t like the way Shannon seemed to talk to him, like he wasn’t important in his own daughter’s life. It’s wrong and disrespectful to both Barney and Ellie.

“It’s not like that. Shannon’s just protective, we share custody so she sees Ellie more and we have an agreement on when I can see Ellie. During the week Ellie’s with her and on weekends she’s with me. That’s how it’s been since Ellie was born.” Barney didn’t like the idea of sharing custody with Shannon, it made no sense to him at first. But then Shannon explained to him that since they aren’t living together in the same place it would be difficult to be with Ellie at different times. Since, he works during the week Shannon takes Ellie and on weekends he takes her while Shannon works. The plan seemed to work, but Barney misses Ellie during the week and it’s hard not to speak up and tell Shannon that this agreement they agreed on is not working anymore.

“But, isn’t that a little unfair to you? It seemed like Ellie was clingy with you before, she didn’t want to let you go.” Robin doesn’t really like that Shannon wanted this custody arrangement it seems like it’s hard on Barney.

“I’m used to it. Yes I miss Ellie all the time when she’s with Shannon but like I said Shannon doesn’t want to move in here with me so I don’t say anything about the agreement we share. It’s joint custody it’s not like I never see her at all.” Robin could tell that this custody arrangement isn’t working for Barney. He should get to see and be around his daughter every day not see her only two times a week. That’s not fair to either one of them.

“She’s controlling you, she’s controlling your life and when you get to see your daughter. That’s wrong, you should always get to be with your daughter and I could tell that that little girl loves you. Maybe this arrangement you have needs to be talked over because it’s clear that it’s not working for you.” Robin places her hand on his leg to show him some comfort and understanding. She just doesn’t like this situation and doesn’t trust Shannon. She doesn’t really know the woman but she knows when someone like her is trying to manipulate a situation where the woman is setting these rules. 

At that moment the little girl in question starts calling out for Barney by crying. He gets up from the couch and goes over to the playpen to get Ellie. He picks her up and immediately after a couple of bounces the girl stops crying. Robin, is sitting there watching the scene play out and sees how natural of a father Barney is. If she was this little girl’s mother or if it’s their kids she would never ask Barney to share custody because she loves him too much to ever keep their kid or kids away from their father. It’s just not fair to either parent or kid.

Barney, walks back over to the couch with a now calm Ellie in his arms and sits down next to Robin.

“So, Ellie I like you to meet Robin. Robin, Scherbatsky meet Ellie.” Robin reaches out her hand and shakes the little girls delicate hand.

“Hi, Ellie it’s finally nice to meet such a gorgeous girl like yourself.” The little girl smiles lightly and then reaches out to touch Robin’s shoulder. The three month old already likes her aunt, that makes Barney very happy.

“She looks just like you Barney.” Robin says tearing up a little at how much Ellie looks like Barney. Not everything looks like him but there are a tone of Barney features that stand out to her. Like her eyes, her eyes are all Barney. Her forehead and cheeks, and her hair is blond plus her ears are like Barney’s too. It just hits her that this kid is really Barney’s daughter.

“Aw, Robin you’re crying. What’s wrong?” He was going to smile and say thank you for her compliment about Ellie but then she starts crying and what he originally wanted to say goes out the window.

“Nothing, she’s just beautiful.” She says wiping her hand over her eyes. “She just looks like you it’s a little too real now.” She says finishing what she wanted to say.

“Yeah, a lot of people say that.” Ellie only has Shannon’s nose, lips and chin everything else is all Barney.

“I’m just a little overwhelmed meeting your daughter. I’ll be fine though.” She says trying to control her emotions.

Barney hands her a tissue and smiles.

“She seems to like you.” He continues to smile at Robin and Ellie bonding it’s really a sweet moment for him. The woman he loves being so gentle and caring towards his daughter it really makes him wonder what if? He had imagined that Ellie is his and Robin’s daughter a lot when Ellie was first born. Robin’s really good with her already...

“You want to hold her?” He asks just because he wants to see his daughter bond with the woman who maybe could be her step mother.

“Yeah, that would be nice.” She used to be so scared to hold babies but not this baby. This baby is Barney’s baby and that’s more important to her than being scared to hold a baby.

Barney gets up and then places Ellie into Robin’s extended arms and she takes the little girl without being nervous that she will break her. The little girl looks at her, staring as Robin stares back in awe of Barney’s daughter in her arms.

“You’re a natural with her. She likes you, she usually doesn’t take to strangers well but you, she’s really calm and it seems like she’s trying to admire you.” Barney didn’t want Robin to freak out while holding Ellie so he explains to her that Ellie isn’t always so happy to be held by other people, people she doesn’t know. But, Robin seems to be different, maybe it’s because Ellie feels something good about Robin’s presence.

“Well, she’s really quite the observer. She likes my necklace.” Robin’s necklace isn’t really a necklace, it’s a chain that she had been wearing for quite sometime. She hadn’t told anyone about this necklace/chain, not even Barney because the necklace is connected to him. But she might have to since Ellie’s playing with it.

She had been wearing her engagement ring around her neck for the last three years. She had it off prior to finding out about Barney becoming a father, but then she put it back on and hadn’t taken it off since that day. The only time she did take it off was for the wedding. But, Robin had it in her luggage in Barney’s closet and had put it on while Barney was talking with Shannon. Until, now she was trying to keep this a secret but the more that Ellie keeps playing with the chain the more it started to peak out of her top.

“Ellie, stop playing with the necklace.” Barney says trying to pull his daughters hand away from Robin’s neck.

“No, it’s fine.” Robin says taking the necklace out from her top revealing to Barney that she has a little place in her heart for him around her neck. Which he knows already (her heart is this ring), but the chain and ring he didn’t know about.

“Is that what I think it is?” Barney asks shocked to see her engagement ring around her neck.

“Yeah. It’s a long story but I kept the ring.” She says with the ring now in her hand. The chain is still on her neck because she can’t take it off while holding Ellie.

“I didn’t even know you still had it.” It’s really sweet that Robin still has her engagement ring and didn’t give it back or done something else with it. She’s had it all these years...

“Well, I did. Do you really think I would just get rid of something that means everything to me?” He shakes his head and shrugs.

“I don’t know, I just thought you would have pawned it or something.” After what happened to their relationship he was sure she had gotten rid of it by now, but she didn’t and that’s really something he couldn’t begin to describe. This definitely means she was being honest about not regretting the night they had after they signed the divorce papers.

“No, I would never do that. This is a family heirloom, it’s a piece of your family that means it will always be a piece of me... because you are my family.” That just makes him love her more than he already does.

“Wow, you really have been in love with me all this time, haven’t you?” He is completely shocked but also a little emotional. This was so real now, what they have has always been real and this is just proof that they will always love each other no matter what.

“I have and you know I never stopped.” He leans into her while she is still holding his daughter and kisses her on the lips.

He pulls away after a minute because it’s awkward to kiss Robin in front of his daughter.

“Come here Ellie, let’s get you something to eat.” Barney says taking Ellie from Robin.

He brings her over to her high chair and places her in it while Robin collects herself from the moment she just had. They’re in love, there’s nothing that can tell them that they aren’t but with Shannon it’s just, it’s still complicated and Robin nor Barney wants to screw that up. Especially because it seems like Shannon’s using his daughter against him in someway, Robin doesn’t want to come between Barney and his daughter so she wants them to control themselves around Ellie and when Shannon finds out that Robin did go to the wedding and a lot of things happened after that. She really doesn’t want to face Shannon, so being discreet is best for them and Barney and Ellie at least for now.

Robin, goes over to the kitchen sink and puts her mug into it then turns to see Barney feeding Ellie.

“I know this is weird, but I hope this doesn’t make things even weirder.” She says regarding their moment a little bit ago.

“What we did last night was more weirder than anything. Well not weird just normal. There’s nothing weird about our relationship but I get what you’re saying. We can’t keep doing this not while Ellie’s here.” It’s like he read her mind, this is exactly what she was trying to say.

“Yeah, we can’t continue being intimate like this in front of her. So let’s try to control our impulses.” He just nods and continue feeding Ellie

“Can I do that? Can I feed her, I mean you must be still tired from last night?” Robin says now standing in front of him and Ellie.

“Sure, come sit. She’s really a good eater, she likes almost everything that I or Shannon give her so that won’t be any problem.” He gets up and Robin sits in front of Ellie and starts to feed her.

“I should go take a shower, will you be alright watching her for a few minutes?” He asks, he hadn’t had anytime to take a shower in two days and really needs one. He’s also tired too but the shower is more needed than rest.

“Yes, I will be fine. We will be fine. Go take a shower.” Barney thanks her and then goes running to the bedroom to take as quick of a shower as he can while Robin is still feeding Ellie.

Despite, the last three days and this morning with Shannon there is nothing at all that will ever make either one of them regret what happened last night. Barney and Robin know full well how they feel for each other but for now things need to be discreet while Ellie’s around. Thank goodness Ellie doesn’t know what’s happening around her or they would be in big trouble.


	8. The Arrangement Isn’t Working

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is part one of two chapters. I said that Shannon will be in this in the present, this is the first chapter with her in it. There’s some BR/Ellie interaction that is important to the story. I just want to point out that Barney is in love with Robin but it’s very complicated with Shannon in the picture. And it gets even more complicated in the next few chapters. 
> 
> I am taking a break with writing for a couple of weeks after posting the next chapter which is part 2 of this chapter. So, I hope you all have enjoyed this story. More to come soon!

Sunday, had gone nicely for Barney, Robin and Ellie. As the day went on, Barney wanted to take Ellie to the park because it was a nice day so they all went to the nearest park to enjoy the weather and to let Ellie play. They spend a couple of hours watching Ellie enjoy the things in the park, then got some ice cream. Robin, saw just how good Barney is with being a father. It kind of overwhelmed her for a minute because he really is a natural father and is very playful and fun like he always has been with Ellie. She’s only three months old there’s not much she could do at this age but the little girl loves the sand, the slide and the sprinklers that were on in the park. She’s a little too young for the swings but those other things, Ellie loved them and she also loves playing with her father. 

After, the park they go back to the apartment and have dinner. They had just started a movie when Shannon suddenly calls Barney to check in with him to see how Ellie is doing.

“Shannon, why are you calling?” Barney asks once he picked up after seeing the ID on his phone.

Robin, is sitting right next to him on the couch, they had to put the TV on mute so that he could talk to Shannon. If she knew that Robin is with him and is staying at his apartment for the next few days she won’t like that. So Barney is trying to be discreet as possible to not give away that Robin has been here this whole time.

“Uh, huh. So you’re calling me because you want to see how Ellie is doing?” Barney says a little annoyed that Shannon seems to not trust him alone with Ellie.

“No, she’s fine. She just went to sleep. Long day, we went to the park.” Barney has been really happy lately and it has nothing to do with Shannon. He is happy because Robin is here and they have been hanging out for the last two days.

“God, why do you have to be so protective? She’s fine, we went out and had fun it was a nice day. What’s the big deal?” Barney rolls his eyes, leave it to Shannon to change his upbeat and happy mood.

“We were only outside for two hours.” He is explaining to Shannon that Ellie was only out in the sun for two hours and it wasn’t too bright, plus he put sunscreen on her before leaving the apartment.

“Whatever, see you tomorrow.” He hangs up before Shannon could say anything else.

“What is her problem? I have been nothing more than a great father to Ellie but Shannon still doesn’t trust me with her.” He is mad, so mad after being incredibly happy for the last two days. Shannon has become the person he knew she always was... a bitch, a controlling bitch who doesn’t trust him to be alone with his daughter.

“I know, you have been a wonderful father to Ellie. She’s lucky to have you.” Robin feels so bad for Barney, he doesn’t deserve to be treated the way Shannon treats him. Robin knows what a great father Barney is, she’s seen it this whole day. He loves that little girl and she loves him. They were both so happy today at the park. Shannon needs to back off, Robin was going to be quiet on this subject but the more Shannon disrespects Barney, the more Robin wants to say something.

“I just don’t know what to do anymore. She’s been like this ever since Ellie was born. It was her idea to have the custody arrangement, I didn’t want it. I still don’t want it but she doesn’t want to change her mind on this. I should get to see my daughter more, not just two days a week but every day.” Robin knows that Barney wants to be in Ellie’s life more, because his own father abandoned him. He doesn’t want for Ellie to grow up the way he did, without a father in her life. This is really not fair to either Barney or Ellie.

“I know. I tried to be quiet on this and not say anything but maybe you should stand up to Shannon and tell her what you’re feeling. That’s the only way to be in Ellie’s life more. Ellie needs you around, not just for a couple of days but for the next 18 years. Even more than 18 years, especially now. That little girl loves you and you should get to be with her all the time.” She had noticed that Barney had gotten emotional over this topic. It’s a real tough situation and Robin’s now just seeing what she hadn’t for the last three years.

“She’s never going to change her mind. I asked her three times to change her mind but she doesn’t trust me. She never said that she doesn’t trust me I just know that she doesn’t with the way she is with Ellie.” Barney doesn’t want to lose Ellie that’s why he kept agreeing with what Shannon wanted. But he’s getting sick of her not trusting him and he’s not happy when he should be.

“Just, try talking with her. I’m sure she will reason with you, for Ellie’s sake.” Robin tries to calm him down and comfort him as best as she can but he just breaks down and it makes her pull him into her for a hug.

“Hey, I know this is a hard situation but the only way to change this arrangement is to talk to Shannon.” Robin says this after a few minutes of trying to calm him down. This was too hard on Barney and it makes Robin just as mad.

“I will try.” He says with a slight smile after he collects his emotions and wipes his face from crying.

For, the rest of the night Barney and Robin continue to watch the movie they started before Shannon called. They both try to forget what happened with Shannon and enjoy watching the movie. Ellie is in her bedroom, which is the second bedroom in the apartment so she will likely be out for the rest of the night.

As, Barney and Robin snuggle up on the couch Barney starts to think about other things, not what’s going on with Shannon right now, but his relationship with Shannon. It had been easygoing at first, it was nice to just be her friend. When they first started to be friends, Barney liked having someone to talk to. Since his friends were all off doing their own things and Robin was traveling, they barely saw each other. It was only that one time when the divorce papers were signed. But, Shannon was a nice distraction from always thinking about Robin.

FLASHBACK 

“So, tell me. What have you been doing since the last time we saw each other?” Shannon asks, she had invited him over two days after they reunited at Starbucks. She had missed him all these years that’s why she kept that tape he made her. He really was the last real relationship she had, surprisingly he was her first boyfriend as well.

“Well, like I mentioned the other day. I had gotten married, but we had just ended things, we just got a divorce so that morning the other day I had just kind of did something crazy in my apartment and had to get out of the apartment for a bit.” He doesn’t tell her that he was so upset that Robin hadn’t called or anything after they slept together and cut up/destroyed his furniture. Which included the bed he and Robin bought together.

“What did you do?” Shannon asks, wanting to know what Barney did that was crazy.

“I was upset, so I ripped my bed and couch apart. So I need a new bed and couch.” She feels bad for him. She puts a hand over his as a friendly ‘I’m sorry’ gesture and he smiles weakly.

“Anyway, my ex wife and I had just signed the divorce papers.” Barney feels like crying but he doesn’t instead he tries to remove his hand from Shannon’s because it got a little awkward.

“I just, I really loved her. But, I can’t dwell on that right now. I am glad you invited me over, my friends are having their own lives and I don’t see them much anymore. I’m glad we ran into each other the other day.” That day, Barney and Shannon started up a really nice friendship but shortly after that, well not shortly. A year later, they began to sleep with each other and their relationship changed. They did fall for each other again, all because of one reason.

END OF FLASHBACK 

Two years ago!

“Why did you keep that tape?” He asks wanting to know why Shannon had kept that tape of him singing to win her back after she broke up with him. He never asked her why she kept that, it was really quite embarrassing even his best friends made fun of him and it.

“I, it’s quite a long story. But, when you sent me that tape, Greg saw it. Yes, we kind of made fun of it but I felt bad and regretful for the way I had broken up with you. I didn’t want to throw it out so I kept it in my closet at my apartment. I eventually did move out of that apartment after Greg and I broke up. He had cheated on me multiple times so I had enough and I broke up with him. I never got around to giving it back to you or getting rid of it so I kept it because I regretted the way I ended our relationship. I had thought of you in those years before I saw you again before I gave that tape to your friend. But, before that when I became pregnant with my son I started to do some reflecting and realized that I was wrong for breaking up with you. You were my first real boyfriend, my first love. I never forgot that so when I saw you again years later I knew that giving you that tape was my way of apologizing for what happened with us when we were younger. I was stupid, young, naive and thought I wanted some rich asshole who treated me horribly. I never should have left you for Greg and I’m glad you got him arrested for all the treason and awful things he did at GNB. He deserved it...” this is the first time since their breakup that Shannon confesses her real feelings for breaking up wth Barney and, even though he had moved on to meet his soulmate. Shannon was his first love, and that always meant something to him.

That night, they start sleeping together and begin a relationship. It is complicated but they both felt like they needed this fresh start. And it was a new beginning for them, but when Shannon became pregnant she changed.

END OF FLASHBACK 

And, now Barney is holding himself back from telling Shannon how he feels about her not trusting him with Ellie. He is done being quiet on this, he needs to speak his mind and he will do it tomorrow when he sees Shannon.

Barney and Robin fall asleep as they watch the movie and it wasn’t until 1 am when they hear Ellie crying that they woke up.

“I get it, why don’t you go to the bedroom and I will be there after I see what Ellie needs.” He is so grateful to have this wonderful woman in his life. His one true real love, he loves her for changing his life and becoming the man he is now. His change had nothing to do with Shannon or Ellie, maybe a little bit. But, he changed when he married Robin and that is the real change in his life that he needed all this time, not Shannon. Robin Charles Sherbatsky-Stinson, he is so glad she didn’t stop using the name Stinson. She will always be his Mrs.

A half hour later, after Robin changes Ellie’s diaper and sings her back to sleep. Robin meets Barney in the bedroom, ready to go back to sleep herself.

Barney, is already asleep when she gets into bed. It’s been quite the two days, from finding her new apartment to spending the day together with Ellie. Robin truly finally after four years of regret. Is finally happy, and will be there for Barney from now on.

The, next day Robin gets up at 7 and Barney is still passed out in the bedroom asleep. Robin has to meet with her boss in two hours and doesn’t know where her phone is or her bag. With, Barney still sleeping she tries looking for these items but can’t find them.

“Uh, what are you doing?” Barney asks a few minutes later watching Robin running around the bedroom looking for something.

“I’m looking for my phone, and my purse do you know where they are?” She is so flustered and going crazy looking for these items it’s been driving her crazy for the last 40 minutes.

“Your phone is in the utensil draw in the kitchen and your purse is in the linen closet. I had to hide your things yesterday morning because of Shannon.” Robin runs out of the room after saying uh huh very loudly. She does find what she’s looking for in those exact places.

Barney follows her out to the living room wondering where she’s running off to at this time in the morning. He should be at work today but since he wanted more time with Ellie he’s taking the day off. He needs to call his boss soon but first...

“Where are you off to?” He asks watching Robin play with her phone.

“I have to go talk to my boss in an hour. I am going back to work. He told me to tell him when I’m ready to go back and now I am.” As she talked Barney goes over to get some freshly made coffee in which Robin had made.

At, that moment Ellie wakes up and Barney goes to get her.

When, Barney brings Ellie out to the living room Robin is almost ready to leave.

“Hey, Ellie.” She says sweetly, she was like a pro early this morning getting the little girl to go back to sleep. She changed a diaper, that’s something she wouldn’t normally do but Barney was upset and too tired to change Ellie himself so Robin had to do it and then she had to get her back to sleep. Robin got her back to sleep about 2.

Barney hands Ellie over to Robin who is inviting her into her arms.

“How was your night? I see you slept well.” Robin says this to Ellie and Barney laughs to himself, he completely loves this woman and desperately wants to kiss her right now.

The little girl gargles a bubble and smiles, while Robin bounces her and talks to her.

Barney goes over to Robin and takes Ellie from her before Ellie spits up on her clothes. Which are really nice, the ever efficient Robin Scherbatsky-Stinson becoming the kick ass boss that she is. He really is proud of how far she had come with her career.

Barney, puts Ellie in her high chair so that he could feed her breakfast but the feeling of wanting to kiss Robin did not pass, so he goes back over to Robin who is standing by the front door.

He kisses her without any warning. After, the shock of being kissed wore off she kisses him back. The kiss grows more and they really did want more, but she has to pull away because she needs to go to the office.

“I got to go. But, save those lips for later.” She says with a wink, turned on with wanting him. She knows she can’t do anything more at this moment but still wants to continue this later on today.

“I’ll be waiting.” He winks back causing her to laugh, then she opens the door...

“Shannon?” Robin says surprised to see Shannon standing in front of her. She thought she was going to pick up Ellie later.

Robin had never met Shannon but she knows who she is, so she knew right away that it is Shannon. And, a very shocked Shannon. They tried to keep this a secret but it didn’t last long.


	9. The Good and The Bad News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote this chapter differently than I intended to. What I did was I wanted for the stuff that comes out in this chapter to be a later chapter but I decided to write this in now because there is much more drama ahead in the story and will get quite emotional. This chapter deals with what Shannon is going through in her life and since becoming a mom. But, I started out this chapter with something else however I did get what I wanted to for this particular chapter and part of the story.

“Shannon, what are you doing here?” Barney is shocked that Shannon is at his door when she was supposed to pick Ellie up later in the afternoon. He tries to not show the nerves he has right now about Shannon coming face to face with Robin.

“I came to pick up Ellie, but it seems like I came at a bad time.” Shannon doesn’t know Robin, they never met until now. But Shannon has seen her on the news and knows her face. 

“You said that you were coming this afternoon. I thought I was going to spend the morning with her.” It’s things like this that makes Barney question Shannon’s motives. She said that he could get more time with Ellie but it seems like he was right. Shannon doesn’t trust him alone with his daughter and that makes him mad.

“I am going to work, I wanted to come pick her up early to take her to my mothers.” Shannon explains why she’s here but Barney doesn’t buy that excuse.

“Again, you said I can have more time with her that means I can spend the morning with Ellie.” As Barney and Shannon talk, Robin stands there listening the conversation feeling like she needs to say something because she doesn’t like Shannon’s attitude when it comes to Barney being a father to his daughter.

“I want to take her to my mothers.” Shannon says again going over to where Ellie is which is at the dining table in her high chair.

“As, you can see I was about to feed her. So, she’s not going anywhere.” Barney says now speaking up about Shannon wanting to take Ellie when she is fine and is about to eat breakfast. It was time to say something before Shannon does anything else, or Shannon will just take her no matter what he says. He is not staying quiet on this anymore.

“Um, Barney I’m going to get going see you soon.” Robin announces, she wants to leave before she says something that she will likely regret. If she stays any longer she will say something to Shannon but she doesn’t want to get into that right now, she’s already late to catch her boss before he’s busy.

“Bye. Robin!” He says trying to not give away that Robin has been here for a few days now and she’s staying in his apartment before moving into hers later this week.

As soon as Robin leaves Barney closes the door a minute later, and the minute the door closed Shannon went off.

“What was she doing here?” And here it goes, Shannon asking about Robin when she was just arguing over taking Ellie to her mothers.

“She wanted to talk to me, she was in the neighborhood so she stopped by to tell me that she is back in New York.” Barney tries to explain what Robin was doing here but knows that Shannon changed the subject because she doesn’t want to let him have more time with Ellie.

“But, that doesn’t matter. You don’t trust me to take care my daughter and I’m sick of it.” He is fed up with following her every demand while she doesn’t live up to her end of the bargain, meaning their daughter. She doesn’t trust him to be a father to Ellie and that’s his real problem here. There’s no more staying quiet on this subject and he is not going to explain having Robin back in his life.

“Barney, it isn’t like I don’t trust you. I just want to bring her to my mothers while I go to work.” That doesn’t make sense, why can’t she let him watch Ellie for the rest of the day, why does she need to bring her to her mothers?

“Why can’t Ellie just stay here? You said you would pick her up at 3 what changed?” Barney doesn’t want to yell at her because of Ellie being present but he feels that rage coming and he won’t be taken lightly. This needs to be talked about even if this leads to a big fight.

“I thought it would be better to bring her to my mothers because she’s going to be watching her for the next few days. I have an appointment tomorrow and will be away the rest of this week.” She didn’t want to tell him this but she just might have to.

“What appointment?, “and why are you going to be away this week?” His voice calms and settles on a lower temperament wondering why Shannon looks quite serious about something.

“A doctors appointment, I want my mother to watch Ellie while I go to this appointment.” Barney still wonders what this appointment is for.

“What is the appointment for?” After this question Shannon goes to sit down on the couch still looking serious about this appointment.

“It’s a therapist.” The symptoms that she has had in the last three months have been getting worse. So, her mother and people around her had noticed her different moods and the way she’s been acting since Ellie was born. She didn’t realize these symptoms until recently and didn’t want to deal with them until her family noticed these symptoms and told her that she needs help.

“A therapist? What for, why are you seeing a therapist?” Barney sits down now serious and even tempered. He puts his feelings about Ellie aside for now to see what is going on with Shannon.

“I have postpartum depression. I am seeing a doctor to help me with it. My mother had notice the way I had been acting with my manic moods and over protectiveness with Ellie. I have had this since Ellie was born. That’s why I’ve been so protective of Ellie and who she’s around, even you. I know you’re a wonderful father to her and you have shown me that you can take care of her. So, while I see the therapist tomorrow she can stay here. In fact, could you take her for the week? I need sometime by myself. I was afraid to admit to myself and to anyone what I had been going through for three months.” This is a shocking development. He was so upset and mad about Shannon not trusting him enough to have more time with Ellie. But, this is not what he expected to find out.

“Wow, Shannon. I’m, I had no idea you were going through that. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” His mood had changed so quickly once Shannon explained what she had been going through. If he knew what she was feeling he would have been there for her.

“I, didn’t really know what I was going through myself. I had been around my family, two weeks ago. If you remember I went to visit my parents. I had been acting manic and moody so my mother saw the way I was acting. I have been very protective and didn’t want people around Ellie. I would get mad whenever someone holds her or even touches her. I wasn’t like that with my son, but with Ellie. I don’t know what happened.” As she explained what is going on with her, she had been crying. She’s never felt this kind of emotion before but something within her causes her to react to her daughter or people around her. It’s been difficult to admit these symptoms but she feels better now that Barney knows.

“Hey, I understand.” He says pulling her into a hug. This really changes everything he thought he wanted to say to her about Ellie.

“It was really hard for me to admit what I was feeling so I’m getting the help I need to help these postpartum symptoms.” Shannon says a few minutes later after they pull apart from their hug.

“Well, I will be there for you, and for Ellie. You are her mother, it’s important that she has you in her life.” She finally smiles for the first time in a long time glad that Barney is being supportive with this diagnosis.

“I will take Ellie for the week. So, where and what are you going to do while you take the time you need to heal?” He is glad that he’s going to be with Ellie all week but still wants to know what Shannon is going to do while taking the time that she needs.

“I’m going on a meditation retreat upstate. It will help me become more relaxed and easygoing in life and with Ellie. I had liked that we did this when we were together when we were younger. It’s what I loved about our relationship back then.” It’s one of the things they had in common. He doesn’t meditate anymore but sometimes he does reflect on life. He did a lot of that after the divorce. It did help ease the pain of losing Robin, but it didn’t help cure his love for her.

Yes, he does love Shannon and it is true they had re-fell in love. But, he still knows that Robin is his true love and the one. However, Shannon has a place in his heart because of Ellie. And he wants to help her through whatever she’s going through in life because of Ellie.

“That was something I used to rely on. I don’t do a lot of meditation nowadays. But it does help to reflect on things.” The divorce did take a lot of reflecting. He was in pain from it even on that morning he ran into Shannon.

Both, Robin and Shannon have a special place in his heart for them. So he’s going to do what he can to help Shannon the way he helped her try to move on from the divorce.

“So, I will do what I can for you. But, don’t keep something like this from me. That is what happened in my marriage and it destroyed it. Keeping secrets and not being open and honest about things is important even if you aren’t in a relationship. You, know that Robin and I kept things held in during our marriage, but even before that we held things back from each other and it made both of us crazy. I don’t want what happened in my marriage and relationship to happen to us.” He is very serious about this now. Keeping things bottled up is why his marriage failed. Even though he and Robin know that it wasn’t either of their fault that their marriage collapsed. It was because they both held things back from each other and failed to communicate that is the thing that made him lose Robin.

“Okay, I won’t keep things like this from you. I know what happened with Robin. Speaking of, why was Robin here again? You didn’t really explain why she stopped by.” Oh, that was hard to explain but he is going to try to be honest now since he just said he doesn’t want to keep things from his relationship with Shannon.

“She came back to town on Saturday. She wanted to come see me. It was nothing important, just that she wanted me to know that she’s back in New York. She was just about to go to work when she was here, that’s all.” Well at least it’s the half truth in Robin being here. He can’t tell her about Robin being at the wedding and them reuniting and in a way that will likely make Shannon angry. With what she’s going through right now, he can’t tell her the whole truth.

But, this does help him relax about Robin staying at his apartment for the week because Shannon’s going away upstate.

“Okay. So I should get going I need to go pack.” Shannon says getting up from the couch and walking over to Ellie who is still sitting in her high chair waiting on Barney to feed her.

“Hey, baby girl I have to go some place for a little while. But daddy is going to be here for you. I will be back, okay.” Shannon nods her head in tears while holding Ellie.

It takes another couple of minutes saying goodbye to Ellie. Then Shannon kisses her the head and puts her back in her high chair.

“So, I will see you on Sunday. That’s when I will be back.” She says turning back to look at Barney who was watching her with their daughter.

“Okay, if you need anything just let me know.” He really means it. Shannon getting the help that she needs is important for her and for their daughter, Ellie needs both of them in her life, he’s not allowing her to grow up without a parent in her life.

“I will, but I won’t have any contacts with anyone until I come back to the city. I will come to pick Ellie up Sunday night.” She has planned this retreat on Thursday last week that is why she allowed Barney to be with Ellie for a longer time today but she was going to keep this a secret from Barney it just happened to come out at a bad time when he was feeling neglected of being with Ellie more. But it does help her ease her mind that Barney knows what’s been going on with her.

“Alright, see you Sunday. Get better okay? Ellie needs you.” He says walking her to the front door.

“Bye, Barney.”

Barney closes the door behind Shannon feeling bad for her. Yes he had to fib about Robin but he doesn’t think that Shannon could deal with Robin staying in his apartment for the week. He could not tell her and probably will never tell Shannon that he and Robin slept together and are still in love. Right now, he needs to let Shannon heal and get into the right mindset so she can be there for Ellie. This news is quite a change in what he thought about Shannon keeping Ellie from him, but it wasn’t that at all. It is a whole different thing to process but he will do it for Shannon, who needs his support.

As, the day goes on Barney does some errands and cleans the apartment and then Robin comes back to the apartment at 2pm unexpectedly she is about to get the shock of her life for the second time.

“Hey, so how was your day?” She asks as soon as she enters the apartment. Barney is sitting on the couch watching TV while Ellie had tired herself out an hour ago playing on the open mat that is placed by the kitchen, between the counter and the couch but in the view of Barney’s eyes.

He turns off the TV and gets up. “Good, and bad.” He doesn’t want to lie to her about something like this, it’s important that she knows what’s going on.

“Okay, let’s start with the good. I have something good to talk about.” And, so they sit down and begin this conversation he hopes that this doesn’t break them more than they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this postpartum depression story because I wanted Shannon to deal with the symptoms it’s a big thing in this story and it will extend the story for more chapters. I still don’t know how long this story will go yet, not sure of the chapters but it could go to about 15-20 chapters depending on how I write the next few chapters. I will be having the gang involved in this story starting with chapter 11 and then from there on the events of these next chapters will conclude the story.
> 
> I hope you’ll are enjoying this story it’s interesting to write and figure out along the way.


	10. The Shannon Problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a short chapter, I had wanted to do something else with this chapter but goofed on writing it. However I did get everything I wanted to write for this chapter in it and it turned out nicely. The next chapter begins with the gang finding out about Barney’s life, and that will also start the beginning of the end of this story. It should go about 20 chapters but I’m still not sure about that yet. Hope you’ll enjoyed this story thanks for reading.

“The good news is, my boss allowed me to come back to work. But, only if I can be the host of my own talk show. He had been thinking about giving me my own show, it would be about the news, in general it would be serious news, but also I get to do entertaining news and interview people. It would be five days a week, Monday through Friday at 7pm. So, I basically get all day off. I don’t have to wake up on early mornings, I don’t have to do the news late at night, although sometimes I will have to. Like for the elections. The hours are really good, it will help me get back into working full time again.” They are sitting on the couch talking after Robin came back from meeting with her boss, who had just been given her an opportunity to host her own news show. Barney is really happy for her, this is what her real dream has been. To host her own news show, it wasn’t traveling around the world doing international news. It is anchoring her own news show. 

“Wow, that’s awesome. So, did you take the opportunity?” This is really a great opportunity for her, she seemed happy about this as she was telling him about it. So he thinks she did take this new job which is really a bigger career change than doing the correspondent news.

“I did. It’s a really great opportunity for me. It’s something that I’ve always wanted to do with my career. I had done the news by myself in the past and I liked it. That job with Come On, Wake Up New York was the first time I got to work alone. I didn’t have a co-host to annoy me, you helped me get that job and now I get to do it all on my own.” This is really great for her, he’s proud of her.

But, despite the happiness he feels for her. He has something else on his mind and needs to tell her so she knows that he needs to help Shannon in her time of need. Now that Robin is established in a job again, she’s happy and doesn’t need him like Shannon does at this time. He had been thinking about this though since Shannon left, he can’t keep something so important like this from Robin so he needs to tell her so that she knows what’s going on. Plus, Robin was concerned about his parental rights towards Ellie so he needs to tell her what’s going on.

“So, what was your news? You had mentioned that you have some good news and bad news to tell me. What happened with Shannon when I left earlier?” She wants to know what went down between Barney and Shannon when she left to go talk to her boss earlier today. 

“Well, the good news is that I get to have the whole rest of this week with Ellie.” That is fantastic she had worried that Shannon actually took Ellie earlier.

“That’s great, so is Ellie still here?” She asks wondering where his daughter is at the moment.

“Yeah, she’s in her bedroom asleep.” Ellie had gone to sleep, finally after he played with her earlier this afternoon, Ellie’s been asleep since 1 and hasn’t yet called for him which is good because the little girl was tired from playing around with him for three hours.

“Good, that’s good. So what’s the bad news?” Robin asks wanting to know why he looked serious before when she first walked into the apartment, he had been sitting on the couch looking to be in a daze about something, like he was thinking really hard about something.

“So, Shannon did want to take Ellie. She wanted her mother to watch her, her mother lives in Connecticut. But, I had put my foot down on that. Then I found out why Shannon has been so protective over Ellie. Ever since she was born, Shannon was not trusting of other people holding her or watching her. The only ones who were allowed to do those things with Ellie were me and Shannon’s mother. And, even with me she was overly protective of what I do with her or how I held Ellie. She had been going through something that I didn’t even realize what it was until now. She didn’t know what was going on with her either until her mother and family had seen her overreacting to anyone being around Ellie. Shannon told me that she was diagnosed with Postpartum depression. She has these symptoms that kept getting worse in the last couple of months. This is why she hadn’t been so trusting with me regarding Ellie’s safety.” Wow, that is something that Robin didn’t expect. Shannon being diagnosed with PPD is really sad. She had read on PPD and some women get severely depressed and usually don’t want to be around their baby. But, there are other women who get overly protective and don’t want to let other people be around their child even if it’s people the mother knows or in this case the child’s father.

“Oh, Barney I’m so sorry to hear that. PPD is very serious, so what is going on now? Is she getting any help with these symptoms?” She asks this because the problems that Shannon has could only get worse.

“Yeah, she’s getting help. The reason she came by here today was because she was going to take Ellie to her mother’s in Connecticut for her to watch Ellie then she had an appointment with a therapist. But, she is also going to be away for the rest of the week upstate, she’s going to a retreat. It’s a meditation retreat, so she is getting the help and relaxation that she needs because she needs to be there for Ellie.” Robin‘s shocked by this turn of events. She really did think that Shannon was holding Barney’s daughter against him in someway. But it wasn’t that at all, it’s because Shannon was struggling with Postpartum depression.

“I’m, really quite shocked by this. It’s not something I thought was going on with Ellie. But it’s good that Shannon’s getting the help she needs.” Robin feels bad for both Barney and Shannon. It’s sad that Shannon is going through this tough time.

“Me either, it came as a shock to me too. I was really upset more like angry with Shannon but when she told me what was going on with her I had to stop what I was feeling to be supportive, and I am supportive. I don’t want Ellie to not have her mother in her life, so being supportive and caring is what I need to be in this situation.” Of course he does, this is very serious and needs to be dealt with in a sensitive and supportive way.

“So, what does all of this mean for us?” Robin wants to know what is going to happen now that Shannon told him what she was going through.

It’s definitely a sad situation but she’s worried that this is going to keep them apart for more longer than she wants.

“Well, you can still stay here for the rest of the week. With Shannon away, she won’t find out the real reason why you were here earlier today.” Barney wants to have Robin in his life, he is not going through life anymore without her in it. So he wants her to be in his life and Ellie’s too. She has always been important in his life and now she’s important in Ellie’s life. He doesn’t want them to be more distant with each other that’s why he told her that he has been dating Shannon and Ellie is her daughter and not some random woman’s.

“Did she say anything about me being here?” Robin asks hoping that Barney didn’t tell Shannon about her being in his apartment earlier this morning.

“She did ask why you were here, I came up with a lie telling her that you were back in town and wanted to talk. She didn’t ask anymore questions regarding you so that was relieving because I wouldn’t know how to explain about you being back in my life again. Especially because she just told me what was going on with her. You being back in my life was not a good thing to bring up so luckily I didn’t have to explain that more to Shannon.” He felt relieved but saddened with what he just learned about Shannon so he is glad that she didn’t ask anymore questions about Robin.

“That is really hard to explain, but thank goodness that she doesn’t know or there will be hell to pay.” Yeah she doesn’t want to face that at all but at some point she might have to.

“Don’t worry about it, I told myself before that Shannon won’t find out about what happened over the weekend. Hopefully she won’t ever find out at all. Right now though she’s going through a lot so we need to be more discreet when around each other when Shannon returns from the retreat. For now though, you can still stay here until your apartment is ready to be moved into and as promised I will help you move in over the weekend. So, Saturday I will be helping you move.” That’s good, Barney helping her move and spending more time together is what she’s wanted since coming back to New York. The fact that he still wants her in his life makes her happy.

“Okay, thank you I do need your help.” She smiles glad that he’s in her life again she was so unhappy being apart from him all these years.

As the silence dawned upon them, they hear through the baby monitor the sound of his daughter calling for him with her loud cry. Barney gets up to tend to his daughter while Robin remains on the couch, thinking about what she just learned. Shannon is going through a really difficult time and she feels bad for her. Yes they don’t know each other but for a brief minute earlier today she came face to face with her. It’s understandable that Barney needs to be there for Shannon in this time of need and she will let him. But, she can’t help but think that she’s going to lose him completely if he remains with Shannon. She knows that Barney does love Shannon, but the thought that he won’t leave her is heavily on her mind now, more so than it was this morning.

Robin, is having a hard time dealing with this fact. Barney might stay with Shannon out of obligation towards her mental health and his daughter. Because Barney wants Shannon in Ellie’s life, he doesn’t want his daughter to grow up without either parent. In the last couple of days she really has thought about being with him. When they slept together last night she couldn’t deny or pretend that what they still have is real and it never went away, but the problem here is Shannon. Robin knows that Barney isn’t going to breakup with Shannon not after what she’s going through right now. And she also knows that he doesn’t want her to be out of his life again. Robin, is once again finds herself in a love triangle only this time she knows that both her and Barney feel the same way.

What is she going to do now that Shannon won’t be going anywhere anytime soon?

“Aw, Robin what’s wrong?”

The next day brings Robin to Lily’s doorstep in tears because she believes she has lost Barney for good even though he told her that he wants to be with her.


	11. The Complicated Situation

“Robin, what happened?” Lily asks after sometime letting Robin cry and sob on her shoulder.

Robin, has gone to her in tears because she feels that Barney is going to stay with Shannon. After the news about her mental health, Barney told her that he is going to be there for her. Robin, knows that she messed up, badly and that led to Barney’s life now, his life with Shannon. And, now she thinks that she will never be with him again despite sleeping in his bed again last night.

The night before!

“So, what are you going to do about this situation?” She asks him before they’re about to go to sleep.

“I don’t know, I just know that I need to be there for her in this time. She’s going through a difficult time, her mental health is important because Ellie needs her around. I just don’t know what to do next. I do want to be with you.” It’s the honest truth. He loves Robin and told her that a few times since they reunited. And he wants to be with her but with Shannon still in his life (she will always be in his life no matter what since she’s Ellie’s mother), he really doesn’t know what to do.

“But, Shannon comes first right now.” She says already knowing that this is what he’s thinking and needing to do.

“Yeah, Shannon comes first. It’s hard for this type of illness to overcome it just in a week. She needs time to heal and get better for Ellie, she needs her mother around and I don’t want her growing up not knowing who her mother is.” Robin understands him saying this because of his own parental issues. His own father was kicked out of his life at a time that he needed him growing up and Jerry wasn’t there. So, Barney wants Ellie to have her mother in her life and that’s his main priority right now.

“Okay, yeah that is the right thing to do. I just, I’m worried that we won’t ever be together again because of this.” She feels like crying but she holds in her emotions right now, she doesn’t want to cry anymore she’s done quite a lot of that in the last few days. But she feels like she will cry that’s how upsetting this situation is and feels like.

“Look, I know this seems like we won’t ever be together again but we’re together now. We know how we feel and that’s never going to change or go away. It hadn’t gone away since the divorce and it won’t go away with this situation now. I will always feel the same way for you, do you feel that way too?” He knows the answer already he just wants her to answer.

“Yes, I do. I have always felt the same way since the divorce. I was miserable and missed you terribly. I never got over the divorce or you. That’s why I told you that I am still in love with you. Nothing with my feelings have changed it only continues to grow more.” It’s the truth, when her loneliness crept in right after the divorce and after finding out that he’s going to be a father. She thought of him, he had made her happy and somehow in someway she destroyed her own happiness. She has to watch the man she always loved raise a child with another woman and that’s the most devastating thing in this situation. She can’t sit and watch the man she loves being a father to a child that isn’t hers, it’s unfair.

When, she was away and not around Barney. She at least felt more relieved of the life he had, because she felt like he wasn’t happy or with anyone. She thought he was still hurting and single. But now that’s not the case, she has seen it first hand now. His relationship with Shannon, even though there have been problems with that relationship she could tell that Barney cares about Shannon and wants her in his life and in their daughter’s life. But, he also wants her in his life. He told her that he couldn’t see his life anymore without her in it, but with this situation with Shannon it’s only going to keep them apart more.

“Hey, you know if I could I would be with you right now and Shannon would be out of my life. But I can’t have that happen, Shannon’s important in my life, yes I’m not deeply in love with her, I hadn’t really loved her in decades. But, the sadness and bitterness of the divorce had made me a little crazy, that led to me running into Shannon that day and if it wasn’t for her friendship, I would be still mourning our relationship but also probably still acting out because of the divorce. I would be sleeping around again and I just couldn’t do that anymore. I truly was done with that lifestyle once we got engaged. Shannon has been the only consistency in my life after you left me that morning after we signed those divorce papers. She was here when you and the others weren’t. I was alone, lonely, unhappy, still devastated over our relationship ending and needed something to heal me from all the brokenness I was feeling. That happened to be Shannon, I am grateful to her because she helped me put my life back together. Shannon and Ellie have been my happiness for these years apart from you. But, that doesn’t change the fact that I love you and never stopped. I just didn’t want to end up alone or god forbid end up a single father from knocking up some unknown woman. That is just a life in hell, losing you almost made me act like I was when I was single before our engagement, I’m grateful towards Shannon because she helped me through all of that and put my life and self back together.” Robin, feels so bad and sorry for how much she had hurt him because of the divorce. While his life was trying to go back to normal, her life however didn’t. She was dragging herself from country to country, city to city, continent to continent for four years. Unhappy, unresolved and still heartbroken over the divorce. Her career began to fail and soon enough she hit rock bottom.

Her, rock bottom was right after finding out that Barney’s going to be a father. That broke her, her whole world just collapsed around her and she became uncaring about anything or anyone.

“I do love you, but Shannon needs to come first right now. She helped me through my own unhappy life now it’s my turn to help her. I know this might be bad timing but I hope that you aren’t going to run off somewhere again. I don’t want to lose you again, it took us reuniting to get over the divorce because I never did get over it I just had to move on for the sake of my own life.” She wants to say okay she will support him in this bad timing, time and she does say that to him but she feels her heart twist in her chest feeling the way she did last year when Lily told her that Barney got some girl pregnant.

“Okay, I will support you. Ellie and Shannon, that’s important to you so it’s an importance to me.” She feels herself tearing up as he pulls her into his arms as they lay next to each other in the very room they once made their room.

She does show him that she’s fine, but she began to secretly and quietly cry as he held her and went to sleep.

End Of Flashback 

“Barney, there’s a lot of things you don’t know.” Robin says after finally getting control over her emotional breakdown.

She pushes herself off of Lily’s comforting embrace and starts pacing the room.

“Like what?” Lily, had hoped to hang out with Robin over the weekend but she didn’t see her after the wedding last week. She wondered where she went and what she and Barney had been talking about that night.

“Barney, told me at Ted and Tracy’s reception something I didn’t see coming.” Robin starts off with the events of that evening telling Lily what she was thinking during the ceremony.

“Then, we began dancing and as we danced I started to think about telling him what I was feeling. I was going to tell him that I still love him, that I regret the divorce and I want to be with him. I asked him to tell me why he kept the fact that he got some woman pregnant and I had to find out from you.” Robin is trying to keep herself from getting too emotional again as she tells Lily the most painful thing she’s ever heard in her life.

“We went outside and he told me what he had been keeping from me for a year. I found out that he had been seeing someone, someone I didn’t even expect. He had been seeing Shannon.”

“Shannon, who?” Lily asks not remembering who Shannon is.

“Remember, Barney had an ex girlfriend who broke up with him for that guy Greg when he was 23?” The year Barney lost his virginity, yeah Lily does remember that. She had received a video from a girl years ago at a party she attended who had something that Barney had sent her after she broke up with him.

“Yes, I had received that tape of Barney crying and singing a song to win Shannon back. Then I showed it to you all and made fun of it.” Lily does remember this, it took a minute to remember who Robin is talking about but she remembers.

“Yes, that’s the Shannon I’m talking about. Well, he told me that after the divorce was final he had been really upset and had gone out and got drunk then hit on some girl he brought back to his apartment. He had a breakdown that night and the girl ran out mad. The next thing he does is destroys his bed, ripping it apart and then does the same thing to his couch. He goes out the following morning and it was then that he ran into Shannon at Starbucks. They had a nice conversation that day and exchanged numbers. She calls him to hang out after that and soon enough they had become friends. But, after a while being friends they became more than friends. They started sleeping together and then started dating...” this is when Robin stops to calm down from going on the rant she just did. She’s still pacing around the living room talking really fast in a loud voice while Lily listened and allowed her to talk.

“It was a year later when Shannon became pregnant.” Lily’s shocked, her mouth flew open in shock by what Robin is telling her.

This is so unbelievable. Lily had no idea what was going on in Barney’s life after the divorce. She had only seen him a few times, she was very busy in the years that Barney was seeing Shannon. So she had no idea what was going on in his life. She only knew about Barney getting someone pregnant but he never told her who the girl was.

“Oh my god, Robin that’s some story. I had no idea that Barney was actually dating Shannon, I thought he knocked up some young girl after hitting on her or something. This is not what I thought happened in his life.” Lily doesn’t quite understand how all of this happened but she sees now why Robin hasn’t been around after the wedding last week.

“So, I was really hurt by what I found out last week and needed sometime to think. However, that same night Barney came looking for me and found me on top of the World Wide News building.” Lily looks at her with this ‘aw’ look feeling maybe this story is taking a turn.

“Aw, that’s sweet he knew where you went to that night. He really does know you better than I thought.” Barney knows her best, it’s why he gets her, it’s why he made her happy and it’s why she hadn’t stopped loving him all these years. She missed him a lot while they were apart but now they’re trying to work it out to be together. There’s just one thing standing in their way of happiness.

“Yes, he does. So when he found me on the roof we started talking, then we fought but then we realized that we regret the divorce and want to be together. But, there’s one thing in the way...” she starts to tear up at this point because this is the more serious part of why she came over here to talk to Lily. She had nobody else to talk to about this and she’s been upset all night.

“Shannon.” Lily says feeling bad for Robin. The divorce was a mistake and now Barney has this whole other life. It’s so sad that this all happened and all because they didn’t know how to compromise and work it out, their problems became over their heads leading them to make that drastic mistake. They got way over their heads and made a horrible mistake and now Robin is paying for it.

“Barney does love Shannon, he had told me so. But now there’s another completely different problem standing in the way. For the last three months Shannon has been going through something, she has Postpartum depression.” Lily’s still in shock by all of this but now she understands why Robin came to her crying.

“Oh, that’s pretty serious.” Lily says knowing that being a mother is hard, Shannon probably felt overwhelmed with being a mother. Although she has a son so that couldn’t be the problem here.

“Yeah, it is serious. So serious that Shannon is getting help right as we speak. She’s currently upstate in a retreat, a meditation retreat.” Well that’s good Lily thought. Getting help now will help Shannon with what she’s going through.

“That’s good, getting the help she needs will help her overcome these issues she has. What kind of issues were the problem for her?” Lily asks after the shock of what she just learned settles down.

“She was worried about having other people hold or take care of Ellie. She was more protective than the normal mother would be. She didn’t like others around Ellie, Barney had made a deal with Shannon to share custody of Ellie. So they have an agreement and arrangement, it’s joint custody where Shannon has her most of the week and Barney only sees Ellie on the weekends. I had heard and noticed that Shannon seemed to be controlling what Barney can and can’t do with his own daughter and I asked him about it. He said that she was like that ever since Ellie was born. She would coddle Ellie, she didn’t want anyone to care for her or be around her not even Barney. Yes, Barney does get her over the weekends but I could tell that he missed her. He confronted her yesterday about it and that’s when Shannon told him what was going on with her.” Wow, that’s some story, Lily really can’t believe what Barney’s life is like.

“I’m glad Shannon’s getting the help she needs. It’s important for her mental health to be there for Ellie.” Ellie’s just a baby but she’s always going to need her mother around, Barney can’t be the only parent when there is another parent around for the child.

“That’s why Barney isn’t going to breakup with her. He wants to support her and help her through this difficult time. But, we had also been talking... all of last weekend we talked.” She stops there and takes a deep breath then sits down on the couch. It’s the first time since coming over here to see Lily that she finally relaxes. She smiles, she is happy to have Barney in her life again but she still feels like Shannon will always be around and in his life.

“We’ve been hanging out. And we bought a new apartment for me to live in since I didn’t have any other place to go. I’m staying at his apartment while my new apartment is renovating and fixed. I’m moving in there this weekend. And, Barney is also co-renter on my lease he payed for half of the down payment and first months rent.” Robin almost looks quite proud of this new information that Lily thinks is a little weird.

“So, let me get this straight. You have been hanging out with your ex husband, staying at his apartment, being around his daughter and he’s co-renter on your lease to your new apartment?” This is astounding, this conversation is so interesting.

“Yep. And, we have been sleeping together.”

“BARNEY CHEATED ON SHANNON?” Lily says shouting shocked by what Robin is telling her, and she sounds so not remorseful about sleeping with a man who’s in a relationship with someone else.

“Lily, calm down. It’s not like I planned this to happen we just... we’ve been talking a lot and the more we talked the more emotions come out. It just happened.” Robin is not regretting sleeping with Barney, and she knows that Barney doesn’t regret it either he told her so. Twice. He told her he loves her and wants to be with her and both don’t regret the weekend they just had.

“I, I am just... you two are the worlds most frustrating people. I can’t believe you don’t care that Barney has a relationship and a child with another woman. What is wrong with you?” Lily is mad, Robin knows that Barney isn’t single why would she sleep with him knowing that she could get hurt.

“I love him, Lily. You don’t understand. It’s complicated but we’re in love. He isn’t in love with Shannon she was a rebound from me. He ran into her after our divorce was final and after we slept together four years ago. Shannon was and is a rebound from being heartbroken because of the divorce.” Robin starts crying again as she says all of this. It’s true, Barney loves her and always did Shannon is a rebound. He was so hurt by the divorce that he reunited with Shannon to keep from having more breakdowns he starts a friendship with her that turned into a relationship. He told her that he has always loved her and thought about her all these years, he even thought of Ellie as their child. He hasn’t loved Shannon in over two decades.

“I, I just don’t know what to say. This is not good, Robin you’re going to wind up on the outside looking in. You’re going to get hurt. With Shannon’s health problems and Ellie he’s going to continue being around her because of Ellie. Shannon’s always going to be in Barney’s life because of Ellie. I get that you love him. But this is all going to come bite you in the ass. He’s going to continue to support and be there for Shannon and Ellie needs her around she’s only a baby. You shouldn’t have started sleeping with him it’s only going to cause more pain, more so for you.” Robin knows that but she can’t help the way she feels. Barney’s the love of her life she hasn’t let him go in four years and has always loved him. The fact that he reunited with Shannon and has a daughter with her doesn’t change the fact that he loves her. He is in love with her and that can’t ever change.

“I can’t help how I feel. He makes me feel things, he makes me happy. I’ve been miserable for these past four years. I thought about him every day since the divorce. When you called me to tell me that he knocked up some girl my whole world turned. I started drinking again after I stopped. I started to sleep around with strange men in many different countries and places. I partied and didn’t care about anything anymore. My world collapsed that day you called me. My job suffered too, I almost got fired.” Lily’s shocked again, this whole conversation has made her show different feelings on what Robin is telling her. Robin’s life suffered because she made a mistake and now that mistake has come back to haunt her.

“You almost got fired?” Lily says with her mouth open.

“Yes, the beginning of this year I had a meltdown when Ellie was born. I went out partying and drinking and then was late to work the next day. My boss was fed up with my actions so he was going to fire me. But I begged him for another chance. He decided to let me have sometime off to think, I went to Vancouver to visit my mom that’s where I’ve been for the last three months. I was there when Tracy called me to tell me about the wedding. I didn’t want to go at first because I didn’t want to face Barney. But my mother told me that I should go to see you guys and to make up with Barney because she knows that I still loved him. At the wedding reception I knew I had to tell him what I was thinking and feeling and then I found out about Shannon and the fact that Ellie is hers and not some random. After we talked we went back to his apartment. It was mostly friendly but nostalgia kicked in and soon I was sleeping next to him in his new bed. He had ruined the one we had bought together before we got married due to feeling emotionally portrayed by me leaving after we slept together when we signed the divorce papers. After, that we realized that we regret the divorce and everything that happened between us. Then we started to sleep together. I don’t regret the last three days and Barney doesn’t either.” It’s true, they’re in love despite his relationship with Shannon and Ellie needing both of them. He still is in love with her and always was.

“I really can’t say that I’m shocked by all of this. But I really am. I know you love each other it’s just more complicated now with Shannon and Ellie, especially now with Shannon’s health issues.” Robin knows that but she’s going to wait. She is going to be in Barney’s life again whether or not people don’t like it she just doesn’t care. She can’t live her life anymore without him in it in some way. If this is what she will get so be it.

“I don’t care. I’m going to be in Barney’s life again, I already am. I’m helping him take care of Ellie. I can’t live my life without him in it.” And that’s when she finally breaks down again weeping about needing to be with Barney.

Lily, understands where Robin is coming from but she still thinks Robin’s going to get hurt. She still lets Robin cry it out.

“Look, I know this is a difficult complicated situation for both of you. But, you can’t keep sleeping together it’s only going to complicate things more especially when Shannon comes back from the retreat. How are you going to pretend that nothing has happened when it did?” Lily says a few minutes after letting Robin cry over this really horrible situation.

“We will work it out. By the time Shannon comes back I will be moved in to my new apartment. I won’t be staying at Barney’s after that. We told each other that we’ll keep our distance but there is nothing else standing in our way of being together. He loves me, yes Shannon’s going to always be in his life but nothing will change the fact that I’m the love of his life and we will be together. Yes, it will take sometime but timing really isn’t a bitch anymore for either of us. He’s still Ellie’s father and he wants me to be in her life. Shannon’s just going to have to deal with that. There are so many problems in Barney’s relationship with Shannon and I’ve seen it. He doesn’t love her but is supporting her because of Ellie.” This is complicated but she and Barney will work it out. They have been through worse in the past despite him being a father and having another woman in his life doesn’t change how he feels about her.

“Well, I honestly don’t like this situation. There’s nothing I can do to talk you out of knowing what you want. But, sweetie please try and not get hurt. This situation is not easy to get over, Postpartum depression is one of the most difficult things to overcome.” Lily isn’t going to tell Robin what to do but she knows that this is going to hurt her and she doesn’t want that to happen.

“I know. Don’t worry about me. I will be okay, I have you guys and I have Barney back in my life again. I’m not going down a path without him in my life. I can’t do it, I was a mess after the divorce was final. He makes me happy and I make him happy.” Robin is being honest here, there is no way she is going to be out of Barney’s life again. Being apart from him only made her feelings more stronger. They’re soulmates, they will always have a connection to each other.

“I’m not going to say anything else. I just hope this doesn’t hurt either of you. Barney’s a father now Ellie comes first for him.” Lily has seen Barney being a father, he’s a wonderful father. Ellie needs him more than Robin does and that’s what Lily has concerns about.

“I love Ellie, we’ve bonded over the weekend. He is a wonderful dad, I’m doing everything I can to help him take care of her while Shannon is away.” Lily can’t believe how much Robin has grown since they met. She went from not liking kids and being uneasy with babies to being supportive in a difficult situation and allowing Barney’s child to be in her life. She’s helping Barney take care of a baby that’s really a big change.

“I guess you both really have changed. You know I’m rooting for you two I just want you both to be happy.” Lily’s not going to say anything else about this situation she’s going to be as supportive as she can be. She can tell that Robin isn’t going to run or be out of Barney’s life again. She’s going to stay and fight for her man, she can’t blame her for wanting to fight for Barney.

“Thank you.” Robin smiles and hugs Lily happy that Lily’s being understanding. Yes she knows that Lily has her concerns but she isn’t concerned. She’s happy, she hasn’t been happy in years she’s not going to back down from being with Barney and she knows that he isn’t either.


	12. The Memories We Share, Are Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little note for this chapter: it has some cursing it also starts the beginning of the end for this story. There will be about five or six more chapters and then it will end. I hope those who are reading this like the story.

The day of Robin’s move, two hours before they have to leave to go get her things to be brought to her new apartment. She and Barney are in his apartment talking about the move. When Barney asks her where she had put all of her things from their joint storage unit. 

“So, where did you end up putting all of your things when you moved out?” Barney asks this because 1: he didn’t know if she rented a separate storage from the one they had made as their storage after they got married. And, 2: he hadn’t been to the storage facility for years. The last time he was there it was a few months before they had decided to split up. They end up filing for divorce five months later, she had taken off some place at the time until he sent her the divorce papers. She didn’t sign them when they came to her because she didn’t want to believe that they were over, that she had lost him. She kept those divorce papers and when she returned to New York a month after they split, she does sign them at that point. That night they slept together for the last time at that point, then she leaves the next morning causing him to be more hurt by her choosing her job and career over him and their marriage. And, she goes off to other assignments unhappy, unresolved and even more miserable than the months leading up to that day in that hotel room in Argentina.

The days, weeks, months and years after their last time together left both of them with tons of regrets and Robin in mourning over their failed marriage and relationship. Every time they break up she has always found herself curled up in a ball, bawling her eyes out over Barney and their recent breakup. In, 09 in the aftermath of their breakup she sometimes couldn’t even get out of bed because the pain of the breakup caused her body to ache, she was numb, unfeeling anything. Of course, their friends didn’t know this fact about what had happened after they broke up the first time and nobody found out this fact either, not even Barney. She was in agony, she never felt that type of pain in her life over a breakup. And, then the aftermath of the divorce caused even more emotional damage. She used her job to distract herself from a breakdown. But, she does have many breakdowns over the years since they split, and then when she found out about Ellie. The fact that Barney was going to be a father left her in shambles. Her life became uncontrollable and unpredictable. She just didn’t care anymore by that point. She chose her career over her marriage and the guilt had been eating at her for years, her breakdown after finding out he was going to be a father killed her.

The, storage unit they made as a joint unit had become something neither could actually let go of. Barney never closed that account to the unit and Robin didn’t take her name off of the paper work. So the unit is still there with many of their things inside it. Barney doesn’t put anything in there. But, Robin had put a lot of her own things in it, which included her old bed, her sofa, chairs and many other things from the apartment she had before they got engaged. Robin, had taken all of her belongings to that storage after she moved out, in which Barney wasn’t home at the time she moved out and that’s another story. 

“No, I put all of my things in that unit after I moved out.” The sadness that she sees on his face when she mentions that time when she moved out. It’s painful to see that look, because she has the same look on her own face.

Barney had come home later that night to find her things gone. There was no sign that Robin ever lived there. He had one of many breakdowns that day and it’s still something that makes his heart ache now. The thought of that day comes flashing back to his eyes and memory.

Flashback 

The day Robin moved out was already a stressful and miserable day for Barney. He had started a new job just a month after he and Robin split up. The former investigator who had helped him bring down Greg and his former company had asked him if he would like to join his team. He would ultimately be a private investigator, finding new cases and helping the team find the evidence that helps the cases. Detective, John Silva had given him an opportunity that he had been thinking about for the last two months. But, then things between him and Robin were not good, so he kindly turned it down in order to try to save his failing marriage. The reason he went with her on that last assignment in Argentina was because he wanted to find a way for him and Robin to find sometime together so they can resolve the issues that they were having.

Barney had been out of work for the last six months by this point, he desperately wanted to save the relationship. Then that day which was a month ago today, came and everything he was trying to save came crashing down. His life began to break into little pieces and he was lost. He not only ends up losing his wife, the love of his life. He had also lost his job, the job he had had for over the last decade. So, of course when he returns home from that nightmare trip to Argentina. He had lost it, he completely lost it when he stepped inside his apartment, realizing that he had just left Robin still working in that god forsaken country. The darkness and emptiness of his apartment that is still their apartment feels even more empty and dark as he walks in. The presence of his wife is still everywhere in this place. He takes his keys and throws it far across the room in a rage, then breaks down all the feelings and emotions he had been feeling but holding onto since that last conversation in that damn hotel room.

So, it takes weeks for him to find some relief from the pain he was feeling. He starts drinking, much more heavily than normal, he goes out at night trying to see if he could still pick up women. He succeeds on some of these nights, but then he realizes that he’s still married. He and Robin are only separated, he starts to regret asking for that separation. She wanted out, but he didn’t so in order to try saving their marriage he decides that they need some space so they split up with him going back home and her staying to finish up that assignment. Robin, had decided to take another assignment after Argentina to Mexico and then she finally made it back to the states. She returns to try to work out their problems but the compromising she and Barney tried to make didn’t work for them. Barney did file for divorce two days after this, Robin goes off to another assignment leaving him to deal with the paperwork for the divorce. He sends her the divorce papers but she doesn’t sign them until that day... the last day they saw each other. Both of them start to regret the divorce and Robin tries to find something to distract her from her ongoing thoughts of Barney and their failed marriage because she broke down and slept with him one last time.

“Fuck, you Robin. Seriously, fuck you.” He says after flinging his keys across the room.

It’s so god damn quiet in this apartment he just came back from being out at the bar. Not Maclaren’s, another bar a few blocks away from his apartment building. To come home, half drunk but still remembering that he was married and he failed in his marriage... no scratch that, she failed. Robin screwed up and now they’re divorced. He has a breakdown, one of many this evening after he sees that Robin had officially moved out.

Everything she owned was gone, he went throughout the apartment searching to see if there’s anything she left behind. But nothing, the only thing she left behind was her mugs. The only god damn thing, that enraged him more. He doesn’t do anything to her mugs but he did destroy his entire apartment looking to see if she left something else behind. Over a year later, Barney goes out again on the anniversary of the divorce, he gets super wasted and brings home that chick he tried to sleep with but has a complete breakdown over Robin and his marriage. The next morning he goes out and runs into Shannon...

End Of Flashback 

“You just left...” he says remembering the pain he was in when he came home to find her things gone. He had sat down overcome with the emotions he was feeling at the time, on his couch. Suddenly the tears start to fall and he’s shaking from those heartbreaking times after they split up and then divorced.

“Aw, Barney. I’m sorry, you had come home to see that my things were gone. I thought at first that you were there, at home and I still had the key to the apartment, which I never returned or got rid of. I had kept it on my chain with my ring for a year after we split. Anyway, I am truly with all of my heart, am sorry for the way I handled the split between us. I just couldn’t or didn’t know how to deal with it. I was heartbroken too, that’s why I had kept taking assignments. I had to have time away from you, because if I saw you I would have caved.” Her arm is around his back trying to comfort him, talking about this is still hard but she has to tell him what she was feeling all these years. He looks at her, his face full of tears and a little snot. She takes a tissue from the coffee table and hands it to him to dry his face.

“I would have told you that I was regretting the divorce, I was not dealing with the divorce as well as you might think at that time. I was miserable, sad, depressed, lonely, alone. I missed you so, so much. I cried my eyes out for months after it. Years. More like years. I tried to push through it and find ways to distract my mind from always thinking about you all the time. So, that day I came back here I thought you would be here so maybe I could talk to you. But, you weren’t so I just decided to pack my things and ordered a moving van to take it to our storage. I’m shocked that you didn’t know that my things are still in that storage.” Barney is trying to calm his emotions down, after she said that she was not dealing with their divorce well, it hits him that after all this time they could have talked and made up, they could be together instead she chickened out again and left without a word from her for three freaking years.

“I, I just couldn’t bring myself to go there. That is memories from our relationship and if I did go there I would have had a breakdown and probably set your things on fire.” She knows that that is a joke because he says it in a joking tone. But she knows he’s still serious, he just couldn’t go to a place that reminds him of her. She gets that, she was like that for four years. Everything reminded her of him, losing each other cost them their livelihood. And, for her him. She has lost him to another woman, just like she had always feared in the past.

First, it was Nora, then Quinn, and now Shannon and it was all her fault.

“So, the day I moved out I brought all my things to the storage. It’s still there, if you didn’t touch it then it’s still all there.” She says after they both started crying over their failed relationship. Not only did the relationship fail, every chance they had to try to save it or repair the relationship failed too.

“Okay, then we’re going to have to go to the storage and get your things. Are you sure you want to keep everything you own?” He remembers the things she had put in there, it’s been years since they been there, but he remembers what’s in there. There are some of his things from when he was single, some of her things (not some, most of what she owned) is there, and things that have a connection to their relationship. Everything that has been in there all these years is still there.

“Not everything, I don’t want that old bed anymore, it’s kind of broken and not usable anymore.” The bed she’s talking about is the one she had when she was single, she had kept it because it did have memories from their relationship so she couldn’t part with it. But, now she doesn’t want it, it’s only collecting dust. She wants to get rid of it and buy a new bed.

“Okay, let’s go to the storage before we get a van so we can see what you want to keep for your new apartment and what you don’t want to keep or put into your new apartment.” This was very emotional for them, so it took a few minutes for them to get control of their emotions but he wants to help her with her move, he promised her he would and is keeping that promise.

They, go to the storage place an hour later, both of them still have their own keys to the unit and have their names on the lease for it as well, neither wanted to part with it so neither payed out the lease, Barney just kept paying for it every month.

As, they enter the unit the memories of their relationship and marriage flash before their eyes, causing both of them to reflect and take in all of the memories that meant so much to them, that neither wanted to close out the lease. It hits them how much this storage means to them, both of them start to tear up while just looking at the stuff that surrounds them.

He notices that she’s crying a little more than he is, he pulls her into him with his arm around her back, whispering to her “I know. I know, it’s all so emotional. Babe, we can get through this.” She nods her head through her tears and turns to him.

“I know we can.” He pulls her into his arms this time and holds her for quite a while as they stand in the middle of all of their things. The memories hitting them like a ton of bricks.

Neither, realized before coming here how difficult and emotional going through all this stuff would be for them. It takes two hours to actually go through everything, not just her things but their things. The things from their relationship...

“This, was from that first Valentine’s Day we had together.” She shows him two items, a stuffed bear and a heart pillow that he bought her for their first Valentine’s Day as husband and wife. This was also their second Valentine’s Day ever as a couple because they missed out on two other Valentine’s days, one before they got together and one after they got together.

“I remember. That was a happy and good Valentine’s Day, the first we had together as a married couple. You had bought me a watch, a card and red roses. And I bought you, this bear, the pillow with our names on it and that other Canada mug. Along with flowers, a card and caramel chocolates.” He remembers both of the Valentine’s Day’s he had with her. The good ones, those first two years of their marriage, because after that things started to falter in their relationship, that was the beginning of the end for them.

“We should have had many, many more Valentine’s Day’s together. I really messed up.” She had stopped crying a while ago to get through these things. But once the Valentine’s memories came around, she starts bawling again. This time she’s shaking and says “I’m sorry” about ten times as he holds her while they’re sitting on the floor of the storage.

“Hey, I know this is hard to get through but we need to get your things transferred to your new home.” Barney says 15 minutes later. They are surrounded by so many memories and it becomes too much for her to finish what they came here to finish.

“Okay.” She says through sobs trying to brush the flowing tears from her eyes and face.

They, get up from the floor with him helping her up. They begin to go through the things she wants to take to her new apartment and they leave what she doesn’t want to bring and what was either his things or something from their relationship. Those things stay here in the storage. They are not getting rid of this storage, they are keeping it under their names.

A half hour later, Barney and Robin get a van from the storage place and get help from some of the workers from the facility to help load the van. Barney drives it because Robin is still shaken from going through those things for the last two and a half hours. She couldn’t bring herself to take the wheel while still being a wreck. Barney, drives the van to Robin’s new apartment where their friends are surprisingly waiting outside the building for them. Barney had texted Lily that they are going to be a little late, Lily had wanted to help Robin get moved into her new apartment so she got Marshall and Ted to help with the move. Tracy is also there with them, so she’s helping out as well.

“Guys, you didn’t have to come. Barney’s more than enough to help me move.” Robin says not realizing that Lily has told the guys and Tracy that she had bought a new apartment. Barney knew about Lily’s plan to help them with the move and Lily told Barney to keep it a secret from Robin so obvious he kept that secret since Robin is shocked to see her friends waiting for her.

“I know, we know but we all wanted to help you move. This is a big deal, sweetie you have a new home in New York again. That’s something you should celebrate with your friends.” Lily says hugging Robin, and once again Robin tears up as her friends all gather around her to hug her too.

A few minutes later, Barney, Robin and the gang help Robin move her things from the moving van into her new apartment.

“Wow, Robin this place is huge. Much too big for only one person.” Marshall says, shocked to see how big this apartment is.

“I know, but it’s not a problem for me. I wanted a big apartment, like the one I had near Central Park before Barney and I got engaged.” She’s trying to explain why she bought this apartment, but the look on Lily’s face is not what she wants to see right now. She knows that Lily knows exactly why she bought this place and had Barney co-sign the lease and pay half the deposit and rent for the first month.

Robin, looks away from Lily’s gaze and turns to Barney.

“That goes in the bedroom.” She says about the throw rug he’s holding.

With, everyone doing something. Lily finds the time between unpacking and talking to the gang to pull Robin aside to have a little chat with her.

“Robin, what are you doing?” Lily says mad about the reason why Robin bought this apartment. Not only is it too big for just one person, it’s also two blocks away from Barney’s apartment. Lily already knew that Robin had Barney sign the lease and pay for half of this apartment. She knows now that Robin isn’t moving in here because she needs a new place. She bought this apartment because she wants to be close to Barney.

“W-what do you mean?” Robin says pretending to not know what Lily is talking about.

“You, bought this apartment because you want to be close to Barney, in anyway you can. Since he’s with Shannon, you can’t keep staying with him. So, you find a place close to where Barney lives.” Robin doesn’t look Lily in the eye when she tells her what she already knew and why she bought this apartment. Robin looks over and sees Barney laughing with Marshall, then turns to Lily.

“I just came from our storage unit, Lily where we had been for two and a half hours looking through my and Barney’s stuff. We both took that long to come here because we were emotional. So much so that we couldn’t get through taking the things that I wanted to bring here. I didn’t buy this apartment to be close to Barney. I bought it because I want to be in Barney’s life. And Ellie’s... they’re both important to me. No matter what you might think we will be together again. He loves me and I love him. Shannon, might be going through a hard time right now. But, Barney and I both had been through hard times. More so than Shannon could even dream of. We had been through so much in the last four years. And I be dammed to be apart from him.” Lily’s not too happy with Robin right now. But she gets why Robin is doing this, the emotion she sees in Robin’s teary eyes is more than she needs to need or respond to. She’s going to let this go for now, but she’s still worried that Robin is going to get hurt.

As, the day goes on Barney receives a phone call from Shannon. He goes into Robin’s bathroom in her bedroom, to take the call so that Shannon doesn’t know that he’s around his friends and Robin.

“Shannon, what’s going on?”


	13. We Are Going To Be Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter has two flashbacks one from earlier this day and one with Shannon. I said that this story will contain flashbacks to how, when and why Barney and Shannon’s relationship happened, and there will be more flashbacks as the story winds down.
> 
> With, Shannon returning from her retreat Barney makes a decision that changes what he wants. 
> 
> There will be a few more chapters, but I think this story can go to 20 chapters. I have the rest of the story already in my head planned, so the rest of the story is easy to write. I hope you all enjoy this, I would love some feedback, comments will be nice I would love to know what you all think about this story.

“Hi, Barney. My retreat is done, I’m on my way back to the city. I will be picking Ellie up in the morning.” Shannon says, she feels really good about the retreat she was just at for the last five days. She feels refreshed and rejuvenated, ready to be the mother that her daughter needs. And she’s ready to move forward in her relationship with Barney. When she was at the retreat, she had a lot of time to think and figure things out.

She had been stalling on moving forward in her relationship with Barney because she wasn’t in her right mind to deal with her relationship and be mother at the same time. So she kept putting moving forward with Barney on hold. She kept pushing him away for the last two months. Every time he asked her to move in with him, she always said no or that she would think about it, but her answer turned out to be no again. And, she is reconsidering the custody agreement with Barney. She wants to talk to him about all of this when she returns to the city.

“Oh, okay.” He says, she sounds good. Like she feels better with her life. She sounds cheerful and happy which is good, now she can truly be a mom to Ellie the mom she needs.

“So, I also want to talk to you. It’s important, if you can make sometime when I come to get Ellie. We do need to talk.” She hopes that he can find a way to forgive her for using Ellie as a tool in their relationship. She regrets asking him for that custody agreement and wants to start over. She just wants to be parents along side Barney because Ellie does need him in her life, the little girl loves her father.

“Yes, of course. We do need to talk.” He agrees to have a conversation with Shannon because it’s time that she knows what’s going on in his life.

Barney, despite what Shannon is going through. Wants to be with Robin, he told her that when they were at the storage earlier. Yes, Barney does love Shannon but it’s not the type of love he feels for Robin. Robin is The One, she is the one he wants to be with and loves...

Flashback 

Two hours ago!

“What if I tell Shannon about us? No more lies, I will tell her that I’m in love with you and want to be with you. When she comes back to pick up Ellie, I will tell her everything that has happened since you came home.” He tells her, they are done with separating her things and was about to leave the storage unit. He had stopped and looked at her, after all the emotion and the memories of their life together had ceased Barney looked at her and knew right then that he needs to be with her. He needs to be honest with Shannon and tell her everything that has happened with Robin for the last week.

“You really want us to be together?” She’s not sure if this is the right time for them to be together. Shannon is still a huge question mark in their relationship.

“Yes. Look, after everything that we have been through in the past four years, and looking at this... our stuff. I realized that I can’t continue being without you. Yes, there is Shannon and she is a part of my life. But, you’re the love of my life, I can’t waste anymore time being apart from you. I have done some soul searching myself in the last week. And I realized that you are the one I want to be with. So, when Shannon comes back tomorrow, I’m going to sit down and talk to her about everything... I can no longer lie and pretend that you’re not more bigger in my life, you are the most important person in my life, along with Ellie you both are my lifelines. I love you, and I want to be with you.” He had thought about this all week, since last Saturday really. Robin being back in his life is what he has wanted for the past three years. He had thought about her every minute of every day, especially after Ellie was born. Spending his time with Robin, and seeing her with Ellie being so great with her. It made him think more about what he wants. This is what he wants...

“You really think that Shannon’s going to be alright with this? After what she just went through.” Robin is overjoyed that he wants to be with her. But she’s still concerned about Shannon, how will she take this news? That Barney had been hanging out with her for the last week ever since she came home for the wedding, in which she attended. How was Barney going to explain the last week with her, hanging out, talking, buying her new apartment, oh and sleeping with her while he’s dating Shannon and away at the retreat to find some peace to be a mother for their daughter.

“I don’t care what she thinks. I understand what she was going through and I am supporting her. But, can’t sit quiet and pretend that nothing has happened this past week. Not after the last few days spending my time with you. I’m serious, I want to be with you.” Robin still has her concerns about this. But she is so happy that he had a change of mind.

“Okay, I do want to be with you. I just hope that Shannon isn’t that deeply in love with you...” who wouldn’t be deeply in love with Barney Stinson? Obviously Shannon had been all those years since she kept that tape from years ago and had been thinking about Barney all those years after they last saw each other. And, after all these years, she herself couldn’t get over Barney either, so she gets it. Barney Stinson is hard to forget.

He kisses her for a couple of minutes still standing inside their storage, surrounded by all of their things. On the one hand, Barney is extremely happy and thought about this long and good all week, he is not going to spend one more day without being with Robin. And on the other hand, Shannon will come back to get Ellie and he will tell her what has really been going on between him and Robin. Shannon might like it or not like it. But he doesn’t care. He’s in love with Robin and she’s going to be in his life no matter if Shannon likes it or not. Barney knows that Shannon does love him but he doesn’t love her, not in a way someone should love someone.

End Of Flashback 

Barney, hangs up from the call with Shannon and just sits on the toilet seat. He hangs his head and brushes his hand over his face and up through his hair. He is so nervous about this face to face conversation with Shannon. This was going to make it or break it. Shannon will either be okay with him being with Robin, or she won’t... he just hopes that this news won’t make Shannon do anything rash. All he knows is that this is his final decision.

Robin, is the one he wants to be with and he is not going to turn on his word to her. He promised her that he will breakup with Shannon to officially be with her, he is not going to change his mind again. Robin is more important to him than Shannon and hopefully she will understand that.

“Barney, is everything okay?” Robin says through the door.

Barney sighs and stands up, he tries to relax and settle his worried face so he could look Robin in the eye and not give away how nervous he is about this conversation with Shannon tomorrow.

“Yeah,” he says opening the door. “Everything’s fine.” He smiles trying to make it a real true smile and not a nervous smile.

“What did Shannon say?” She asks wondering what Shannon was talking to him about.

Robin, had been in the living room prior to going to check on Barney and what the call was about. She had gotten worried with how long he’s been in the bathroom. He’s been in there for almost 20 minutes now.

“She’s coming back tomorrow morning to pick up Ellie.” Barney is so worried about Shannon’s reaction. Shannon knows how he feels about Robin, he just hopes she doesn’t overreact to this news or does something drastic. He just wants to be with Robin that’s all he’s ever wanted for the last three years since his relationship with Shannon started.

“Oh, okay. Did you tell her about what you told me before?” Robin wants to know if Barney told Shannon about their relationship and his decision.

“No, but she wants to talk so when she comes to pick up Ellie tomorrow we will talk. She sounded upbeat and happy. I just don’t know how she will take this news after what she was going through. I know she loves me, she was the one who wanted us to be more than just friends. She was the one who asked me out on a date before she got pregnant. I wasn’t so sure about getting into a relationship with her because I was still hung up on you. But, she helped me through those years I was unhappy and sad over our divorce. Feelings did come back for me, but she’s always been a distraction from thinking about you all the time. I talked about you a lot for the first year before we started hooking up.” It’s true, Barney kept talking about Robin and how hurt and heartbroken he was when Robin left him that morning after they slept together.

“I now see why she was jealous of our relationship. You kept talking to her like I was still in your life in someway. That could have affected her feelings about me and our relationship. But, hopefully she will take it well. I can’t be without you any longer.” He smiles glad that at least he has his partner back, he really did miss her. Shannon has gotten really frustrated with him with the amount of talk he did about her. So the day she told him about why she kept that tape he sent her. Shannon had gotten really mad with him and suddenly they were kissing.

Flashback 

“Shut up, just shut up. All I have heard is Robin this, and Robin that. I am sick of hearing you going on and on about a woman who walked out on you. She broke your heart, if I may say. Robin Scherbatsky is a heartbreaking bitch. And kind of slutty.” Shannon says, she is pissed with him and his talk about his ex, who had left him. All he does since reuniting last year has been talking about his ex wife like she’s still in his life.

“Don’t call her that. She is a strong independent woman, she deserves her success. All I was saying is that if Robin was still around I would get to make up for the way things ended with us. I didn’t think you would get that mad about me talking about my ex wife.” Barney was mad that Shannon went off on him and Robin like she just did. He is shocked and mad about her reaction to Robin who she doesn’t even know.

“All you’ve been talking about for the past ten months has been Robin. I get that you loved her, but she left you. She broke your heart, how can you still be talking about a woman who doesn’t want anything to do with you?” Shannon’s jealousy is showing, she isn’t just mad she is jealous of what Barney has with Robin. That he didn’t have with her. All these years of thinking that maybe if she saw him again they’d get a second chance to be together. If she just got another chance to apologize and make up for the way she ended their relationship. She would get to tell him that she regretted it, that she has been thinking about him all these years and knows that her biggest regret is cheating on Barney and breaking up with him the way she did.

“I-I just... no, you’re right. She left me and chose her career over me. I’m sorry I got mad, I just don’t like other people talking badly about Robin.” He does feel bad about yelling at her.

“I get that. But, Robin isn’t here anymore. I am. And I regret the way I had broken up with you. I have been thinking about telling you that I’m in love with you.” With all the anger they just had, the moment she tells him that she loves him gives him pause. She is right, Robin is not here anymore. He is with Shannon, whom he did love once and maybe could love again. 

“You’re in love with me?” He says shocked by this revaluation. She really loves him he had no idea she felt that way, they had only been friends for this half a year.

“Yes, I’m in love with you.” The next thing he does is kisses her. For the first time in about two years, Barney feels relieved that someone loves him again. Even if it is Shannon, he realized that he has been feeling that way too he just didn’t want to pursue another relationship especially because he still loves the woman he just fought about with Shannon just now.

End Of Flashback 

So, that’s how his relationship with Shannon changed. But, Robin is the one, his true love and he wants to be with her. He does love Shannon but he isn’t _in_ love with her. He’s in love with Robin and always was.

The night that Barney starts sleeping with Shannon, it did make him forget and try to move on. That wasn’t the only time they slept together, they began dating after five months of just sleeping together. Then suddenly she became pregnant and things started to change again in their relationship. They were really close, spending a lot of time together preparing to be parents. But, once Shannon gave birth to Ellie things changed with her.

Barney and Robin both hope that Shannon takes this news in a good and mature way. They don’t want to make a fool out of her or make her mad about them finding their way back to each other. All they want is for Shannon to understand what has been going on between them in the last week. And hopefully they can all move on.


	14. The Conversation Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barney and Shannon have the very important conversation. Part 1!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is part 1 of a 2 part chapter so this chapter leads into what comes next for BR. There will be some twists to this story until it ends so I want to tell ya’ll readers that this story isn’t over yet but it will be soon. These ARE the last few chapters of this story so enjoy the ride, things will happen but don’t worry there will be a happy ending as I promised.

He’s nervous, really nervous probably the most nervous he’s ever been in his life. He is about to have the most real and difficult conversation with the woman who does means a lot to him, she helped him get back on his feet for the last three years so he’s grateful to her for that, he doesn’t want to hurt Shannon but he is done being without the woman he loves and has loved for years. This is going to be hard but he hopes that Shannon can understand why they can’t be together romantically. They can be parents to their daughter but he’s in love with someone else and can’t lie to either one of these women. He needs to keep his promise to Robin that he will breakup with Shannon so they can be together. And he needs Shannon to understand that she is important to him, she’s always going to be in his life. But, Robin is the one he wants to be with. He hopes that Shannon takes this well because he does want to have her in his life and in Ellie’s life. Their daughter needs her and them to have a respectable and healthy relationship to be good parental role models to their daughter.

While, Barney is nervously waiting for Shannon to come pick Ellie up. Robin is at her apartment, also nervous about how this conversation with Shannon will go. Robin, wants to give Barney time and space to talk to Shannon she needs to let Barney deal with this breakup on his own. But, she is so worried that this won’t go as well as she wants it to. Robin just hopes that Barney will soon officially be with her again. Until that time comes, Robin sits on her couch flipping through channels on the tv. She had bought a big screen tv like the one Barney has in both the living room and his bedroom, in which he never got rid of after she moved in, and she didn’t want him to get rid of it either so she never asked him to get rid of the tv in the bedroom. This is her first day in her new apartment, she’s really happy to finally have a place to go again in the city.

Shannon’s supposed to be here in a half hour. It’s 8:30 she texted him an hour ago to tell him the time she’ll be there. Ellie is still asleep, it was a late night last night, Ellie was crying a lot, he couldn’t get her to quiet down to get her ready to go to sleep. So he had to stay up until 1am which is when he finally did get her to settle and go to sleep. So, it’s good that Ellie is asleep because he and Shannon need to talk without any interruptions. This is very important and he needs enough time to talk to explain to Shannon what has been going on in the last week.

This is so nerve wracking. He hopes that his nerves don’t show while talking to Shannon who just texted him that she’s here and is coming upstairs. This moment is the most important moment of his life in the last four years, he went from divorcing the love of his life to reuniting with Shannon to reuniting with Robin and then deciding to be with her. He is going to be with her, he just has to get through this meeting now without being too nervous about what Shannon’s reaction will be. He wishes that Robin was here with him to calm his nerves, if she was here he would easily tell Shannon without being so nervous and worried about how this conversation will go. Robin’s presence would easily be calming in this moment. But, Robin wanted to give him this moment with Shannon alone, so they can talk without her coming between them, which she didn’t want to do. But she can’t help how she feels, she’s still going to let Barney deal with this conversation on his own, she knows this is hard for him to do because there are feelings involved and a young child. She knows that Barney loves Shannon and that she is important to him. But she also knows that he loves her and that is more important here: their happiness...

“Hi.” Barney says after opening the door.

“Hey.” Shannon says back with a smile happy to feel refreshed and back to herself again after that long week away.

Barney moves aside to allow her to come inside his apartment and after she does he closes it behind her, turning around smiling a little but trying to keep his nerves as calm as he can.

“So, where’s Ellie?” Shannon asks wanting to have sometime alone with Barney before taking her daughter back downtown to her apartment.

“In her room, sleeping. We had a late night last night, couldn’t get her to stop crying for a while. She didn’t go to sleep until after 1 am.” Barney says explaining where their daughter is.

“Okay, good. Can we talk? There’s a lot I need to say to you.” This is it, this is the right time to get everything they need to say off their minds. Barney is allowing her to say what she needs to first because that’s the least he can do with what he’s about to tell her.

“Yes, lets sit.” They go over to his couch and sit apart to keep some distance between them. Then Shannon begins to talk about what she has been thinking about in the last week.

“While, I was upstate I had done a lot of reflecting. I had a lot of time to think about what has been going on in the last three months since Ellie was born and I want to first say... I am so sorry for the way I was acting with you being a parent to Ellie. I wasn’t in my right mind to see how much my keeping you away from her and only allowing you to see her on weekends had hurt you. I was scared of other people caring for Ellie including you, her own father. I thought about how much my actions with our custody arrangement had upset you. I’m sorry I wasn’t trusting of you, with Ellie. I know you have been a wonderful father, even before Ellie was born you were great with me after the shock that I was pregnant went away. I want to stop the custody agreement and just be a parent along side you, because that’s what Ellie needs.” Wow, Shannon’s really going to stop sharing custody? Barney is shocked he didn’t think she would ever change her mind on that arrangement.

“Really? You don’t want this custody agreement anymore?” He needs to be sure that she’s being truthful about this because he doesn’t want her to turn around again and change her mind regarding him caring for their daughter. He really does want more time with Ellie without the agreement they have though.

“Yeah, I had a lot of time to think about this and I realized that I wasn’t fair to you. You really are a wonderful father, Ellie loves you so I want to not have a custody arrangement with us for our daughter. I want her to always have you in her life. With Max, I was alone, a single parent without any male role model my relationships never lasted long enough for Max to get to know them. But, you have been a great role model for Max, he really likes you. And, Ellie adores you. She is always happy whenever she’s dropped off here at this apartment because she knows that she’s with her father. You are a great role model for both of those kids and I want you to be in their lives.” He is shocked but really happy about this change of mind. This is everything he’s wanted since Ellie was born, to be a parent along with Shannon because that’s the only thing that was making him happy at the time. But, now Robin is back in his life and he remembers what real happiness felt like. He still wants to be with Robin but this change of mind with the custody arrangement is the best news he’s had in a long time.

“Thank, you Shannon. You don’t know what this means to me.” This is everything but there’s more to that everything that he wants... Robin!

FLASHBACK 

“What’s the matter?” Barney says after coming over to Shannon’s apartment after she texted him that there’s something important she needs to tell him.

“Um, why don’t you come in.” She moves aside and he enters her apartment. She looks somber, really serious which is what he noticed right away after she opened the door.

“I, have some news.” Shannon starts, this is hard for her to say but she’s going to. This relationship has been great up until now. She’s been really happy, being with Barney is completely different from when they were together two decades ago. They have both grown up and matured after their breakup. This relationship has made her happy. This news that she’s about to tell him is going to change their relationship again, this time forever.

Their relationship has evolved into something that she thinks can go the distance this time. She thinks that with all that time apart, that this time they’re ready to be together. When they dated when they were young, they were both immature especially her and she took him for granted. She broke his heart so badly that he became broken himself and didn’t get into another serious relationship for years after that breakup. But, now Shannon thinks that this news is some kind of sign. Maybe they just needed time... to grow up to be ready for each other. This time they’re going to get it right and she’s not going to lose him again, at least that’s what she hopes.

“What? Shannon why do you look so serious? What’s going on?” He asks concerned with the way she’s talking and looking at him. He’s scared that she might just end their relationship. He can’t go through another heartbreak, he’s just now trying to get over losing the love of his life. He can’t go through another breakup and be alone again.

“I’m, I had gone to the doctor today. I haven’t been feeling well in the last few days. So I went to see my doctor earlier today and found out that...” she pauses and looks down then back up at him. “I’m pregnant.” Barney’s face went from a serious concerned look to completely shell shocked as he looks/stares at her with wide eyes and mouth.

“Say something, Barney.” It’s been several minutes just standing there with his mouth open and eyes looking like a dear caught in the headlights of a car. He’s clearly in shock, she was too when she first found out but now she’s quite happy that she’s pregnant.

They have been getting more closer lately, their relationship went from being friends to dating in just two years. They only just started dating recently but they’re still having a lot of sex, as unexpected as this is. They really haven’t been careful, and aren’t always careful either this was bound to happen at some point.

“I, yeah. I...” and that was it. That’s all he says, then he walks towards her and past her out the door still in the greatest shock of his life.

It takes days for Barney to come to terms with this news. That Shannon’s pregnant and he’s going to be a father. He surprises Shannon with an apology dinner at his apartment that following Friday, from there on Barney spent every minute he had with Shannon preparing to be a father. He finally does tell the gang, after a month of keeping the fact that he’s going to be a father a secret from his friends. And, months after (three months) finding out that Shannon’s pregnant, he tells his family. He first told his mother and then his father’s side of his family. 

Nobody finds out that he’s been dating Shannon and nobody finds out that she’s pregnant and he’s going to be a father until these times. He couldn’t tell anyone because he didn’t want it to get out to Robin that he’s going to be a father, but of course right after he tells the gang that he’s going to be a father, Lily calls up Robin and tells her and never told him that she told Robin his very personal news. Life changing news.

END OF FLASHBACK 

When, Barney found out that he is going to to be a dad he freaked out but quickly had a change of heart and decided to apologize for his none response to Shannon telling him this fact. But now, after the last three months she had a change of heart herself, this makes him really ecstatic.

“So, that’s not all I wanted to say to you. I also have been thinking about our relationship. I want to start over. I have been very distant with our relationship for the last couple of months because I was trying to deal with being a mother and I couldn’t deal with anything else including our relationship which means a lot to me. You have been making me happy in the last few years. So, I want us to have a restart to our post-baby relationship. So, what do you say you want to start over? I would like to discuss moving in here with you, I was putting it off because I was dealing with my illness but I really want to be with you and be a parent with you.” Okay, now this just became more difficult for him. She wants to make a fresh start to their relationship and talk about moving in together like they discussed two months ago. This is so much more complicated now... with Robin back.

What is he going to do? He doesn’t know what to do because he doesn’t breakup with Shannon at this moment like he promised Robin he was going to do. He instead said he has to think about this first before giving her a concrete answer, meaning he has to talk to Robin.

Knock knock

“Barney? Did you tell Shannon about what has been going on between us?” Robin says after opening her door to a sad looking Barney. He looks miserable, not something she expected after breaking up with Shannon.

“Robin...” is all he says before pulling her into him hugging her tightly as he cries. This makes her think that something worse than Shannon’s health had made him breakdown like this.

Robin, is about to find out just what happened earlier when he talked to Shannon. This sucks, telling her that he didn’t break his relationship up with Shannon because she was so happy when he told her that he has to think about this. He doesn’t want to keep something this important from Robin, he needs to talk to her first even though he already said that he is going to be with her.


	15. The Conversation (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barney tells Robin what happened with Shannon and he makes a difficult decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is part two of the two part chapter. There’s going to be more sadness before things come together for BR right now it’s a difficult hard time for them. There’s some sex in this chapter but nothing graphic so don’t expect that in this chapter. The graphic sex is over, of course there will be sex in a later chapter but it won’t be graphic.
> 
> Enjoy this, there is about five more chapters to go so hope you all stay tuned.

“I didn’t breakup with Shannon.” After about a half hour trying to calm Barney down from his breakdown. Robin is sitting on her brand new couch in her new apartment with him. He just couldn’t stop crying and the more she tried to calm him so they could talk, the more he cried. She has never seen him like this before he completely lost it when they were at the front door before.

Barney, had come to her not in tears, at first. The moment he saw her in front of him he begins to tear up. As they held each other at the doorway of her new apartment she could feel him hug her tighter, he starts shaking in her arms and then sobbed. He sobbed for a whole half hour, but nothing stopped him from being this emotional so he just continued to cry and shake in her arms. Barney is usually so well put together, he rarely shows his emotions (she’s like that too sometimes) but in this moment he completely breaks. Holding her, it set off something inside him that he held in for all these years. Not breaking up with Shannon allowed him to completely breakdown from all the emotions and feelings he’s been feeling for years. It felt great. Amazing, to hold her, and she felt the same. It’s been a while since she’s held him as he cried. The last time it was around the time he reunited with his father. Now, the reason behind his breakdown is a completely different and more complicated reason and situation. This time it’s about the rest of their lives.

“Why, couldn’t you breakup with her?” She asks now that he stopped crying and looked at her.

“I couldn’t. Robin, you should have seen how happy she was. It’s like she’s a whole different person after that retreat she went on. I just came from our conversation earlier and I just... wanted to come see you to tell you this in person. I couldn’t breakup with her because not only was she so happy, she was happy because she wants to start over. She wants a restart of our relationship. She had been going through a lot, emotionally to focus her attention on me and our relationship. She could only focus on our daughter. Ellie has been her main priority since she was born and since Ellie’s birth she wasn’t in her right mind to be a mother and be in a relationship with me at the same time. So she started to push me away and soon she just didn’t think to care about our relationship or my feelings. She pushed a lot of people away because of her illness. But, now she wants us to start over and I told her I had to think about it, meaning I had to come see and talk to you. Of course I didn’t say that to her, she left after she took Ellie an hour ago. She doesn’t know anything about us, our relationship. I couldn’t tell her, I just didn’t get to. But I wanted to, I really did. I didn’t want to break my promise to you.” Robin is completely shocked that he didn’t breakup with Shannon like he promised he’d do. It makes her look/stare at him in shock not knowing what to say here. She knows she feels angry with him, so angry that he broke his promise to her. But can she really fault him in this? She broke her own promises to him, her marriage vows and all the other promises she made him. She ruined her own life by giving up on their marriage. So no she can’t fault him on not breaking up a relationship he’s been steady in for the last three years. That’s unfair, not to just Barney and Shannon, but their daughter. Ellie is more important here than anything or anyone else.

“Say something.” He says after the few minutes sitting here with her staring at him with wide eyes. He hasn’t seen that look in ages.

“Look, I understand that you couldn’t break up your relationship. Shannon was going through a hard time postpartum. It’s only logical that you wouldn’t want to break her heart after recovering from her illness. But I’m disappointed, not a lot but a little disappointed that you didn’t keep your promise. But, I still want to be with you. Can’t we still be together even if you’re still with Shannon?” That’s a difficult question to answer. He would say yes, he would be with her. They could be together in a heartbeat. He has waited for four years to be with her. He would take this opportunity right now to say yes he wants to be with her and they can have a relationship (not that they haven’t had one already, since they were together all of last week). He loves her and that should be enough to keep his relationship intact with Shannon and still see her. But, he knows he can’t do that. This isn’t four/five years ago, or even before they got engaged. He has grown up, not because of his relationship with Shannon but because he has a child now to care for. It isn’t just about Shannon and feelings for her. He has a child, they have a child together. He can’t keep being in a relationship with Shannon and have this secret relationship with Robin continue. It’s unfair to Ellie.

“No, I don’t think we can be together. Robin, I do love you. More than anything. But Ellie comes first, I need to be around my daughter she’s only three months old. She needs me and she needs Shannon. There’s not a way for us to continue this relationship. You know I would be with you right now if I didn’t have Ellie to think about. I’m sorry, but we can’t be...” as he was explaining this situation to her she herself started to cry, by the end of what he was saying to her she was/is crying. She completely, this time it is her who has the breakdown.

“What? Barney you can’t. I love you, I know you have Ellie but you’re not in love with Shannon. How can you promise me that you’ll breakup with her don’t? And then come here and tell me that we can’t be together. I understand that Ellie’s your main priority but what about me, our happiness?” She’s bawling, he didn’t want to break her heart not after everything they went through and just talked about all week. But, he wants to try to give his relationship with Shannon a chance... for Ellie’s sake.

“Robin, if I could be with you now I would. But I want to try giving my relationship with Shannon a chance. Up until Ellie was born, we were happy. Our relationship was going really well, we had spent a lot of time together when Shannon was pregnant. But after Ellie was born she changed, she wasn’t herself. She had an illness. It prevented her from being attentive in our relationship. I didn’t realize it until she told me about having postpartum depression but it prevented her from moving forward in our relationship. We were on that path of moving in together before you came back for the wedding. I do love you, but I also do love Shannon too. She’s an even bigger part of my life now and I want to give my relationship with her a chance. I’m sorry, I just have to.” No, she’s not having it. She’s not giving up on them. He loves her... this is so not fair. This is not what should be happening.

“No.” She says pulling on his jacket. “No, no, nope. No. I’m not hearing this. No, please give us a chance. I waited so long to be with you. We told each other that we’re going to be together.” As she says this he tries to pull away from her grasp on his arm but she keeps pulling him to her. She pulls his face to look at her since he’s looking away, then starts to kiss him on his face, all over his face.

“Please.” She’s begging now. She’s never begged for anything in her life. But she needs him. So begging him to not leave her, it’s the only way to stop him from walking out her door again... only this time it’s her actual apartment and not a hotel room.

“No.” He tries to pull away but it seems that her grip on him is more tighter than usual.

As he pulls away again she continues to hold onto his arm and pulling his face to look at her.

“Don’t.” She whispers in her tearing voice.

“I-I...” and after another second he gives up.

He kisses her. God he wants her so bad, he couldn’t give up the fight she’s having with him, so he gives in and it wasn’t supposed to end this way. They were supposed to be together. This should be a happy time with no tears. Just pure happiness after his breakup with Shannon. But it’s not, it’s a sad time after not breaking up with Shannon.

He just couldn’t fight her anymore. This is the most she’s ever fought for him... for them. She’s never put up this much of a fight for him before. She just gave up so easily on their marriage. This is something she should have done before they decided to end their marriage.

“I love you.” She tells him between kisses and pulling on clothes.

“You know I do.” And he tries to give a slight smile but deep in his heart he aches. He aches for her, he desperately wants to be with her. He doesn’t want to continue his relationship with Shannon. But, he can’t help it or fight it, so he doesn’t. He should be stopping this, but kissing her, it feels incredible. Amazingly right. This feeling is why he has never stopped loving her. Their connection is so strong, so much stronger than his connection with Shannon. But he doesn’t stop it because he doesn’t want to even though this is not going to end good for either of them. Every time they get into this kind of situation it always ends the same way. With a ton of regret and mixed signals.

The last time she broke his heart so deeply it took him months to forgive her and move on. He even tried another relationship with another woman but he knew, always did. That Robin is the one and that never changed.

They, continue to kiss and pull off clothes and it is heaven. This should be a happy reunion, but instead it’s a sad departure of their relationship again. This should be their time again. Instead it’s another heartbreaking breakup.

As he lifts her from the couch. His mind is in a constant battle of two things. Going through with this or not going through with it. The more he thinks the more he can’t seem to let go or let her go. He carries her to her bedroom and it feels like the last time... the last time they’ll be able to do this. This is the last time they get to be with each other. He closes his eyes as he kisses her forehead walking towards the bedroom and as he walks into the bedroom he notices her new bed. Yesterday, after the gang helped her move in, Barney stayed behind to help her find a new bed online. She wanted to buy a new bed immediately she didn’t want to wait until later in this week so they looked online at new beds and came upon this one. She really liked it because it is kind of like his bed. Well not his bed the bed they had picked out together before they got married. The one he ruined when he was upset and mad about their divorce. She knew that once she saw that bed it will be perfect for her. He immediately called her out on it saying that the bed looks like their old one. She couldn’t deny it and started laughing saying yeah that’s why she is going to buy it. She bought it right then and had put a rush on the bed. She had just received the bed earlier today while he was talking with Shannon.

“They really put the bed together in just a couple of hours?” He asks her putting her down gently on her new bed.

“It only took one hour. And they brought it quickly too, they were here at the time I asked them to be here.” She is leaning back with her arms on the mattress smiling, giving him this ‘I want you look’ he smiles back and winks.

“I shouldn’t be doing this,” he says still debating with his mind on if he should go through with this. “But, you just drive me crazy. I can’t help it, you always made me feel that way.” That’s a really sweet thing to say, she feels that way too. Always have, always will.

“Then get over here and show me how much you mean it.” And he does stripping off some of his remaining clothes but keeping on his socks, underwear and the tank top that he wears when the warmer months arrive.

“I can’t lose you again.” Robin says hours later as they laid side by side after two hours of sex and then another 15 minutes of them just curled up together not wanting to let the other go yet. Her voice is kind of sore from all the emotions in the last two almost three hours. But she wanted to express what she’s feeling right now.

“I can’t lose you either. I don’t want to, I didn’t want to come here to tell you that I didn’t go through with the breakup. But I just couldn’t break Shannon’s heart like that, it would be cruel to break up with her after everything she has been through and telling me what she told me. I don’t want to break neither of your hearts. I do love you both, you are both important to me in my life. But we still can’t be together, at least not until I know for sure if my relationship with Shannon will work out or not.” He doesn’t want this to be the end for them. He wants her to still be in his life even if they can’t be together romantically. He still cares about her and wants her in his life and in his daughter’s life, as his friend. Her friendship has always been his lifeline ever since they met and it still is. Losing, Robin completely is not what he wants. He realized today that he can’t go down a path without her in his life someway. 

“Okay. I, can accept that. I want to be in your life, I don’t want to go down another road without being in your life in someway. I thought I was going to lose you completely if I didn’t come back when I did. I went to the wedding because I wanted to see you. That’s the only reason why I came back home.” And that’s the first time since returning to New York that she calls it home. He is her home and she is not going to leave him again. She’s going to stay here in this state, in this city and in his life until he is ready to be with her again.

“Okay, I’m glad because I really can’t lose you again Robin. I went through the most painful time after we finalized the divorce. I can’t have you not in my life, it’s not how I want to live my life.” And for the first time since learning that he didn’t break off his relationship with Shannon... she smiles and leans in to kiss him.

They make love again for the last time and then he leaves as she sleeps, leaving her a note on her bedside table.

_Dear Robin,_

_I love you, do know that you mean so much to me. I have loved you for many years and each year that I have known you I fell more and more until my heart couldn’t live without you. I know that this time is hard. It will be hard for both of us. But, know that your friendship over the years since we met has made me a better man. I am better because I have you in my life. Even when we aren’t together romantically, your friendship always remained my solace in the most hardest of times. You have been my rock for a long time. Your caring and love made me grow so that my daughter could have the father she needs. Know that we will be together again someday. But my daughter needs me in her life so that’s why I am choosing her instead of us. I am not choosing Shannon over you, I am choosing my daughter. I love you so very much, every day my love becomes more deeper for you and I couldn’t begin to live my life without you in it again. So, yes we’ll be friends for now that is the only thing in this time I ask of you. Don’t run away on me again, I have gotten over the divorce but I haven’t gotten over you. Talk soon!_

_Love; _

_Barney_

When, Robin reads the note it is hours after he left. At night, he had left at 6pm and she doesn’t see the note until she wakes up at 7 without him lying next to her.

She bawls, when she reads it she just bawls she just lost him again. And once again she is blaming herself on the timing of everything. If only she could just go back to that day in Argentina and fight for him. For them, they wouldn’t be in this situation. They would still be married and living their lives. But instead she took the cowards way out of the mess they got themselves in towards the end. He tried to save them, their relationship, their marriage one last time but she needed her space. And now he has a whole other life a life that yes in someway does include her but it doesn’t. He has a family, that hurts her more than anything else could. Lily was right, she saw it coming. She didn’t want her to get hurt and now she has, because Barney wants to be a good father and role model for his daughter. Yes, he’s in love with her but he also loves Shannon and wants to give his relationship with her a chance.

This is so not what she wanted when she decided to come back here. Barney doesn’t want her to run away from him again, and she wants to but she knows that she can’t. She just got her life back, she has a whole new job now at WWN and this new apartment. She can’t leave again, especially when he wants her in his life. He has always been her best friend so she’s willing to give him that. To be his friend, she doesn’t want to live her life without being in his life someway. As much as this hurts, him not breaking up with Shannon and choosing his daughter over her and them. She’s going to be his friend, it’s the least she can do after everything they both been through.


	16. We Experience Life’s Pains (Robin’s POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a surprise chapter even I was shocked when I wrote it. This is a two part POV about B/R’s relationship and what comes next for them. It’s five weeks later, after they last slept together. 
> 
> I was originally going to not go this route but feel like there needs to be a little more drama before they have their happy ending. Next chapter will have Barney’s POV and from there own the story will conclude. I will have this story have 20 chapters then it’s the end.
> 
> Thanks for reading!

In the five weeks following their last time together, Barney and Robin haven’t spoken. It was the hardest thing Barney ever had to do, leave Robin. Again, after four years of regret. Four years of grief, four years of wondering if one of them will call, text or wonder what the other one is doing in their lives. Four years of thinking that maybe, just maybe if Robin can pull herself together and fix things between her and Barney. She would have come home sooner, then he wouldn’t have the life he has now. So much of her regret of giving up on Barney and their marriage, was thinking that he would just follow her everywhere she went, that he would be there when she came home. When she came back to New York that one time to pack her things and move out officially, she hoped that maybe he was home so that she could talk to him and try to work things out. But, when she came back to move out he wasn’t at the apartment, he was out somewhere doing god knows what all day. She remembers opening the front door to their apartment and thinking if he’s there then she would have asked him if there’s still a chance for them, even with her job. She wouldn’t give up on her job but she would have tried to compromise because this was all her fault. She let things build and build until she lost him, not only did she lose her marriage. She lost him completely now, because he has decided to give his relationship with another woman a chance. 

Robin, spends the last four weeks after the last time she saw Barney, working and finding things to do in her new apartment. She had bought new furniture, two big screen tv’s, a dining table, chairs, bedding for her new bed, groceries and other necessities. And, then Lily stops by...

“Where have you been? I’ve been calling and texting for the last two weeks.” Lily says without letting Robin say anything. Lily pushes Robin aside and walks into her friends new apartment causing Robin to be shocked by her intrusive behavior in her apartment.

“I’ve been busy. Haven’t responded to any calls, texts or email.” Besides the ones for my job she thinks to herself.

“Why haven’t you returned my calls or texts? You couldn’t be _that_ busy.” Lily’s so obnoxious when she demands things and it seems like every time she doesn’t respond to her, she freaks out, yells at her or thinks they’re not friends anymore. Sometimes, Robin thinks the same thing. But she and her two different people, with two completely different lives. Lily has the rest of her life planned out. But, she... she just lost the love of her life to someone else all because he has a kid. And it’s the second most painful thing that has ever happened to her.

“I have been busy... with work... I started my show. It’s been keeping me busy. I didn’t have time to reply to anything.” That’s partly the truth. She has really been crying for days on end at night when she’s alone. Pretending that everything is okay during the day. But she’s not doing okay. Everything before she came back felt normal and relaxed. She was relaxed. But now it’s even more complicated than the months leading up to their separation. Now, she knows she has lost Barney for good and there’s nothing she can do to change that decision.

“A hah, a hah. You can dropped the act now, Robin I know that Barney’s with Shannon. They’re talking about living together.” And that stops her pacing around, she stops and looks up at her friend. Robin is shocked that Lily knows that something was going on between her and Barney, what Lily just said halts her in her movements.

“Okay, fine. He chose Shannon. Are you happy now? You can go right ahead and say ‘I told you so’ I officially lost him.” Robin sits down in a small living room sofa/chair and rubs her eyes to keep from having her tears escape from her eyes.

“No. Not happy. Worried. Yes I knew you were going to get hurt but I don’t want to be that kind of friend right now. I know you must be hurting.” Lily was going to say ‘I told you this would happen’ but then she sees Robin getting upset so she stops herself from saying what she wanted. She knows that Robin is hurting, especially after what Barney told her last week.

“I lost everything...” Robin says bowing her hands onto her forehead. She means Barney which Lily already knows what she means. 

“He chose his daughter. He didn’t chose Shannon. He loves me. He wants his daughter to have him in her life and wants Shannon in his daughter’s life. He loves but isn’t in love with Shannon and until I came back they were discussing moving in together but Shannon was unwell at the time. So, Barney wants to give his relationship with Shannon a chance. Before I came back he was happy with her, had a steady relationship and was being a great father and partner she needed. But, that didn’t make him suddenly forget me... or what we have. He is trying to make it work with her but only because of their daughter.” When she says this her stomach aches. She feels that emptiness within her body again. It’s almost actually like an actual stomach ache. She feels him with her, and the child that they could have had together all over again, like when she learned of her miscarriage when she was told about her infertility.

Robin, holds and pushes in on her stomach like she’s doubling over in pain as she sits. This pain feels like the most excruciating feeling she’s ever had. Her body is reacting to something...

“Robin are you okay?” Lily says once she sees her friend looking to be in pain as she holds her stomach.

Robin shakes her head, “what’s wrong?” Robin doesn’t respond. But she tries to lift her head to look at Lily’s worried face.

Robin’s crying, this is much more than what Lily thought. This pain her friend is in, she has never seen her like this before.

“I don’t know but I have this sharp pain in my stomach.” Lily looks at her with wide eyes, not knowing what to do at first but then she goes over to Robin and squats down holding onto her legs. Robin’s voice is so pained, Lily doesn’t know what to do to help her.

“Can you try to lean back?” Lily says wanting Robin to sit up straight without sitting forward like she is.

Robin shakes her head no but tries to sit up.

“Do you need water, pills, something to eat? Anything?” Lily asks needing to know what’s going on.

“I need you to call 911.” Robin says in a faint voice.

Lily calls right away and they pick up right away. Lily tells them what’s going on and that Robin is turning pale and has severe pains in her stomach. The dispatcher then sends the paramedics to Robins address.

“How are the pains now?” Lily asks, noticing her face turning paler.

“Same.” Robin tries to say through her faint and teary voice.

Eight minutes later, the paramedics knock at Robin’s door and Lily answers. Lily tells them the situation and then they tend to Robin.

“Miss, what are the pains like now?” One of the paramedics asks. There’s two, a male and a female.

“Not as sharp as five minutes ago but still there.”

The paramedics look Robin over checking her heart rate, blood pressure, temperature, then her stomach... when the female paramedic moves a stethoscope over her stomach she hears a sound that startled her.

“I know why you’re experiencing these pains. You’re pregnant, miss Scherbatsky.” Lily stands there next to Robin, her mouth wide open in shock but her face is soft with an ‘aw’ look. “Aw, Robin.” Putting her feelings aside for a minute about this Barney & Robin situation. She realizes this news just changes everything... for her best friends.

“What?” It takes a minute for Robin to take in what the paramedic is telling her.

“You’re pregnant. Congratulations. That is what caused your pains.”

“But, I can’t get pregnant.” With Lily’s hand on Robin’s shoulder she realizes that Robin was told by her own doctor years ago that she can’t have kids. And that thought causes Lily to squeeze her friends shoulder.

“Well, you are miss.” Wow, these last few weeks have been the most difficult time in her life. She loses Barney to another woman whom he has a kid with, and now she’s surprisingly knocked up.

“Aren’t you Robin Scherbatsky?” The male paramedic asks realizing just now that Robin is thee Robin Scherbatsky from Metro New One, Come on, Wake Up New York and World Wide News. He had spent his college days watching her on Metro News 1 and GOWUNY, and just a few years ago she was an anchor on WWN. He has followed her career for the past 15 years.

“Yes.” Robin says looking at the tall, handsome paramedic that eight/nine years ago would have made her cheer and smile cause someone knows who she is. She would even date him. But one look at him and she feels nothing. 

Looking at the female paramedic “am I really pregnant?” She asks not really believing that there’s a baby growing inside her pained stomach.

“You are, but just to be sure would it be okay if I do a sonogram?” The female paramedic is being so nice about this but it’s all so shocking to her.

“Yeah, I want to be sure about this.” With her stomach pains slowly easing off, Robin thinks that if she doesn’t know for sure if she’s really pregnant she might lose it. She’s been beyond stressed and emotionally drained. She can’t physically take anymore... of anything.

“See, right there. There’s a small looking dot on the small monitor. “From the looks of it you’re three weeks pregnant. The baby is still there it’s just your stomach experiencing pregnancy symptoms.” And then it hits her... her. Her stomach pains are somehow pregnancy symptoms and not what she thought which was emotional symptoms from telling Lily about Barney and their relationship.

“Aw, Robin. You really are pregnant.” Lily says after allowing the paramedics and Robin talk. She’s looking at the small monitor, the baby is just a small dot but it’s there.

“I am.” Robin says looking up at her friend. Her tears had subsided but now that she knows she’s pregnant she doesn’t know what to do, say or think right now. But she’s letting this all sink in.

Four weeks after Robin last saw Barney, their last time together wasn’t their last. It was their future...

After the paramedics leave, it’s just Lily and Robin...


	17. The Heart Is Right but The Mind isn’t Yet (Barney’s POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Barney’s POV about what has been going on recently in his mind since he left Robin. This is the beginning of the end of this story, I should have the last three chapters posted by the end of this month, hopefully. Enjoy!

“Don’t tell anyone, okay? Especially Barney!” Robin, after the paramedics left a few minutes ago and collected herself emotionally. She stands up feeling a bit better but still weighing what just happened on her mind. She wants to keep this pregnancy a secret, until it’s the right time to say something. She needs to think more, this news is shocking but her heart. It’s giving her mind some clarity on this shocking turn of events for her. She still doesn’t want anyone to know especially Barney about this pregnancy until she figures this out for herself first.

“Why? He would want to know that you’re pregnant. He loves you, or so you said.” Lily isn’t sure why Robin wants to keep this wonderful and joyous miracle a secret.

“I can’t tell him right now. He’s just getting to be a family with his daughter, I don’t want to ruin anymore of his life.” She really needs a drink right now but she knows she can’t drink. Ugh, her life has come to this. The man she loves and is going to have a baby with, is with his girlfriend right now being parents to their daughter. If she tells him that she’s pregnant it will ruin what happiness he has been wanting and trying to have before she came back.

“Yeah, but he would want to know. Robin, if you say he loves you and is in love with you then it wouldn’t be a choice anymore. He would choose you, you were and are, and always will be the love of that man’s life. Shannon doesn’t even come close to what you two share, and now you can give him what I know you wanted to for years.” Lily’s right but it’s still not the right time.

“I know. He does love me and I want to be with him but telling him this now after he made that difficult choice. I came back to New York to get some closure but all my return did was ruin what happiness Barney had tried to have.” She’s crying again, she needs water she feels overwhelmed and drained, she can’t keep putting herself through this pain.

“Robin, listen to me. When I withheld my pregnancy during your wedding weekend from Marshall. It almost destroyed us. We had one of the biggest fights of our relationship. But, we worked out those issues we had and now we have a beautiful daughter, who loves her aunt Robin. I know, whatever problems you and Barney had in the past, those aren’t important anymore. He stopped himself from going off the deep end when he reunited with Shannon because he was so hurt by you leaving him. Yes, he has a relationship with Shannon and a child with her but now you are having a child with the man you loved for years. You made mistakes, but those mistakes aren’t going to cost you the man you love...” she pauses and smiles lightly at her friend who is drinking water and feels like she just might faint this time. She sits back down but this time on her sofa.

“It’s going to make his life completed. He loves you, not Shannon. If you say he isn’t in love with her, then that’s your only shot now to be with him. There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s going to be overjoyed about your unexpected pregnancy. Take it from me, who almost lost the man I love twice. It’s never easy getting over that type of pain and it never goes away it stuck with me and Marshall until that night before your wedding. If you let things build up without talking it will only make things worse. I know you don’t want to lose him completely so you should tell him. But, it is up to you to make that decision. Because that is your decision and only your decision to make.” Robin’s crying, what Lily just said made so much sense to her. But she doesn’t know how to tell Barney what she just found out.

Barney, has been quite happy in the last four weeks. Since, he and Shannon decided to move in together, they’re thinking about the next step in their life together. He has been happy, things with Shannon couldn’t be more normal right now. But, he still can’t stop thinking about Robin. Ever since he left her that afternoon, with a note practically telling her that he made a choice for his daughter’s sake. He had thought about that time, while still figuring out what’s next in his relationship with Shannon. Being a family is what he wanted, having Shannon live with him so he can be around his daughter was the only concern he had. And then Robin came home and it’s been so hard to not think of her all the time, even more than he did two years ago before he and Shannon became girlfriend and boyfriend.

“So, what do you think now about moving in here with me for our daughter to have both of her parents in one place?” He asks Shannon three days after he left Robin that note.

“I have been thinking about it. And, I think it’s the best solution. I know Ellie wants her father in her life, she loves you so yeah. Let’s do this move.” And so they do, a week later he helps her pack her downtown apartment to start the move, and the day after the move Barney runs into Lily. He wasn’t looking to see any of his friends today. He hadn’t seen any of the gang in weeks not since Robin’s move to her new apartment. 

“Barney, how’s it been? I haven’t seen you since Robin’s housewarming.” That was the last time Lily saw Barney, and it was also the time she found out about what was really going on with her two best friends.

“I’m doing great. I am moving in with Shannon, well she’s moving in with me, to my place after months of asking her to live with me.” Lily, has seen the change in Barney ever since his daughter was born but she also knows that he’s still in love with Robin and so she says to him.

“I am happy for you. But what about Robin?” It’s a nice day, to be out strolling with his daughter who is resting on his chest in a baby carrier around his neck. They just came from the park, where they enjoyed the sunshine of the day.

“Hi, there Ellie. Wow she got so big.” She was a tiny peanut when she last saw Ellie. Which was right after she was born. Barney had only let her, Marshall, Ted, and Tracy see her through the window at the hospital in the baby ward. 

“Yeah, she’s four months now. She’s been changing every day. She’s always keeping me on my toes. But now with Shannon back to herself, with her health and all. We’re taking the next step in our relationship and I feel good about that. But, then there’s Robin. I just don’t know what to do, I’ve thought about her in the last few weeks, I just can’t get her out of my head.” He almost feels like crying, out here on the street corner, with people all around him and Lily. But he doesn’t and keeps it together. Plus he doesn’t want to wake Ellie up when she just fell asleep a couple of minutes ago.

“Well, I don’t know what’s going on with you two. But I know that Robin’s totally, completely in love with you. Has been this whole time. And, I think you two need to talk.”

“We did talk. I had to make a big difficult choice, it was hard for me to leave her again but I had to, for my daughter’s sake.” Lily understands that but as hard as this may be for Barney, to make this hard decision. Lily knows that his heart, that is and will always be with Robin. She owns his heart. And even with Ellie owning half of his heart. It still remains that Robin is the one he still wants and loves more than Shannon can even understand.

“I understand that, but Barney. If you really love Robin you need to be honest to Shannon about what you’re feeling. I know Robin loves you, it’s not even a question anymore. She’s putting down her roots here in New York again because of you. You both went through hard times, but you are both strong. So, if you really are in love with Robin, and aren’t in love with Shannon. Then the best thing to do is be honest with Shannon about Robin. You’re 40, you know what you always wanted in your life. So think about what is more important here. Shannon’s happiness or yours.” Lily smiles lightly and Barney smiles back lightly with a nod in agreement.

“I love you both. You know that, but you two are the worst liars I’ve ever known. You never hid how you feel about each other and I believe you can be happy together if you’re just honest with yourself.” And that was the last thing Lily said to Barney before going their separate ways.

In the next week, after running into Barney. Lily knew that she had to talk to Robin, but had a hard time getting a hold of her for that week. When she ran into Barney, she knew she had to confront him about Robin. She isn’t mad that Barney and Robin are sleeping together, or were sleeping together. She’s disappointed in the way they ignored their issues before their divorce and it led to even more heartbreak and this even more complicated situation.

And, now Robin is pregnant which is a whole other issue going on with Lily’s best friends. She wasn’t going to tell Robin that Barney had thought of her all these weeks. And she isn’t going to tell Barney about this pregnancy. But, she knows both of them need a kick in the ass, to get them to actually think about what they always wanted: each other!

Robin, needs to make a decision one that will hopefully change her life. And Barney, he needs to talk to Shannon whatever happens both of them know that their hearts are in the right place. Their minds however aren’t and that needs to change.


	18. We Make Decisions to Make Choices (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are three parts to this chapter they are flashbacks, the night before and present day. The next chapter will conclude this main story and then there will be an epilogue to conclude this story.
> 
> AN: I am calling the show out on the way they treat Barney sorry but it’s true. He deserves better and to be treated like any other human being. I’m a little bitter sorry!

_Robin: The Morning Of Her Decision_

“Hi.” This was such a difficult decision Robin needed to make. Somehow, in the last 24 hours her life has changed. Not even 24, the last month. Robin, knew that if she doesn’t tell Barney what she just found out, it would be likely that she would never tell him which would mean that it might be over between them, this time probably forever. So she thought about what Lily told her and what she’s been feeling and that led to her making the biggest most important decision of her life.

For once, in her life she had to be the one to make a move. This move could be a good thing for her, a good thing for her future. And a good thing for Barney’s future. She had sometime to think about this pregnancy after Lily left and had the rest of the day and night to think about how she will find a way to tell Barney that she’s pregnant. Which is still a huge shock to her. All the emotional and physical pain she has felt in the last month since returning to New York, had taken a toll on her body. And now, she knows that if she wants to start fresh, make a fresh start with Barney. She needs to be honest, even if it means he won’t take this news well. Robin, for the first time in their relationship it feels like she has the courage and strength to follow through with this decision and conversation that will hopefully set up their life together.

Barney 

In the last few weeks Barney had a lot of time to think. It was a decision he made that had broken both his and Robin’s heart. Choosing his daughter over Robin, and deciding to move forward in his relationship with Shannon. But he knew. He knew that moving in with Shannon wasn’t the right move to make and it wasn’t the right time. With, being confused about Robin, his mind wasn’t able to focus on his relationship with Shannon...

_The Night Before_

“Barney, Barney. Hello, I was telling you something and you zoned out.” Shannon says sitting next to him on his couch.

With, Ellie in her crib in her room. Barney and Shannon decided to watch a movie. Well, the last half of a movie, The Little Mermaid. They both had been watching a lot of Disney movies lately for Ellie. But, Barney will teach her about how awesome the original Star Wars is. There’s no doubt in his mind that his daughter is going to be Star Wars fan. And a Karate Kid fan, because she will know who the real Karate Kid is. 

It is a week after Barney talked to Lily. And in that time he has had a lot of time to think. Yes, on the one hand he does love Shannon, there was always that connection, that old connection that they had when they were younger. But he also has been thinking about the connection he has with Robin. Barney isn’t who he was when he was in his early twenties and he isn’t like he was before falling in love with Robin and realizing that she’s The One. That’s something he tried so hard not to believe in or want for a long time. Because of what Shannon did to him that made him change. A relationship with someone again after not really getting over what Shannon did was hard for him to admit to wanting. Since their early twenties, both him and Shannon has grown and now understand more about their relationship. They talked and talked until they couldn’t fight that old connection coming back. Being friends was good, he needed someone in his life to pick him up and put his self back together after his divorce. And Shannon, she did just that and he fell back in love with her. There is no doubt that Shannon is and will always be apart of his life, no matter the decision he had to figure out on his own.

In the last week, Barney knew that even with Ellie, he and Shannon had been working on moving forward in their relationship but he still didn’t feel right about it. Shannon moving to his apartment where he and Robin spent the time when she came home together in. It didn’t feel right lying to her, keeping the fact that he had been having an affair with Robin after she came home. If this was old immature Barney, he would keep lying to Shannon and himself for the sake of himself. But because they have a little girl who has been depending on them to be parents to her. He knew he couldn’t do that. So, in this week Barney has thought about what is best for everyone in his life, Robin, Shannon and Ellie. All day he’s been unsure and nervous about admitting to cheating on Shannon with Robin but he knew that being honest now, it will help them both figure things out for their daughter. He wanted to be with Shannon because of their daughter but he realized that he can’t do that without feeling guilty or making him look like a lying, cheating, jerk when he wasn’t either of those things. So he knew he had to come clean and tell Shannon the truth.

“Yeah?” He finally says something after Shannon was trying to get his attention for the last couple of minutes.

“The movie is almost over, want to go to bed? It’s been a long day.” It’s a week day, Barney had worked during the day but his work ended at 5. Then, Shannon comes back from running some errands with Ellie shortly after he came home from work.

Shannon wants to go to bed but Barney was in his own mind thinking about what he knew he needs to confess to, right here, and right now. While things are quiet in the apartment his mind started to drift to Robin again, he debated if he should confess what he has been feeling. When he came to that conclusion in his head, the only thing to do since they’re alone and it’s quiet was to admit to Shannon what was really going on between him and Robin for the last month.

“Shannon. I need to tell you something.” He says taking the remote and turning off the tv.

“What? What is it?” He doesn’t want to make a big scene, making her upset with him. But he needs to tell her this before he decides not to. 

Being a coward, he doesn’t want to be a cheating lying coward or make Shannon think he is those things, so this is it. The start of his life restarting over. He wants to be with Robin, and that’s what he’s about to tell Shannon.

“When, I went to Ted’s wedding something happened. I didn’t think or know that she would come to the wedding or if I would ever see her again. Robin, came to the wedding unexpectedly. While at the wedding reception she told me that she came back to see me...” this was so hard to explain but he needs to get it all out, he needs Shannon to understand his feelings and what has happened between him and Robin after she came home. He couldn’t leave any detail out so that’s what he is doing. Telling the truth, it is hard for him to admit that the last month brought back how he’s felt for the last four years. Being honest with Shannon is the only way for them, himself and everyone to be happy, his happiness he knows is with Robin and it always was.

“She told me that she still loves me. We talked, yelled and a lot of things that were built up from our divorce and relationship had come out. Robin...” this is so hard to do when they’re sitting so close to each other on the couch. He gets up to give both of them the space they need for him to continue on telling her what he needs to. “Uhm, had been staying with me the week that you were in recovery at the meditation retreat upstate.”

“I knew it. Robin was here that morning I saw you to tell you about the issues I was having. She wasn’t here to say hello. She was staying here. With you. Oh my god. You slept with her.” Shannon finishes, already knowing what he was going to say. She knew that Robin was back in town but she did believe that she had just returned home that day and not for the wedding. But, it all makes sense now why Barney has been acting suspiciously quiet lately, sure he seemed ready and sure about her moving into this apartment and she wanted to move in because she was ready to make that move. Moving forward in their relationship. But, she knew something was going on with Barney, and possibly his relationship with Robin ever since she saw Robin that morning last month. She just didn’t say anything about it.

He closes his eyes shocked that Shannon knows or somehow figured out that he was sleeping with Robin while she was in recovery. Their history together, brought up feelings that Shannon knew he still had for Robin. She has been jealous. Jealous of the fact that Barney’s relationship with Robin effected him more. Meaning, Robin is the one who hurt him the most because his heart never repaired itself from the pain of his divorce. Barney had struggled with moving on from that painful event in his life. And that made Shannon jealous and envious of Barney’s relationship with another woman. That is why she had a problem with him going to the wedding because she knew that Robin might show.

“I’m sorry I had kept this from you. We, talked a lot over the week you were away realizing that we still are in love. I tried so hard to not cheat on you because I do love you, you are important in my life not just because of Ellie but because you helped me heal from my divorce and heartbreak. But that pain of that heartbreak, it still lingered inside me the whole time we were together. I was truly happy that we reunited when we did because I don’t know where I would be if it wasn’t for you. You helped me find happiness again and I don’t take that for granted. You were my first love, but when you broke up with me. That was it... I didn’t look back after a while, I was hurt by you but I moved on. Sure, I had taken my hurt anger out on Greg because I was mad with you for lying, cheating and coldly breaking up with me. That was and is in the past now. But my future, I had wanted to spend the rest of my life with Robin. She is the love of my life... I had done a lot of thinking over the last month and even this week about what I want. The more I think about what I want the more I can’t stop thinking about Robin. I’m in love with her, I realized I always was. I did feel remorseful about cheating on you and I hope you know that this wasn’t anything to do with our past, because I am over that. But it is about happiness. For all of us. I don’t mean to breakup with you like this after everything you just went through. But I just can’t deny that Robin is the one I want to be with.

A few weeks ago. I thought I had to give my relationship with you a try, because I don’t want Ellie to grow up without you or me in her life. I know how it feels to grow up without a parent. I went to Robin and told her that I couldn’t be with her. I regretted that choice, choosing you and El over her. But, since then I had really thought about it. What do I want? The answer is I want my wife back. I regret asking you to move in here with me fully knowing that it wasn’t the right move. I slept with Robin thinking it would be the last time I’d ever get to be with her. I know now that it isn’t our last time. It’s the beginning of the rest of my life.” As Barney talked, Shannon does listen to what he has been telling her. She became mad, almost angry with him for lying to her this whole time, plus the cheating which made her even more mad with him. But, as he talked the more she softened and just listened to what he had to say.

Losing Barney, again after thinking that they would have a life together. That, hits her so hard like a punch in the face. She loves Barney, but knows he isn’t in love with her and never was.

“Why did you lie to me all this time? Why couldn’t you just tell me what was going on between you and your ex?” As painful as this is for her, Shannon stepped back from her anger and betrayal to ask him why he wasn’t truthful to her about his feelings and what he and Robin had been up to when she was away getting the help she needed to be there for her daughter.

“I was going to tell you, but then you told me about your illness so I wanted to support you because your mental health and Ellie is what was important, more important than Robin or anything else. Your health came first because I don’t want you to not be in our daughter’s life. I thought it would be better to let you get the help and care that you need, to be there for Ellie. But, now is the right time. Because you’re better now, healthy. I thought by trying to let Robin go that it would help me to move on, with you. But I just couldn’t stop feeling the way I do. I’m in love with her. I am sorry for lying to you all this time but I couldn’t keep lying to myself anymore. You do mean a lot to me, we have history and a daughter together. But, my world... she came home. She came back here for me and for us. I can’t be without being with her so moving in together. It was the wrong move.” Shannon is shocked but not surprised by Barney’s turn of events.

She knew going into their relationship beyond their friendship was a risk. Because she knew he was still in love with Robin, that’s something she knew he would never get over or move past from. Losing his wife, caused him more pain than she thought. She tried to look past it, to get him to move on from the divorce (and sure it worked for a while) but she couldn’t get him to forget her, to truly move on. She thought she had helped him move on several times in the last two years. She thought that if she got him to open up to a relationship past the friendship they would rediscover what they had when they were younger reunite his past feelings for her, would make him fall in love with her again, after all that time apart. Living their lives apart, was something that eventually did have him move on from their relationship to meet the woman he knows is his true love.

This is something she thought he was over but when Robin returned back to New York, all of their plans... her plans to be a family with Barney and their daughter changed his mind.

_The Morning of Ted’s wedding_

“So you’re really going to the wedding?” She asks him when she comes to pick up Ellie from him since she had been staying with him for the last two days while she was dealing with her health problems and her family doing an intervention.

“Yeah, I have to go. They’re my best friends.” He says, but she calls him out on that reasoning.

“They’re not your friends Barney. What you told me about the way they treated you. That doesn’t seem like they cared at all about your feelings. You may have found yourself some nice people to hang out with after losing your only true friend and me. You might think that those people care about you but they don’t. You did everything for them but in return, what did they do for you?” Yes, he told her when they became friends all about the group of friends he has and about Robin. She knows how horrible they all treated him. Ted, wasn’t a true friend, he was pretty awful to him for all those years. He took the blame for everything that happened in Ted’s life and he didn’t see it that way. Marshall and Lily have their own separate life apart from him and even Ted from what she gathers. And, Robin... poor delusional Barney falls in love and she leaves him. Why did she leave him when he did all the things he did for her over those years after he met Robin? She didn’t love or care enough to move past their problems and made it difficult for both of them to compromise on their issues. Robin is selfish and way too career obsessed to care about Barney’s needs and wants. And she thinks that Robin never loved him all that much. Robin will never understand the real Barney she has loved all of her adult life. He’s too insecure to realize these things on his own, his friends and Robin don’t care what he wants or needs for himself, but she does.

Shannon might have dumped him all those years ago for not living up to her young girl expectations of a boyfriend then dumps him to run off with a guy she barely knew, who was much older than her, who seemed to care. But a month into their relationship, she started to see Greg for who he really was. Plus, what she had with Greg was an affair since he had kids, two ex wife’s and a mortgage pay off. He was known to not be the nice guy she had met two months prior to breaking up with Barney, and she believed he was telling her the truth when he told her that he loves her or told her how beautiful she was. She felt desired enough to cheat on Barney. Whom she loved and had been with for four years. She planned on having a life with him. She knows what it feels like to truly love someone and take them for granted. She and Robin, did the same thing... leaving Barney to pursue other things. And both women came to regret those choices.

“I met Robin. Look, I’m not going to the wedding to see Robin. I’m going to see my friends and friend get married to woman who made me realize that if I don’t fight for Robin then there won’t be another chance at being with her. I love you, Shannon. I’m over Robin, my future is with you and Ellie.” To get her to believe him, he had to make her believe that he doesn’t love Robin anymore. He hopes that this conversation doesn’t lead to more of a fight over his ex. That would not be good to get into right now.

“Barney, I know you mean well by showing up at this wedding. You all don’t even see each other anymore. They don’t call you, or see you. They don’t even know that you’re seeing me. They think that you’re single and got some slut pregnant. If you’re not willing to admit that they don’t care about you, then there’s nothing I can do to change your mind.” This argument started off with shouting at each other, then they stop the shouting, argument to talk in normal tones. And then Barney knew he had to find a way for Shannon to believe that he isn’t going to this wedding in hopes to see Robin again. But he couldn’t continue arguing with her over Robin and his friends who did invite him to the wedding, when he needs to prepare for his trip to White Plains.

“No, there isn’t.” He doesn’t want this to become more than it is so telling her what he had to, what she needed to hear was the only way for him to get out of this argument without yelling and telling her off. “I’m going rather you like it or not. I get that you think that they aren’t my friends, but they are. Tracy and Ted invited me, and I still have contact with them. I am not going for Robin I’m going because my best bro is getting married, that’s important to me.” He says this standing right in front of her so that she knows that what he’s saying is the truth and believable.

“Okay?” He says giving her a half smirked smile hoping that she isn’t going to keep asking him not to go to the wedding.

“Ok.” She smiles lightly before he kisses her.

End of Flashback (The Morning After)

And so, Barney breaks up with Shannon but not before she screams, yells and calls him many bad names. It had to happen, no matter what happens now, Barney knows he made the right decision for everyone. He asks Shannon to move out, not because he wants Robin to move in with him. But because it’s the right thing to do. The right move after making the wrong move after knowing he still loves and wants to be with Robin.

“By the way, I wasn’t going to say anything but I found this while you were at work two weeks ago.” Shannon says mad... she is mad, angry, hurt, upset and wants to smack him really hard or punch him. But she doesn’t instead she shows him something he didn’t even know was in this apartment.

“Where’d you find that?” He says to her, unsure what to do when she shows him a piece of jewelry she had found when she was cleaning the apartment. She found this item in a draw in his bedroom.

“Robin must of left it behind when you slept.. I should say cheated on me.” Bitter and angry, that’s what she feels right now.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you about everything that was going on. But you do mean a lot to me, you will always be Eleanor’s mother, that’s a very important and special thing to have in her life. She’s always going to be your daughter no matter how we raise her.” He’s trying to apologize as much as he needs to to make her understand that this choice he made, it wasn’t something that was easy to make but it was the only choice _he_ had to make, for everyone’s happiness.


	19. We Make A Choice To Make Decisions (Part 2)

_-The Morning After-_

“Hi.” Robin says in a voice that almost cracks a little when she says this word. It was like she was up at that alter eight years ago, saying this exact same word to him before she made promises, a million promises to be there for him when times get tough. To talk to him more about things even if it’s embarrassing or bad. To love, to honor, to be by his side through sickness and health. To be his partner until they both died, she knows she broke those promises and the regret of signing those divorce papers became guilt, the guilt she felt after signing those divorce papers and officially leaving him to pursue her career. A career that she liked having but missed having her partner to talk to, to talk about her day, bad or good. To come home to knowing that he will always be there. She had missed him so much all those months after the divorce was final.

“Hi.” Barney had been thinking about going over to her place later on this day to surprise her and tell her that he finally broke up with Shannon. But, Ellie had a bad night last night, he had trouble getting her to calm down to go back to sleep. But nothing that he tried to do worked, so he was up until she went to sleep again at 3 in the morning.

Shannon had left after he told her about Robin and what was happening with her since the wedding. Even though Shannon was mad, felt betrayed and hurt by what was going on behind her back. She understood that he wants to be with Robin, and there was nothing she could do to change his mind. Shannon wasn’t happy about getting kicked out of the apartment but he told her that she is welcome at the apartment anytime. He doesn’t want to not have her in his life because she is important to him and in Ellie’s life. Shannon decided to go to her parents house in Connecticut taking a late night train. She wanted to be alone after what happened with Barney, but she understood that this had to happen. They allowed for Ellie to stay at his place for the night until Shannon clears her head and figures out what’s next for herself. Yes, she is still Eleanor’s mother and will see Barney all the time. It hurt, losing Barney again it hurt her more than she thought. Him choosing Robin over her and their life together it hurt because she had thought that maybe, just maybe Barney would forget all about Robin to move on with her. He had moved on but Shannon’s plan to change his thoughts about his relationship with Robin, didn’t change his heart. It made his heart full, complete again. His wife came back home to be with him, there was nothing that made him as happy as Robin does.

When, Shannon found that ring in his apartment two weeks ago. She wasn’t sure whose it was since she knew it wasn’t a piece of her jewelry. The ring is really stunning, she had wondered whose it was, until the thought that maybe Robin had not just arrived to town again to say hello to Barney, but she actually came back for the wedding and Barney lied to her about this fact for over a month. Shannon didn’t think that Robin was staying at his apartment and didn’t jump to that conclusion either. She decided to ignore the awful dread filling her mind until she moved in. Barney had been working all day on this day so she decided to clean up the apartment a little and do some errands, with him gone the apartment was for the first time since moving in had felt like hers. It wasn’t just Barney’s apartment, it is their’s now. So, she was cleaning his bedroom, organizing his drawers and making sure every suit and tie in his closet was perfectly placed the way she knows he likes it.

“Huh?” She thought while cleaning around inside one of the nightstand drawers. It is the second one on the other side of his bed. Since moving in here a few days ago she had noticed that he doesn’t use the second nightstand because he has his on his side of the bed, she wants to use it, wants to clean it out if she finds it dirty or messy.

She opens the draw to rearrange the things that are inside it, at first she took everything out of the draw to dust inside it but she had missed something while taking everything out. She placed the items on his bed and then turns back to the draw. She sees a shiny object on the left side of the draw with a chain attached to the piece of jewelry someone had put in this draw. Shannon knows that this piece of jewelry isn’t hers but she takes a minute to admire it in her hand and then she sees that it’s an engagement ring, and inside the engagement ring there is an inscription...

_B&R_ and below that it says a date 5.26.13 and the words _Legendmarried._

Shannon knew right away that Robin had been here. She instantly had a sick feeling that Barney had been sleeping with Robin while she was away upstate. The beautiful elegant ring in her hand, is Robin’s engagement ring. The feeling of Barney cheating on her had hit much harder than she thought it would. So after discovering this ring she takes the ring and puts it in her jewelry box in the walk in closet. She kind of takes her mind off the ring for the following weeks, in that time she spends all of it with Barney and their daughter. Barney still works so Shannon decided to stay home with Ellie while he’s working and when she’s at work on the weekends Barney looks after Ellie. So moving in was a good idea, she now regrets not moving in when he first asked her.

After, Barney breaks up their relationship she gives him the ring she had held onto for the last two weeks. She didn’t want to be bitter, or not tell him about this ring. She didn’t want to be That bitch who’s jealousy overwhelms her and breaks her relationship with Barney more than necessary. So she decided to not keep the ring a secret.

“I was actually going to go see you later today. I had a long night, still pretty tired from not sleeping well.” He tells Robin smiling lightly so happy to see her again after five weeks of thinking of her consistently all the time. Looking at her now, he knows he made the right decision. His heart just exploded when he opened the door and she’s the one standing on the other side.

“I’m sorry to hear that. How’s Ellie doing? Is she here?” Robin is a little nervous but she tries to calm her nerves by asking about his daughter and it helps.

“She’s finally asleep, has been for six hours now. But she should wake up soon.” It’s 9 in the morning, after finally getting Ellie back to sleep he went to bed but didn’t sleep because he had a lot on his mind.

From his conversation with Shannon to thoughts of Robin, and making sure that his daughter will sleep for the rest of the night. It all made him more tired but very happy.

“And, Shannon is she here?” She knows that Shannon moved in with him that’s why she asked.

“No. She, um... she left last night to Connecticut after I told her about us.” Robin’s eyes shot up in confusion and shock.

“You... you told her about us?”

“She knows everything. I broke up with her last night.” He smiles and for the first time Robin since coming home, her nerves calm. The nerves she had coming over here for the last few hours. She smiles back wide and brightly because he chose her.

After everything that has happened in the last four years. She’s finally back where her heart always wanted to be.

“Really?” She wants to make sure she isn’t imagining what he just told her.

“Really. Robin, I love you. I broke it off with Shannon because it was the right thing to do.” In the moment Robin couldn’t help herself and moved in to his personal space. She kisses him soundly so happy he made her his again. He loves her, he wants to be with her, he broke up with Shannon for her. This was all so much to take in but it makes what she has to tell him so much easier to say.

“I love you too.” She says after she pulls away so that they can go inside to talk. The kiss gave her the courage to tell him about this pregnancy.

“I have thought about you ever since that last time. I thought it would be our last time. I knew leaving you was the wrong thing to do but only with the right motive. But it was all wrong, because it was and will always be you.” She’s starting to cry this was every she needed to hear and more.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you either. Lily told me that you were really moving in with Shannon I thought you chose her and moved on.” This broke her, her heart felt crushed. She was in pain... thank goodness it wasn’t emotional pain over her thoughts of losing him again. It was something else entirely.

“I never moved on. I didn’t move on after our divorce, I didn’t move on when I got into a relationship with Shannon. I didn’t move on after I had Ellie. I thought of only you for past four years. You’re the love of my life, there is no way I will ever stop loving you.” Gosh she can’t stop the waterfall from her eyes.

“I haven’t either. I love you, I appreciate you, I can’t see my life without you anymore. I need you, I know it’s something I didn’t say often but it’s true. I can’t do life without the love of my life by my side.” They smile at each other and know right then that they are back together.

“I came here not just to tell you that I love you, am in love with you. But, also because I have some news...” she isn’t as nervous as she was to tell him but she’s a little worried he won’t take this well.

“I’m pregnant.” He looks at her, at first it was a ‘what?’ Kind of look, but then he softened his shock and walks over to where she’s standing.

She wasn’t sure what he was going to do but he surprised her with another kiss. Well that answered her concerns... as they kissed she knew that everything will turn out perfectly.

“I thought you were infertile?” The sadness of this still lingers around them. It’s why he had to ask, he’s so happy about this sudden news.

Not only does he have the woman he loves back. But she’s pregnant, surprising him all over again as she had many times before.

“Turns out, the last time together really wasn’t our last time. I found out yesterday that I am four weeks along. I was emotional over you staying with Shannon so my emotions overwhelmed me and I was in severe pain. I guess with everything that has happened since I came back here caused me more pain than anything... but this time it’s a good pain. It all brought me back to you.” It was everything they both needed and wanted for the past four years.

“Ellie’s going to have a sister or a brother?” He says to her right after they had kissed again. They are sitting on the couch post kiss and conversation. The realization that he’s going to be a father for a second time with the woman he wanted children with, is the most amazing thing to have happened since Robin came home. This new reality, the woman he loves, his daughter in the other room and this little new miracle. His life is back to where he always wanted it to be.

“Yeah, she is.” She never thought she would be this happy about having baby or this way about being pregnant. She’s excited to be back where she belongs and to share this special moment with him.

Barney, pauses this conversation to walk over to the kitchen area. He opens the draw where he had put Robin’s engagement ring in after Shannon left, he hides the ring behind his back and walks back over to where Robin stood by the couch, kneeling down on one knee... “Robin Charles Scherbatsky Stinson will you be my wife again?”

“Yes!” She smiles extending her hand and with tears in both their eyes they embrace their new life together.

Even though they split up and then officially divorced. It took a long time to take their rings off...

TBC


	20. The Happily Ever After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barney and Robin go through the journey of becoming parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end, I want to thank everyone for reading this story it was really fun to write. It’s one of my best written stories, I hope you all liked the way this went. I originally planned on making this a lot more darker than I did but it turned out more lighthearted than I imagined in my head. Anyway, this last part takes place in different times it starts out right after BR get back together and ends 1 year later.

“I didn’t even know I had left this here.” Robin says hours after getting back together. They’re lying in bed post sex, calming themselves from their reunion. These intimate times between them have always been the most important thing in their relationship. Their most private and personal thoughts, feelings and emotions all come out when they’re in bed.

People like them, don’t usually like opening up to other people but becoming friends and getting to know each other first had found a foundation to their coupling. When, Robin said that three letter word eight years ago. She didn’t expect what happened after getting married. But she now realizes and admits that her decisions in the past were wrong. She knew that Barney would be there for her and support her through anything she wanted to do. She knows that he understands that her career had been the most important thing in her life. Until she accepted this gorgeous huge diamond ring she had kept and never gave back or got rid of it. Through the years she kept this ring and her wedding ring, when she took off her wedding ring (a year and half after the split) she truly wanted to forget and try to move on. But as much as she tried to move on she knew that a piece of her-self was only a phone call away or a text away. Because, Barney gave her the confidence to do anything she wanted. Her career was no longer the thing she loved most in her life, Barney became the thing in her life that was always there and never second best. She wanted it all, but when work and travel started to overwhelm her, she started to focus on work and paid less attention to her husband who had been going through of his own struggles with his career.

Robin, didn’t know how to deal with being a wife, having her career, traveling, and being the partner that Barney needed. But over those lost years apart, her heart kept making her understand why she needed her space, but also why splitting up when they did was only a way for her to be alone to think. When she finally did come home, back to New York. She wanted to work things out, Barney pleaded with her to give their marriage another shot without going through with the divorce. But, she kept being unsure of what she wanted at the time. Now, after four years apart, Robin finally figured out what she wants...

She still loves this ring and will always wear it. It’s part of her heart and her heart finally came back to her after four years of grieving, being hurt, unsure, confused, lonely, she felt so alone for those four years and now she is Home again. And the most important thing in her life made her his again.

“Shannon found it in the nightstand two weeks ago. She didn’t tell me that she had it until last night. I thought she was going to be angry about me breaking up with her, but she took it better than I thought. She was mad, and upset though about my decision she even cursed me out but I know that she was understanding of my choosing to be happy over her and the life she wanted with me and Ellie. But, I had never stopped thinking about you, I never stopped talking about you, I never stopped loving you. Through the last two years, Shannon knew how I still felt about you. I did try to move on with her when you were working and traveling, but as much as that made me happy I wasn’t completely happy because there was this feeling of loss. I was still grieving over you and our failed marriage. I guess now looking back on it I was never ready to be in a relationship with Shannon again because you are the only woman I want to be with. I saw my future with you, only you for a long time. Now that I found where my happiness is again I am so happy to finally be in a place where I know I’m settled. You coming home made me realize that you are my home. There is nothing else I need in my life than you.” And now she’s crying again. After four years of feeling the worst sense of loss she’s ever felt in her life. They had grieved over each other not knowing that there would be a future together again.

“So, now that we’re back together. What are we going to do about this pregnancy?” He asks after they kiss for a few minutes. Their reunion can wait a few more minutes, he wants to know what she’s going to do about her pregnancy.

“I thought about it for a long 24 hours, I want this baby. We thought I would never get to conceive just four years ago. I can’t see any future without this child in it. So we will have this baby and figure things out... together. We are not going into this relationship again without totally and completely being all in. Talking more, being more open, being honest with each other because I don’t want what happened four years ago to happen again.” There’s still a slight sadness to her tone because she almost lost him to another woman. Who is the mother of his daughter that was something she thought she would never get to have.... with Barney. She thought Shannon would get the life she wanted to have with him.

“No. It’s not going to be any miscommunication and lone wolfing anymore, we’re a team. There’s going to be another baby, that takes a lot to handle. When Ellie was born I struggled, a lot. The only time I tried to not be a father was when I thought of you. Yes I didn’t want to be a father at all, but when I thought of you or of us, or the future I had and wanted for us. I only thought about what you mean to me. It made those struggles of being a parent less stressful. When you have two babies to take care of that’s even more. But, it’s still very overwhelming being a parent I learned that the hard way whenever someone said I was doing something wrong or when Shannon would yell at me for doing something wrong. I felt like I always felt... useless. But with you, as my partner parenting together. That makes me happy knowing that you’re this kids mother. I don’t have to pretend anymore because I have the love of my life back and we’re going to have the life we wanted together when we got married.” He rubs his hand over her still flat stomach but he knows that there’s a baby growing inside Robin right now and he’s beyond excited to be a father again but this time it’s with the right woman. The woman who will always be his true love.

“I love you, so much Barney Stinson.” With all the nerves she had since learning of her pregnancy. She isn’t nervous anymore knowing that Barney is the father of her child, her image of a family with Barney was just a dream she dreamt about for years, and thought she would never get to have. But now that dream is true, it never went away just like her love for this wonderful slightly crazy man she fell head over heels for. She almost lost that forever, but she knew that her heart was waiting for him, as it has many times in the past... even when at times she tried to give up. She never did and is happier now than she’s ever been in her life.

For the rest of this day Barney and Robin spent most of the morning taking care of Ellie after she woke up at 10, she had slept a good six hours. The little girl had kept Barney up for hours trying to get her back to sleep. But the little girl didn’t want to, until he figured out why she wasn’t sleeping. When he starts playing the instrumental version of Sandcastle In The Sand the little girl quieted down right as Barney started softly humming the tune to her. Ellie just didn’t want to go to sleep that was the reason she kept him awake. At first, Barney thought that Ellie started to miss her mother. But really, the minute he held her and rocked her in the rocking chair while humming the classic tune to her. That instrumental version of his favorites song it always put Ellie to sleep in the first two months after she was born. He knows that Ellie loves that song it works every time she wasn’t sleeping or had a hard time getting to sleep.

After the morning was spent together as a family. Barney and Robin wanted to tell their friends that they are officially back together.

“There they are.” Announced Lily, the gang had all come before Barney and Robin made their appearance at their old hangout.

“Wow, girl you’re glowing.” Lily says standing up to hug Robin. She knew about this pregnancy and had not said anything to Marshall or anyone since finding out about Robin’s pregnancy. But Marshall now knows about Robin’s pregnancy.

“Thanks. We wanted you to all know, that it’s official... we’re married again.” Everyone is stunned at Robin’s announcement. They all didn’t think that Barney and Robin would get married again but the smiles on their face says everything they need to know.

“WHAT?” They all say in unison.

“When did this happen?” Marshall says, after the excitement of the announcement was over.

“This afternoon. We went to City Hall, remarried after Barney re-proposed this morning.” They wanted to get married right away so they went to City Hall after Robin called in a personal favor, she knows the District Attorney a judge married them. It was a quick wedding, just them promising to never leave each other again.

“Well, I’m really glad you two finally realized what we all knew.” Tracy says, it has only been seven years since meeting Ted’s friends but Tracy really likes them all. Barney had become a really close friend after the divorce, he had helped her with her kids while Ted was working or away on a business trip. At the time, Barney was just trying to get through his emotions after the divorce, but Tracy knew that he wasn’t over Robin. She tried helping the couple work things out. But, they decided to divorce anyway. It really hurt him, more so than anyone else other than Tracy could see. The night she met Barney, she knew that Robin was and will always be his real true love. Tracy saw it in his eyes, how sad and broken he seemed to be over his mixed and confusing feelings. Yes, Barney had been through a lot especially after the divorce was finalized. But, Tracy had no idea he was seeing Shannon or anyone for that matter. And now the guy she met on that bus bench, who tried to hit on her to shield the pain of his hurt and confusing feelings. Is now smiling brightly from ear to ear as Robin announced that they are married again.

“Yeah, we really are.” Ted says, seeing how happy Robin is with Barney. Makes him understand more now why Robin’s happiness matters. Her happiness is with Barney, and he is now a happily married man with two wonderful kids.

“Thank you, Ted.” Robin looks at him and smiles, not because she feels anything towards him but because his friendship over the years helped her find her true love. Her soulmate!

“So, how’s the pregnancy going so far?” Lily asks a half hour after they were talking about Barney and Robin’s relationship and them getting remarried.

“So far, so good. Actually I never felt better or more healthy in my life. All the stress I had been under and my feelings over Barney it did affect my health a bit. But, being pregnant isn’t how I thought it would be.” So far, she hasn’t had any morning sickness or any sickness for that matter not since she experienced those pains yesterday before she found out about said pregnancy.

“You’re only seven weeks along, pregnancies are difficult for every woman. You will have cravings, you well sweat more, go to the bathroom more, you’ll be more tired than usual and you might feel those pains people usually have during a pregnancy. You really do though look more prettier, and less sickly than you were yesterday.” Lily’s just giving Robin a little warning about pregnancy but Robin is happy and hadn’t had any problems with her pregnancy, in fact making love earlier today made her feel better about the anxiety she was feeling about this pregnancy and telling Barney. She doesn’t have any concerns right now.

“I’m happy. Stress is no longer going to be in my life. I have my life line (she looks at Barney when she says this), I thought I was going to lose him only a few weeks ago and now we’re married again, and have a baby on the way. There is nothing at all I need more than to relax and enjoy being pregnant and getting my husband back.” She’s not going to let anything or anyone get her down, not today. Not anymore!

The gang stayed for two more hours on this night, catching up on their lives, drinking and eating with a light conversation. After years of stress, fighting their feelings before and after the divorce was finalized, and missing each other more than they admitted in the three years post divorce. They are both at a place they should have been four years ago. Settled.

_Eight Months Later_

“Get this baby out of me... Nowwww!” Robin screams. She had gone into labor early on January 13, 2021 even though she had scheduled a C-Section prior to going into labor for the 15th. But this little one wanted to meet the world two days earlier.

“You’re doing great, babe.” He’s trying to encourage her, to help her through this labor which she’s been in for more than 12 hours already. But she just keeps cursing him out or saying no I can’t do this.

“Shut up, and get me some ice chips.” Barney’s voice started to annoy her with all the ‘you’re doing great babe, you’re brave, you’re strong.’ Even though the things he was saying to her was sweet she really can’t do sweet right now.

“Push, Robin. We’re getting there.” Her doctors tells her to push once more but at this point she’s beginning to feel weak from all the pushing and lack of oxygen all around her she feels like the room is about to cave in on her.

“You can do it.” Barney shouts again from the other end of the room after he gave Robin some ice chips. Before all this happened she almost broke his hand as she screamed bloody murder while in labor. 

“No, I can’t.” She feels like all this trouble of giving birth was not what she expected but people warned her. They told her that pregnancy isn’t always easy but she had an easy, stress free pregnancy with no complications. But this... this is hell.

“Yes you can. You are the strongest person I know. You can get through everything... you thought you could do life without me by being alone, you lived a life without me. But you realized that lone wolfing it alone wasn’t what you wanted. You wanted to lone wolf life with me, but you got through the divorce and now we’re together again having a baby. All the pain of the past is not worthy of your future anymore.” She tries to look over at Barney standing away from her giving birth. She smiles and nods her head, she can do this. She is doing it.

“Okay, Robin one more big push.” She pushes as hard as she could with her weak body but she pushes enough to hear her baby crying.

“You did it babe. She’s here!” Barney was really excited about the fact that they were having a girl, because Ellie now has a baby sister and a roommate for the next 18 years...

“Aw, Barney she’s beautiful.” The little baby has dark hair and bright blue eyes once she opened her eyes for the first time. 

“Just like her mama.” They were both thinking that they would be having a boy eight months into the pregnancy, people made bets on it. When they found out that they were expecting a girl they were shockingly surprised but happy that they were going to have a daughter.

Robin had pictured having a son, with Barney it’s an image she couldn’t stop thinking about until she found out that she was having a daughter. It scared her because she was afraid of not being the kind of mother her daughter will need, because of her upbringing, the way she was raised. But eventually she came to terms with having a daughter because she saw how amazing Barney is with Ellie it was not so shocking anymore knowing that Barney is this girls father.

“So, what name are we giving this little one?” One of Robin’s nurses asks after Robin had fallen asleep after giving birth.

Robin looks at Barney and he looks at her smiling already knowing the name they had picked out a month ago.

“Rosanna Elisabeth Stinson-Scherbatsky.” Yes they agreed to use both last names for this baby even if it was a boy. Johnny was the name they wanted for a boy but this name popped out to them while picking out names for weeks. Neither had gotten anywhere figuring out what to name their unborn child but this name was the standout. It just fit, this little girl is a bright Rose in their life it’s a perfect meaningful name.

“Wow, what a long name.” The nurse says writing it down on their daughter’s birth certificate.

“It’s perfect.” The couple look at each other and know they chose the right name for their daughter.

They kiss and then Barney leaves to let Robin get some rest goes to the waiting room to talk with the gang and family. They had all come to see the newborn. It was a joyous occasion the last member of their gang... it’s complete.

“Well, I am a father again.” Barney announces, they all gather around him to congratulate him.

“How’s Robin? I heard it was a long hard labor.” Tracy asks wanting to know how Robin is doing after giving birth. She knows it’s hard to overcome and recover from giving birth two kids is more than enough for her.

“She is such a trooper. The strongest woman I know. It was a hard labor and quite long, thirteen hours.”

“I can’t believe I have another grandchild.” Loretta has three other grandchildren but had thought in the past that Barney would never give her a grand baby but he has... twice.

“Thanks mom.” They hug and then Marshall asks!

“So what name did you choose?” Lily, Marshall, Ted, Tracy, even family members on both sides had given them name options and opinions even before they even knew that they were having a girl. But the name they choose was neither of the names their friends or family wanted.

“Rosanna Elisabeth Stinson-Scherbatsky, we both like the name Rosanna and it’s Robin’s grandmother’s name so it was perfect for our daughter.” Everyone starting awing and shouting over the name announcement, it’s a great name really beautiful.

“Can we go see Robin?” Lily asks impatiently wanting to see her best friend, she’s been waiting all day.

“Give her about an hour, she’s exhausted. But you can go see Rosie.” He already has a nickname for his daughter that’s sweet.

“Ok.” Lily and the rest understand that after giving birth Robin would need her rest especially considering her almost fifteen hours of labor.

As the day went on, the gang visited with the newborn who had been brought to the NICU for the night. The gang and family members all visited Robin this day and the following day. Two days later Robin is released with her newborn daughter in her arms and her husband by her side.

_One Year_

“Are you sure about this?” Robin asks not wanting to leave. She had taken a year off from work to take care of her daughter, she wanted to give all her time in this year to her daughter. It wasn’t easy learning to be a mother after Rosie had been brought home from the hospital, but Barney was a great help. He already knew what to do with a newborn especially one who gets fussy and uncomfortable at most times of the day. Barney helped Robin with all the struggles, stress and frustrations she had being a mother to a newborn but she wanted to spend more time with her so that’s what she did...

Until she decided to return to work.

“Yes, I can handle it while you’re at your meeting. Don’t worry, if I have to call you I will but I know what to do. She loves me, we will be fine.” His little girl, his little Princess they got along really well this past year. There is nothing that will happen while Robin’s at work unless it’s important or an emergency.

“Okay. Bye baby girl, mamma loves you.” With the little girl in her father’s arms Robin knows she is in good hands. However, she doesn’t want to leave...

“Ok, ok, you’re going to be late. We got this!” Barney knew she was delaying leaving because she doesn’t want to leave. But she has to, this is an important meeting about her show she has to go.

“Fine, fine I am going.” She kisses her daughter’s head she still smells like a newborn, like she was just born. But she’s a year old now. With tears in her eyes she then kisses her husband before he literally pushes her out the door because if he didn’t she would never leave.

As the day went on, there was no situations that were important until Shannon stops by.

“Hi, Barney.” It’s been months since they last saw each other. Shannon had fought with him over full custody of their daughter after she filed for custody out of bitterness and resentment for him leaving her. It was a grueling decision for both of them but in the end Barney gave in and let Shannon take full custody of their daughter. 

He had fought her for five months, trying desperately to keep his rights to their daughter. But after discussing it with Robin, he realized that _their_ daughter (Rosie) is the more important daughter in his life. It was only four months after Rose was born when Shannon filed for custody but as much as he wanted to remain a parent in Ellie’s life. He had to let Shannon take soul custody of Ellie even though it broke his heart to let his daughter go, since he barely saw her. But he did and even though it took some time to get over, he has Robin and Rosie in his life. That’s all he needs to be happy.

“Shannon. It’s nice to see you again, how’s El?” Yes it took time to forgive her for taking his daughter away from him. But he is now thankful that Shannon fought him on custody because he got to spend all his time with Rosie, it made that situation a lot better and made him happy even though he missed Ellie.

“She’s fine, I um. Wanted to come see how you were doing. It’s been months since we last saw each other. I don’t want you to not be in Ellie’s life.” She thought about it, for a long time. But she realized that Ellie had been unhappy, which to her meant that she missed her father. So she decided to let Barney see Ellie from time to time it’s important for Ellie’s growth as a child to be around a positive environment.

“Oh, I don’t know what to say to that. You wanted custody. I tried to fight it but you wanted it so I gave you what you wanted... so that you didn’t resent me for cheating and lying to you. I didn’t want you to hate me so I let you have custody.” It really hurt him, it hurt her too but in the end they did the right thing even though Shannon had come to regret this decision.

“I didn’t hate you, Barney I was mad at you for a long time. But what I realized is that Ellie needs her dad in her life. She has been unhappy these past few months, asking me why dada isn’t there. I had some thinking to do over these past few months and realized I was just angry and bitter over you leaving me. Ellie needs you in her life. I don’t want you to never see her again. You’re important to her, so I made a decision to be a good roll model for her. I want you to be in her life.” Shannon’s resentment and anger over losing Barney had made her do something drastic and that was filing for full custody. But, now she regrets being petty, it’s the right thing to do for her daughter.

“Oh, wow. I had no idea you would change your mind. I made peace with not being in Ellie’s life, but you don’t know what this means to me.” He is shocked, absolutely stunned at this sudden change of heart.

He has been missing Ellie, he has never forgotten her, she is always on his mind especially when he’s with Rosie. He wanted Rosie to have her sister in her life, he didn’t want them to grow up not knowing each other or Ellie not knowing who he is. Because, not knowing who your father is messes with your head.

“I know what it means to Ellie. She has been missing you, it’s the right thing to do. I was bitter and mad about you cheating but I realized I was being selfish. I allowed my anger to control my feelings over being hurt by you and didn’t see that it would effect Ellie’s life, and her growth. As a young child, she needs a positive environment around her positivity is important for their maturity and growth in their young years. I’m not bitter or angry anymore for making the decision you made. I want you to be in Ellie’s life, so what do you say to having her come stay here for this weekend?”

Barney can’t believe Shannon’s decision it makes him so happy to hear her tell him that taking Ellie from him was a mistake out of bitterness and resentment for the choice he made. But this made him incredibly whole again, he had missed Ellie even though he tried to move on from that situation.

“I would like that. I want her to meet Rosie.” Shannon knew that Robin was pregnant before she gave birth and knew that the baby was Barney’s child with her, which she and Barney kept from her for months before Robin gave birth. But she didn’t know that he had another daughter or his daughter’s name. Shannon stayed away, in her bitter resentment. She didn’t want to know about Barney’s life with Robin.

“Rosie?”

“Rosanna, Rosanna Elisabeth. It’s Robin’s grandmother’s name.”

Shannon really loves that name, it kind of overwhelms her for a minute.

“That’s a really beautiful name.” She’s trying not to cry in front of him but it does make her cry.

“I’m sorry, I’m just emotional these days. I didn’t mean to be a downer on you being happy. I just... I am a bit jealous.” She finally admits after three years how jealous she has been of Robin, because Barney was never happy with her, not when they were young and naive, and dumb and now recently. He found true love, that’s something she never found. She thought she had that with Barney but she made the worst mistake of her life cheating on him and breaking up with him the way she did. She has come to regret all of her decisions in her life but she never did get over that initial mistake.

“What’s wrong?”

“I am happy for you but I regret the way things went when we were younger. I regretted every day after that. I thought when we reunited I would get to make up for all those years we missed together. I thought it was fate when we met in Starbucks. I, I’m really sorry for breaking down like this.” 

He feels for her, in that moment he forgets all the happiness he’s had in the last year and goes over to her, giving her a hug. Shannon has come to mean so much to him when they reunited. He knows her better now than he did when they were younger. The pain he felt after his divorce, losing Robin. He understands why she feels this way, years of the unknown does take affect on your life. It did for him after Shannon and again after the divorce but he knew he found his partner in life. His One. Love who he couldn’t live without. 

“I am sorry I cheated on you.” He tells her a few minutes after hugging her to allow her to calm down.

“I am sorry for cheating on you too.” For the first time in over two decades they smile at each other knowing that they aren’t ever going to be apart from each other’s life, even though he is with Robin. Shannon is still a big part of his life.

After Shannon leaves an hour later, then Robin comes home from her meeting. It was a long wait... for them to finally be happy and settled but they are and they’re incredibly happy knowing that they are together forever.

After talking, Barney and Robin called up Shannon and made a play date for both children to meet. It would be the first time all four people in Barney’s life came together to be a family. Shannon and Robin do become friends and it helps settle any resentment, bitterness and anger or jealousy be put to rest. Barney is more than happy to include Shannon in his life with Robin.

The end


End file.
